"he’s 24 months old" bitch your son is two

Blood orange? She's so pretentious. Shut up its fucking red

oops I went on a rant

i love you?

owlsandink

And this is why I'm a girls girl 95% of the time tixgres

only 90s kids can reblog this

australians dont have sex

australians mate

I spat out my coffee

sorry about your

frICK

owlsandink

tixgres I love you.

owlsandink

I thought you might

tigress I'd put this for your contact on my phone but I have the Jenna Marbles face and that's too perfect to take down. 

someone, i don't care who, needs to give this to me for valentines day

this is seriously like the perfect title for a really bad porno

owlsandink

tixgres I love you.

this is perfect

Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”

*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*

Animal: *licks its own asshole*

human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*

this is mY FAVORITE THING

This is being polite, like if you don't have a good relationship with your Nan this is how you talk to and around her here in Australia. Usually it's fuck you fuck this he's a cunt she's a wanker you're a nob she's a dirty fucking dog....