folklore (2020)

If you remember everything, I wanted to say, and if you are really like me, then before you leave tomorrow, or when you’re just ready to shut the door of the taxi and have already said goodbye to everyone else and there’s not a thing left to say in this life, then, just this once, turn to me, even in jest, or as an afterthought, which would have meant everything to me when we were together, and, as you did back then, look me in the face, hold my gaze, and call me by your name.

Jonas Kahnwald ↳ Episode 9: ALLES IST JETZT

03/23/20 // ig

I’d hate elegant society; you’d hate my scribbling. We would be unhappy, and we’d wish we hadn’t done it, and everything would be horrid.          LITTLE WOMEN (2019) DIR. GRETA GERWIG

the way you move is like a full on rain storm!

@taylorswift @taylornation

Hi Taylor! My name is Haley and I have been a fan of yours since 2006. I know everyone says that, but it’s true! I was 12 then and I remember hearing Tim McGraw on a friend’s MySpace (throwback) and loving it so much I had to go to this Taylor Swift girl’s page and learn more about her. Then when I got my allowance, I went to Target and spent all of it on your debut album.

For the next two years I was what you would call a casual fan. I loved you to death but I wasn’t at the level of obsessed I am now. All that changed on October 11, 2008. That was the first time I saw you in concert. You were opening for Rascal Flatts and I was so excited to see you. Just a month earlier, I had been diagnosed with depression. I was going through a lot. I had just gotten out of an inpatient program in the hospital for a suicide attempt. I was only 14. When I was discharged from the hospital, I wasn’t ready to go back to school yet so I was put in an outpatient program with other teens who were struggling. I really was not in a good place. But then my dad came home one day and told me he got the tickets through work and I was truly happy for the first time in a while.

So, the concert was going along like normal. I was dancing and having so much fun. We were pretty close and you kept walking by our section during Love Story and I was freaking out. Then, you introduced a new song called Change which I hadn’t heard yet. And the minute you sang the words “these things will change, can you feel it now? These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down” I started sobbing into my dad’s shoulder. It was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. Even though I was just at the beginning of this scary journey, you singing those words gave me hope that someday, whenever it may be, things will change. They will get better. I knew in that moment I would love you endlessly forever. And it also was the first time something happened that has been a trend in my love for you. (That was worded weirdly but just trust me!!)

The trend is that you are always there for me when I need you. Whenever something horrible happens in my life, you somehow show up whether it be through a concert, a new single, a music video, or even just posting something on social media.

On October 5, 2015 my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I didn’t know it was cancer until she came home from the hospital on the 7th. My dad kept the diagnoses from me until she came home because he didn’t want me to worry. But of course I did. I broke down. And one thought I had was “how am I going to enjoy my 1989 show when I just found out my world is ending?” My show was the 9th. I didn’t know if I would still be able to go, but my mom told me I had to. For her. She would be sad if I didn’t go and enjoy myself and didn’t want me to worry about her. (Notice a trend with my parents? I love them.) So I went and I had so much fun. I screamed along to the words, I danced and cried and enjoyed myself for my mom. And for me, obviously, and you, but mostly her.

I was hoping to meet you that night. I didn’t. But I did get to hug your mama and get rejected for a high five from your dad which still cracks me up to this day. Anyway, I was devastated and thought my chance to meet you was over. But something I’ve seen people in the fandom say is “you’ll meet Taylor when you need it most” and maybe that’s true.

My mom died on August 10, 2017. My dad came and woke me up the morning of the 6th and told me that I need to come upstairs now because he thought the end was coming. All of my siblings were over and so were my mom’s sisters. We met with hospice and made funeral plans. On the morning of the 10th I got a knock on my bedroom door and I just knew. My heart sank. It was my dad and sister and my dad just said “Mama’s gone” and then we all huddled together and sobbed.

I really thought I would never be happy again. My mom was (is) my best friend. What was I going to do? The visitation, funeral and burial all went by in a blur. I honestly don’t remember most of that week. It helped to have family around so often. But once they left and life went back to normal, I had never felt more alone. I had great support from my friends who I’ve met thanks to you, but life still sucked, for lack of a better word.

Then that trend I talked about earlier comes into play yet again! You announced the release date for Reputation and released LWYMMD. I was like, “is Taylor psychic? How does she always come through when I need her the most?” The tour dates came out and you weren’t coming to Omaha. I freaked out because I thought I wasn’t gonna get to see you and I had gone to every tour. But thankfully fate stepped in and I will be seeing you on September 8 in Kansas City!! I am so excited. I will be going with one of my best friends Lauren and sitting in section A, row 13, seats 14-15!!!

