feel like Jesus would be boring to talk to tbh. I’d be like “you like Nintendo?” and he’d go “I love bread with nothing on it”

me when somebody calls me cute: “Something becomes cute not necessarily because of a quality it has but because of a quality it lacks, a certain neediness and inability to stand alone, as if it were an indigent starveling, lonely and rejected because of a hideousness we find more touching than unsightly” (Harris 4).

annie: a demon was in my brother, it was in my daughter, and now its after my son 

joan: 

me being hoisted away via drone at a party because i said cock in a casual conversation

nfndfjjfnnfndnfdnnfndiajfngnfnvnfkd

I can’t breathe agshd

Really a moment none of us will ever forget

WWOJD (what would olivia jade do?)

Uber: “I’m in a blue Honda Civic.”

Me: “ok”

Me to me: “ok, we know what blue is”