warfare guru

its tough to do violent combat these days. people arent nearly as accepting of vicious war crimes as they used to be. people will judge you

proud to announce that my funeral party is going exactly as planned now that ive performed the needed sacrifices

if youu say something stupid about taking my shit that i labored for away from me ..just know im going to try my hardest to beat the crap out of you.im going to draw my sword and straight up kill you

meet me on the field of battle and just try to do shit to me. im a demigod & accomplished warrior. my 11 year old son has been molded into the perfect war criminal just to be more like me.im going to end yuour miserable life

what ever man. i am driving my bronze tipped spear through your chest by the way

Any body on the field of battle today brave enough to come from the ranks to challenge me?

Drove my chariot onto the front today for the first time In a long time. Forgot how obvious it was that Battle is where i will meet my swiftly approaching end

saw my buddy on the desolate shore, he was exactly as he had been in life... i said let me yet again hold you, he said mortal fate has consumed me you must give me to the fire from which i shall not return. i said i was gonna die soon too, he said indubitably. bury our bones together, and vanished. nothing i could do except weep and lement

I would FEEL a lot more valued by the warrior kings if they came to my hut BEGGING for me to help out in combat again, but I would never give into their demands. im tired of battling warriors for the sake of their women.im over this bull shit

IM ALIVE WHILE HE IS DEAD, MY LIFE IS SHIT, MY ASS IS WEEPING AND SCREAMING, MY FACE IS COVERED IN ASH, MY SWORD HAS BEEN CONFISCATED, MY WARLIKE HANDS ARE UPON HIS DEAD CHEST AS I GROAN ENDLESSLY, AND MY MEN ARE BEING MADE TO LAMENT ALL NIGHT LONG

pacifism is over for me right now, me and my war boys are going back to killing

my shit swangin (my sword in my scabbard)

i'm trying really hard to evade my fate of losing my life turbulent and violent combat but the gods keep killing my closest companions and giving me horrible grief and an unending thirst for blood .

are my war crimes even really that bad. i think the people of troy are overreacting

once again grasping at my balls in the privacy of my hut as the danaan troops risk their lives in perilous battle just outside the encampment.whats it to you pal. you dont have to do that shit anymore either

tomorrow i will perform sacrifices to Zeus and the other gods and then launch ALL OF MY SHIPS to return again to the teeming hellespont...maybe then people will wish they appreciated the treasures i won them while risking my life in ceaseless combat more often instead of sucking agamemnon’s dick all day

im constantly brandishing my sword and thrusting my spear