I have been rambling for so long now, but I just wanted to tell you thank you so much for everything. I hope I can hug you in September and tell you that in person.

💜 Haley

@taylorswift @taylornation

@taylorswift @taylornation

Hi Taylor! My name is Haley and I have been a fan of yours since 2006. I know everyone says that, but it’s true! I was 12 then and I remember hearing Tim McGraw on a friend’s MySpace (throwback) and loving it so much I had to go to this Taylor Swift girl’s page and learn more about her. Then when I got my allowance, I went to Target and spent all of it on your debut album.

For the next two years I was what you would call a casual fan. I loved you to death but I wasn’t at the level of obsessed I am now. All that changed on October 11, 2008. That was the first time I saw you in concert. You were opening for Rascal Flatts and I was so excited to see you. Just a month earlier, I had been diagnosed with depression. I was going through a lot. I had just gotten out of an inpatient program in the hospital for a suicide attempt. I was only 14. When I was discharged from the hospital, I wasn’t ready to go back to school yet so I was put in an outpatient program with other teens who were struggling. I really was not in a good place. But then my dad came home one day and told me he got the tickets through work and I was truly happy for the first time in a while.

So, the concert was going along like normal. I was dancing and having so much fun. We were pretty close and you kept walking by our section during Love Story and I was freaking out. Then, you introduced a new song called Change which I hadn’t heard yet. And the minute you sang the words “these things will change, can you feel it now? These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down” I started sobbing into my dad’s shoulder. It was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. Even though I was just at the beginning of this scary journey, you singing those words gave me hope that someday, whenever it may be, things will change. They will get better. I knew in that moment I would love you endlessly forever. And it also was the first time something happened that has been a trend in my love for you. (That was worded weirdly but just trust me!!)

The trend is that you are always there for me when I need you. Whenever something horrible happens in my life, you somehow show up whether it be through a concert, a new single, a music video, or even just posting something on social media.

On October 5, 2015 my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I didn’t know it was cancer until she came home from the hospital on the 7th. My dad kept the diagnoses from me until she came home because he didn’t want me to worry. But of course I did. I broke down. And one thought I had was “how am I going to enjoy my 1989 show when I just found out my world is ending?” My show was the 9th. I didn’t know if I would still be able to go, but my mom told me I had to. For her. She would be sad if I didn’t go and enjoy myself and didn’t want me to worry about her. (Notice a trend with my parents? I love them.) So I went and I had so much fun. I screamed along to the words, I danced and cried and enjoyed myself for my mom. And for me, obviously, and you, but mostly her.

I was hoping to meet you that night. I didn’t. But I did get to hug your mama and get rejected for a high five from your dad which still cracks me up to this day. Anyway, I was devastated and thought my chance to meet you was over. But something I’ve seen people in the fandom say is “you’ll meet Taylor when you need it most” and maybe that’s true.

My mom died on August 10, 2017. My dad came and woke me up the morning of the 6th and told me that I need to come upstairs now because he thought the end was coming. All of my siblings were over and so were my mom’s sisters. We met with hospice and made funeral plans. On the morning of the 10th I got a knock on my bedroom door and I just knew. My heart sank. It was my dad and sister and my dad just said “Mama’s gone” and then we all huddled together and sobbed.

I really thought I would never be happy again. My mom was (is) my best friend. What was I going to do? The visitation, funeral and burial all went by in a blur. I honestly don’t remember most of that week. It helped to have family around so often. But once they left and life went back to normal, I had never felt more alone. I had great support from my friends who I’ve met thanks to you, but life still sucked, for lack of a better word.

Then that trend I talked about earlier comes into play yet again! You announced the release date for Reputation and released LWYMMD. I was like, “is Taylor psychic? How does she always come through when I need her the most?” The tour dates came out and you weren’t coming to Omaha. I freaked out because I thought I wasn’t gonna get to see you and I had gone to every tour. But thankfully fate stepped in and I will be seeing you on September 8 in Kansas City!! I am so excited. I will be going with one of my best friends Lauren and sitting in section A, row 13, seats 14-15!!!

I have been rambling for so long now, but I just wanted to tell you thank you so much for everything. I hope I can hug you in September and tell you that in person.

💜 Haley

@taylorswift @taylornation