If you like the word “queer” reblog.

#fun umbrella. we r all sitting under it like the big rainbow thing in elementary school gym class

dungeons & dragons: honor among thieves + text posts bonus:

ⓘ You can Bite your Friends.

ⓘ reblog to fuckign BITE your mutuals

[INTENTIONALLY DECEITFUL STATEMENT FOR THE SAKE OF COMEDY]

[INTENTIONALLY

DECEITFUL STATEMENT FOR THE

SAKE OF COMEDY]

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

do NOT get into fibre arts!!!! you try one and then all of a sudden you have 10 hobbies and wanna try 10 more

Its me, your feral godmother

*waves a wand and grants you the teeth and claws to fuck your evil step family up*

Good luck kid you're in a reverse beauty and beast situation. Do not let that princely motherfucker fall in love with your inner humanity or the spell will fail and you'll turn human again

Good news if you bite his ass you can start a pack together. Go forth. Enjoy the ball

You can bite a princess too if you want. Or a milkmaid, or a butler or whatever. Go nuts. The more the merrier

#misread as feral hogmother

That's my girlfriend, she's rooting for you too

#investing at 70 notes

That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about a post of mine that wasn't an addition to a post of someone else's XD

#posts that will become Tumblr heritage

I wish. I don't think it's even gonna crack 500 notes

"everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted.

I CAST BOOP AT 9TH LEVEL

COUNTER BOOP

the only good innovation from facebook was the poke feature. tumblr needs the poke. when a cute girl is mass reblogging me and i don't wanna call them out to their face but i wanna go hey. i see you. being cute. rubbing your face on my blog like a cat. that's what the poke's for

@staff give me fingers so i can do mischief

It was YOU (thank you)

(I will boop everyone who reblogs this post, for the record 💖)

Tumblr users when they introduce a silly little button

hello tumblr

You have been booped by this empty wrapping paper tube.

Reblog to boop all of your followers with it.

boop :)

I'm a cryptid in Stardew valley. I live on the outskirts of town. I disappear for days on end, purchasing daily one-way tickets to the calico desert. Nobody knows where I go while I'm there. Can occasionally be found fishing at random spots throughout town. I am never not running on at least one triple shot espresso. I take the abandoned minecarts to get around and am frequently seen disappearing into the sewers. I carry a sword for some reason. Once every week or two I will stride into your bedroom to deliver you your favorite meal. I'm a self-made millionaire. I attend all the town events and will go to your concert in the next town over. I have donated approximately 2583 items to the local museum and singlehandedly revitalized the town community center. There are rumors I can talk to junimos. I'm friends with the local wizard