99% of my socks are single u don’t see them crying about it
Things I Should Be Doing
Things I Am Not Currently Doing
you can’t spell thug without hug
if you google eyebrows are you eyebrowsing
one of the worst moments in life is probably when you’re in a room full of people and you look around and see them all talking and laughing and all of sudden you feel so sad and lonely that you can even feel a physical pain in your chest because you realize that they all belong to someone and they all have someone who belongs to them and you don’t, you’re just kind of there
this hit me like a fucking truck
men wanna be so salty about pushup bras and how it’s “deceitful” but then brag about their 8 inch dick when in reality its much smaller. like at least we can make our boobs actually LOOK bigger yall just be blatantly lying about your fuckin tic tac dick
THE LITTLE KID NEXT DOOR JSUT OPENED HIS WINDOW AND YELLED “WHAT IS 27 PLUS 4” AND I YELLED “IT’S 31” AND HE SAID “THANK YOU GOD LADY” IM LAUGIHNG
only people that i like can touch my hair
[drags hands down face]
I want to learn all the languages
The hoe that did it squad:
* aries, capricorn, taurus, aquarius, leo, scorpio
The oh my god squad:
*cancer, gemini, virgo, libra, sagittarius, pisces
the professor arrived for class 5 minutes ago, and has said nothing. we’re just sitting here as he eats a sandwich and looks at his papers.
UPDATE: HE WAS NOT THE PROFESSOR THE ACTUAL PROFESSOR WALKED IN, LOOKED AT HIM, SAID “Can I help you?” AND THE GUY JUST GOT UP AND LEFT
College sounds like a train wreck tbh
31 years ago today, the Breakfast Club met for detention.
Dude
People become attractive over time as you get to know them. Someone who you once felt completely neutral towards can make your stomach do somersaults. It’s not that they were not good looking to begin with, it’s just that things happened which made your conscience ease up and your heart changed. Good character can contribute to how someone perceives you.
WHAT THE FUCK I WAS FREAKING OUT STOP THIS
oh Dan your vocabulary amazes me
and yet we call him the human embodiment of winnie the pooh
