there's always a .c h o i c e.

Once tumblr lets me have it, I’ll be getting littlewxtch back. 

• “Betrayed by my own butt yet again.”
• “Can you explain memes to me?”
• “Contrary to popular belief, penguins are… birds.”
• “Did you think I was gonna stab you just now?”
• “Don’t cry. Don’t cry. I swear to god if you cry again.”
• “Don’t write checks your dick can’t cash.”
• “Here’s to bad decisions and relaxed moral values.”
• “How’s the…… jeeeeeeeeeesus?”
• “I am a happy little cheese monster.”
• “I am spinning a web of lies that I fear will one day consume me.”
• “I don’t want your stupid fruit leather.”
• “I have to get a solid two to three hours of brooding in per day. Filling quotas.”
• “It’s called ‘string cheese’ and not ‘chompy cheese’ for a reason.”
• “I’ll probably end up standing uncomfortably in the corner with a plate of food and hope that nobody talks to me.”
• “I’m so many levels of irony deep I’ve forgotten what humour is.”
• “I’m suddenly struck with the overwhelming need to crawl back into bed.”
• “Mothman is bullshit.”
• “My ultimate sexual fantasy is sleeping in on a Saturday.”
• “OH SHIT THAT’S A KNIFE.”
• “See you in class… bitch.”
• “Sharks are tight.”
• “So, you ever kill a man?”
• “Stop being so desperate to please your hot friend.”
• “That… that is a good butt.”
• “The key to being cool is acting like you don’t care about anything but actually care very deeply about everything to the point where it’s debilitating.”
• “This ice cream cake is my new boyfriend.”
• “This is where I come to masturbate.”
• “Wait, I’m a wreck.”
• “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.”
• “You can never be too careful. See that baby in that stroller over there? Government operative.”
• “Your face… is… good.”
• “Your unending thirst will be your ultimate downfall.”

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ BORDERLINE / SEASON ONE always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

• “Stop first, ask questions later.”
• “What qualifies as out of the ordinary?”
• “When I was in school I did a test and this is the job they said I should do.”
• “Drugs!”
• “That’s terrible, but it’s a step in the right direction.”
• “I found three grams of cocaine in him.”
• “So this is like, a real thing?”
• “I’ve been arrested a few times.”
• “I’m looking a wee bit silly.”
• “I don’t hate it. If liking it is hating it here..”
• “Oh, god, I’m going to have to be so truthful.”
• “Just so everyone knows: this job is shit.”
• “Could you please remove your shirt?”
• “I just need this entire room to start taking me seriously.”
• “People deal with stress in different ways. I make inflatable hands.”
• “Education and wealth I take for granted.”
• “The police are here and you’re going to jail.”
• “I’m going to hang out with some hobbits.”
• “Let’s move on, start afresh tomorrow, and pretend today never happened.”
• “Does that sound too hard? Is supporting your partner too boring? Sounds pretty simple to me.”
• “That’s what marriage is. It’s a mutual contract between two adults who care about each other and support each other.”
• “He decided to quit his job because it was too boring. Apparently, jobs can’t be boring and have to be fun all the time.”
• “Look at me, I’m having the time of my life.”
• “I had half a bottle of jaeger.”
• “I don’t need a fake ID because I’m a grown-up.”
• “You’re a grown-up that still drinks jaeger.”
• “Just because I don’t go out drinking every night doesn’t mean I’m not fun.”
• “You’re having fun, right? This is fun?”
• “I feel like I’m quite good at keeping people calm.”
• “He put his dick in her drink and then she drank it.”
• “Put the dicks on your head.”
• “I’ll prove you wrong by putting these glittery dicks on my head.”
• “All tea in Ukraine is made from potatoes.”
• “No, that just sounded racist.”
• “We’re talking about biscuits, not bloody crack cocaine.”
• “He’s like a scared seal trying to get on top of a rock before a killer whale eats him.”
• “I love these deep and meaningful conversations we have.”
• “How do you know you’re not going to be sad all your life? Because one day you die.”
• “Nobody’s ever asked me for my number before.”
• “What Spice Girl do you like most?”
• “Firstly, I didn’t realize what that was was flirting.”
• “Next time I get invited to something I’d normally say no to, I’ll say yes.”
• “Let me put you out of your misery.”
• “I ordered a martini and it came with a straw.”
• “She called me a bear, but in a sexual way.”
• “I’ve just had tons of sex with this hot policeman.”
• “I don’t know half the people that work here, ‘cause I just think about myself half the time.”
• “I don’t think we’re supposed to be drinking at work.”
• “Where I come from, when a man dies, the first thing you do is take a drink.”
• “It’s funny when somebody dies and it unsettles everybody.”
• “What would happen if I drop dead right now?”
• “I pride myself on being a good person.”
• “We should not be laughing at this.”
• “You mean the pervy old man who used to wink at me all the time?”
• “At first I thought they were cupcakes, but it turns out –– just a pair of tits.”
• “I’m gonna kiss so many ladies.”
• “There’s a lot more to it than just kissing ladies.”
• “I don’t know why I said that.”
• “The brush is next to the toilet for a reason.”
• “I don’t care about your mother. She’s not the bloody queen.”
• “I’m too old to be invited.”
• “Swiss is not a language.”
• “I had to leave before I was murdered.”
• “I’m going to end up completely naked in a pool of other people’s piss.”
• “You get a lot more detail in the books.”
• “Now that you’re ugly, maybe you’ll make some friends.”
• “I should stop making jokes in these situations.”
• “There’s the drawer full of alcohol in your office.”
• “Sometimes things are hard, and tricky. But you can change lives by working together and making each other feel like human beings.”
• “I’m going to get more likes on Instagram.”
• “Effective communication is easy. Turns out, you just make eye contact when you talk.”
• “I see myself as a bridge between two previously warring nations.”
• “People have photoshopped you to look like loads of people.”
• “Your picture has been tweeted by Nigel Farage and Jeremy Clarkson.”
• “I think of accordions and three-legged dogs.”
• “I tried to call twitter. Turns out they don’t have a phone.”
• “You do your job poorly, someone hates you. You do your job well, someone hates you. Either way, someone always hates you.”
• “You’re a funny bugger, but a kind one.”
• “Anthrax just makes the flowers last longer.”