Helen Arlet rambles on about something random
I went grocery shopping today and somehow found myself in the cereal isle. I don’t really eat cereal that much anymore, but I guess I haven’t had any in a while and my brain was like, the is how you use up the milk so you don’t have to throw half the jug out every time. Well while I was there I saw two things that stood out.
So naturally I sent pictures to Violet, hoping she would stop me from impulse buying, and instead she told me to get all of it… I managed to limit myself to two boxes though.
My first thoughts are that these are the first female cereal mascots I have ever seen. Violet quickly reminded me of the Corn Flakes girl, but who remembers her?
I sure don’t remember her and I’m looking at unicorns now. Let’s talk about unicorns.
The next thing I notice is that neither of these new unicorns have names. Cereal mascots need names. Why do the first female cereal mascots in over a decade not have names? That’s unfortunate…
Comparing the two, the Lucky Charms unicorn seems to look a lot better than the Kellogg’s unicorn. She has this whole almost Princess Celestia thing going on while the Kellogg’s unicorn looks a little like discarded box art from a G1 MLP doll. (Gasp! Helen Arlet knows My Little Pony!)
But despite the fact that General Mills put more work into their unicorn, she isn’t the face of the cereal. She’s just their new marshmallow shape (replacing the hourglass, which is being retired) and is only on the box playing second fiddle to Lucky while they promote the new marshmallow. I doubt she will stay on the front of the box after that. While the Kellogg’s unicorn is the actual mascot of Unicorn Cereal and takes front and center on her box. But this doesn’t mean much because if you notice, Unicorn Cereal is a limited time only product. So what this means is while we finally have some girls in the cereal crew, neither of them were named and we probably won’t be seeing either of them again after a few months.
Lame…
But now let’s move on to the actual boxes. Even if General Mills has the better character design there is nothing on the back or sides of the box. Just a big ad for Fight Hunger. Which is a good cause, but nothing for me to look at while I eat my cereal. Kellogg’s on the other hand has a very fun box. On the side we have a What’s your unicorn name game.
Mine is Glimmer Glitter Blossom. Too bad I wasn’t born in December. Glimmer Frost Fire sounds like an awesome unicorn name.
Then on the back of the box we have a nice coloring page.
Very cool, and I will say that our unicorn, who I have now decided to name Glimmer Frost Fire, does actually look a bit better in this picture than she does on the front of the box.
So Lucky Charms wins for character design, but Unicorn Cereal wins for better box. That’s one point each. Now for the deciding round. What cereal tastes better?
I just did a taste test and the Lucky Charms tastes exactly like Lucky Charms and the unicorn marshmallows taste just like every other marshmallow in the box. No surprise there. The new marshmallows to liven up the appearance of the cereal and make it more interesting to look at, but it still tastes just like every other bowl of Lucky Charms I’ve ever eaten.
Unicorn Cereal on the other hand is a very different experience. The moment I opened the bag I was hit with the overwhelming smell of artificial cupcakes. This is exactly what I expect cereal made by unicorns to smell like. And trust me it’s strong. But not unpleasant. Given the smell, I expected the cereal itself to be cupcake flavored, but I don’t know if I would actually call it that. If it is, it’s a very subdued cupcake flavor. I would more accurately describe it as tasting like Fruit Loops but without the fruit and less sweet. Which for me is perfect because I hate Fruit Loops. I guess you could call these “Vaguely Tastes Like Cake Batter Loops”. That’s about right. And frankly, I like them. Now I’m pissed off this is a limited time only thing because I could see myself eating Unicorn Cereal every morning.
So I’m going to give the point for tastes to Unicorn Cereal, and that makes it our winner. The Lucky Charms unicorn is very pretty but that’s about all she’s got going for her. She’s just all flash and no substance. The Unicorn Cereal unicorn may not be much of a looker, but she’s fun, has personality, and better tastes (in cereal).
In other words, the Lucky Charms unicorn is the porn star you watch online, but the Unicorn Cereal unicorn is the girl you actually want to date and fall in love with.
