"taken" style action movie where a man searches for his wife. as he fights baddies in gunfights and hand-to-hand combat, it's slowly revealed that:

the tension builds until, drenched in blood, our protagonist steps forward for the final showdown. he pulls a manila envelope from his bullet-torn jacket and throws it at his wife's feet. he's just spent an entire trilogy biting & killing & maiming....all so he can deliver his shit wife her divorce papers

All it means when people say “you’re speaking from a place of privilege” is that you’re likely to underestimate how bad the problem is by default because you are never personally exposed to that problem. It’s not a moral judgement of how difficult your life is.

the doctor plot: woahh idk who i am anymore my personality is hidden in this little watch

martha jones plot:

this was a correct diagnosis btw

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

I tried to scroll past this. I really did

Hell yeah they do.

I think if indiana jones' adoring students ever went on an Adventure(tm) with him it would be really funny if that was the turn off. like, a routine dig he was leading for the school goes awry and he has to get all cocky gunslinger ladies man hero mode and the students are like. hey what the fuck. his shirt gets ripped up revealing he's jacked and that one girl is immediately wiping the 'I love you' make up off her eyes. an entire room filled with artifacts gets destroyed while they make an escape and the kids are all horrified. "professor jones. how many people have you killed" "well, do you count the damn nazis as people-" "UNFORTUNATELY YES. LEGALLY YES. ARE ALL ARCHEOLOGISTS MURDERERS." he's flirting with some random woman on the dig and all the students are like what the hell. you can't talk like that. where did the droning and stutter go. why are you not flustered. she inevitably swoons into his arms or something and they're like "oh my God eww he's so sweaty. ma'am literally what's wrong with you. blink twice if you need help". they're so betrayed to find out he never even NEEDED glasses, he was wearing nonprescription lenses in class. Indy's lowkey hurt he's like I thought you guys thought I was cool :( and they're like 'yeah when you're in a bowtie and telling us about sumarian gardening techniques. WHY do you have a whip right now you freak'

I think if indiana jones' adoring students ever went on an Adventure(tm) with him it would be really funny if that was the turn off. like, a routine dig he was leading for the school goes awry and he has to get all cocky gunslinger ladies man hero mode and the students are like. hey what the fuck. his shirt gets ripped up revealing he's jacked and that one girl is immediately wiping the 'I love you' make up off her eyes. an entire room filled with artifacts gets destroyed while they make an escape and the kids are all horrified. "professor jones. how many people have you killed" "well, do you count the damn nazis as people-" "UNFORTUNATELY YES. LEGALLY YES. ARE ALL ARCHEOLOGISTS MURDERERS." he's flirting with some random woman on the dig and all the students are like what the hell. you can't talk like that. where did the droning and stutter go. why are you not flustered. she inevitably swoons into his arms or something and they're like "oh my God eww he's so sweaty. ma'am literally what's wrong with you. blink twice if you need help". they're so betrayed to find out he never even NEEDED glasses, he was wearing nonprescription lenses in class. Indy's lowkey hurt he's like I thought you guys thought I was cool :( and they're like 'yeah when you're in a bowtie and telling us about sumarian gardening techniques. WHY do you have a whip right now you freak'

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me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid

In love with this

we have to spread this around so this dudes hapless victims can go "YOU!!!"

we have to spread this

around so this dudes hapless

victims can go “YOU!!!”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

motherfucker said PROFESSIONAL

Here on tumblr we are all professionals.

I think it’s stuff like this which makes people say we aren’t professional

Anytime i see a bunch of pride flags i have to restrain myself from saying "where mexico" bc i doubt anyone will know I'm referencing this

picture i got at pride last week; here mexico

This is very dumb but hey

What if we had a plagiarism scandal here on tumblr, kinda annoyed at the youtubies having all the fun

you cant do this to my post

don’t talk to strangers on the internet because they’re great and hot and funny and live miles away and highlight the lack of people in your daily life that you can tolerate

the best thing about doctor who is you can just say Anything and its entirely plausible. the doctor is ruby's birth mother until further notice. just because.

Actually so fucking evil for Israel and credulous white radfems to be pushing the narrative of Palestinian men as a degenerate rapist horde violating pure zionist white women while carrying out a gendercide of Palestinian men in north Gaza. I hope everyone who bought into and spread it meets a slow and painful fucking end.

Stripping Palestinian men in front of their families and mass executing them is gendered and sexual violence by the way.

everyone on r/aita is doing polyamory so wrong and i think they could learn something from tommyinnit. I'm not going to say hes doing it any better but he is being really funny about it

i know nothing of the minecraft yters, could someone explain this?? Or is that like asking to explain all lotr lore?

Tommy, a straight man, legally married his gay best friend Tubbo for a video. A few months later, he reveals his girlfriend Molly.

A few months after that, Tubbo, while on Vegas, jokes that he wants to get married to his other friend there for funsies but then realized that he's still married to Tommy. This prompts him to try to get a divorce, but Tommy wouldn't let it happen.

In a desperate attempt to convince Tubbo to stay, Tommy writes a Wattpad fanfic of them being in love and Molly dying. You can read it here.

Tubbo struggles to continue the divorce because he wants to find a way to livestream it, and Tommy still continues to not budge about it because it's funny.

Tommy, in another desperate attempt to keep his marriage with tubbo, makes an "I'm just Ken" parody love song for him called "I'm Just Tom" which you could watch here:

Now, Tommy is in America for his live show and Tubbo is doing a subathon. In Tubbo's subathon, Molly makes guest appearances sometimes and she and Tubbo hang out. One time, Tubbo saw how bad Molly's phone is and so he bought her a new one.

Tommy makes a video saying he's getting insecure because of the phone gift and that although he likes that his girlfriend and husband are getting along, he worries if he's "being cucked" by his gay husband.

That's all I know so far as of March 26, 2024. The saga is still on going as of now.