kavirani reblogged
in my new programming language:
- whitespace--including line breaks and space characters--is forbidden
- arrays are indexed starting at -1. they still go up, btw. they just start at -1.
- multi-dimensional arrays are indexes boustrophedon-style. every other row is indexed in the opposite direction.
- to keep file sizes down, there are no comments
- not only do you need a header file for every class declaring variables and functions, you need a footer file with a statement explaining how this class complies with the Paperwork Reduction Act of 1995.
- to encourage concise code, variables are limited to two letters. the first letter determines the type, and the second letter must be unique. also, you are limited to 256 variables at one time, because nobody really needs more than that.
- the compiler will attempt to guess whether the value you have typed is decimal, hexidecimal, binary, etc. you may not provide any hints. it needs to do this on its own, for personal growth reasons.
- variables marked "readonly" cannot be changed later or removed, including in your IDE or text editor. doing so will cause the compiler to throw an error.
- the "constitutional" keyword means a value cannot be changed except by a vote of 2/3 of each house of congress and ratification by 3/4 of states. it is not available if your localization is set to use british english.
- all arithmetic operators use Reverse Polish Notation
- the % operator just multiplies a value by 0.01 like that button on a cheap calculator. why do they even have that button.
- the ** operator performs multiplication twice, just to be sure we got it right
- the / operator means "or," as in, the compiler will choose one of the two values on either side depending on how it feels that day.
- for actual division, you must physically place the numerator over the denominator with a line in between
- 7
- -- <- like this
- 10
- boolean comparison uses ====.
- the compiler has trouble remembering the difference between > and <, so it helps to put a comment in the line above reminding it that the little number wants to eat the bigger number. in france, these will be treated as quotation marks instead.
- introducing a new data type: in addition to pass by value (variable contains the actual data) or pass by reference (variable contains a pointer to the actual data), we now have pass by inference (variable contains a pointer to a memory address near the actual data).
- efforts to implement a pass by joint resolution data type have stalled out due to filibuster
- "dangerous" keyword, which is like the "unsafe" keyword except every time the program crashes you will be attacked by a bear
- end of line is marked with "U+2619_☙_REVERSED_ROTATED_FLORAL_HEART_BULLET". not the character, the whole string.
- instead of curly braces, code blocks are marked with italics, then bold, then bold italics, then bold italic underline. you cannot nest more than four blocks or the compiler will throw an error. also don't use the last one too much, the compiler doesn't like feeling yelled at.
