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@asaemonn / asaemonn.tumblr.com

🌸 | zośka | 25↑ | they/she | in my redemption arc | 🌸
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fremulon

forget Resting Bitch Face, I have Resting Competent Face. People see me and think ah yes she can point me to the nearest train station. Fellow grocery shoppers ask if I know what kind of butter they should buy. If a strange man speaks to me on the street it is literally always an inquiry and never a catcall. Once someone randomly asked me what an equinox was and after I told her she nodded and said "you seemed like you'd know." why am I assigned oracle at random interaction

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werewolftits

tiktok is such an awful app, it's almost designed to feed you misinformation and expose you to insane discourse. unlike beloved tumblr, the app that feeds me misinformation and exposes me to insane discourse

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lierdumoa

No, no, no, you see on tiktok an algorithm feeds you misinformation. On Tumblr I feed myself misinformation from my charcuterie board of hand-selected unhinged mutuals.

None of that mass market junk. Only artisanal, small batch, sustainably cultivated, fair trade horseshit.

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r0zeclawz

water is so so tasty and tastier than any of your foolish monster drinks this is true im sorry. this blog is sponsored by big water now

rest assured when i say big water i dont mean nestle or any company of the sort, i mean the looming ancient gods known as the "water towers"

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when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

i didn't need no imaginary friends i had Screaming Joe right here !

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omgeddon

I love this website I love it when people tell us what's wrong with them

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mulder and scully can’t drive. the amount of times i’ve seen them straight up drive over gutters and curbs, reverse on a literal highway, run stop signs, drive off the road, park with the back of the car sticking out or just totally diagonal. like, i know they’re busy fbi agents with places to be but c’mon. anyway it’s so funny to me

1996-1997 Ford Crown Victoria

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reblogged

so if you don’t know what shifting is, a quick explanation is that it’s the idea that the multiverse exists and that you can transport your soul into a multiverse where your favorite characters are real. It’s a whole thing and was hugely popular on TikTok in 2020+2021.

Anyway I am Not judging anyone or even about to comment on shifting in itself.

But there’s also a concept that you can “script” the universe you shift to and even pick your appearance while you’re there.

And in late 2021 I posted a cosplay video that got a fair amount of views and people kept tagging each other in the comments and saying stuff like “I’m faceclaiming her for next time I shift.”

Which I swear did not bother me I was like okay you funky kids.

But two people specifically started taking about using my face when they shift universes to date Draco Malfoy. And I was like man. Don’t use my face to kiss Draco Malfoy. Im begging you.

I didn’t actually say that in the comments mind you I just let them be.

So anyway a few months ago someone posted a video discussing that they were one of the main shifting influencers and they faked everything and they were just lucid dreaming the entire time. So as you can imagine, shifters were very upset to hear this

I made a single comment about this situation. Maybe two sentences. And people are. Very angry.

And now for months I keep getting comments on my TikToks that I’m too ugly to date Draco Malfoy. This is considered the ultimate insult to them, I believe.

“Trust me. Nobody wants that face dating Draco.”

They’re also mostly running K-Pop fancam accounts and I’m trying to figure out the Draco Malfoy K-Pop link but so far I’ve got nothing.

Idk where I’m going with this I just felt like other people should know that I’m currently K-Pop Draco Malfoy’s number 1 enemy.

Me too guys

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