Why Don't You Love ME?!
For years this man was obsessively in love with me. We worked together at a job I loved and so I stuck around and tried not to ruffle any feathers (as if any of the following was my fault) It began with him having what seemed to be a simple crush on me, which in turn I thought was sweet and I considered perhaps pursuing something with this man. I quickly told him I did not see things happening between us because it just wasn’t there for me and that he is a good friend of mine and that is all. I then left the country for some time and he was determined to come to me, to which I had to actually YELL that I did not want him near me, because it was starting to make me uncomfortable. He posted to Facebook about how now he couldn’t go travelling. (my fault of course) As I returned to the same job, we hadn’t spoken, yet he somehow figured that I suddenly loved him. At this job, I also worked with many of his family members whom I loved like my own, and so I tried to be civil towards him because otherwise he would be sad and the entire community would be angry with me. This went on for 4 consecutive years while at this job. Where rumours were constantly circulating that I was a whore and a b**** because I was “mean” to him and no one believed me because this guy put on such an AMAZING show to everyone else. Only showing this insane, emotionally abusive, controlling, unstable attitude to me. The last straw was when I had work to do at 2:30am and when I entered the room where I had to work, the light wouldn’t turn on. I heard someone in there and I KNEW it was him. So I ran in and screwed in the light bulb (he had unscrewed it) and told him that this was it, there would never be a time where I will be civil to him ever again. This man, consistently tried to get me to come to him after this. I was no longer at the job, and he would send me hateful messages saying how I had ruined his life, and that his family hates me too and how he will never be ok, trying to guilt me into speaking to him. Then the next day he would send a message saying he was sorry and he’ll never be the same and his family misses me (notice that this is all still my fault?) I ended up having to block his number, his Facebook, his instagram, his pinterest, any method of communication I had to block. I still have this fear when I go ANYWHERE that I will run into him, he knows where I live, which also makes me nervous, but is this life? Living in fear like this. I realized that even if you are being bullied and everything is made to be your fault it doesn’t matter. I was made to look like the “bad guy” for years, still am I think, but I’ve shut myself off to that. I carry pepperspray because I honestly just don’t know what could happen. How absolutely unnecessary is that?!
