When you work in schools, you have to stuff all the pre wedding activities during spring break lol
It might be because my period is coming, but wedding prep is starting to get stressful and it’s not for the reason I thought. My bachelorette and bridal shower planning have started. I didn’t know much about the financial responsibilities of these things. I didn’t realize that majority of the time, your bridesmaids pay or help pay for these and as bride you don’t. I’m still going to offer to pitch in. But it makes me feel guilty. And it’s not like I’m not paying for things for them. But there’s something about other people spending over $80 on me that makes me feel so guilty. Even though I know it’s not like they’re being coerced into it, they’re doing it because they love me and want to celebrate me being a bride. But it makes me feel like a bridezilla even though I know logically I’m not. I feel like I’m not covering enough or not doing enough. I just see so many people who complain on TikTok saying that oh if brides ask people to be their bridesmaids the bride should cover the cost of everything except for the bachelorette. And I feel guilty because I’m having them pay for their dresses, but I’m using a reasonably priced website and they can choose their style. But they can use any shoes they have and any jewelry. But I see these post about people complaining that wedding couples are too selfish nowadays and I’m trying hard not to be. Even though logically I know I’m nowhere near what people are complaining about.
Holy shit it’s hitting me I’m getting married this year. I officially have my dress. I’ve done my makeup trial. We’re doing precana this month. We’ve picked out our invitations.
James and I had our first wedding meeting with our priest. I was nervous because we already live together, but it went so much better than expected. No big fuss that we’re already living together. Also the priest is Irish but he is also familiar with Filipino wedding traditions. Even having to fill out this wedding inventory didn’t feel so bad. I was nervous that James and I would have a lot of opposite answers, but it just made me so much more confident about marrying him. Because we’ve already talked a lot about things like finances, kids, and etc, so there weren’t really any questions where I was like “I don’t know” because we want to go in the same way for our future. It just makes me really excited to be married to him.
Love Story (McMahon Version)
I’m not sure why I’m so nervous about my trip the Philippines. It’s this thing that has been built up my whole life. I’m excited to see the place where my parents grew up and my homeland. But I’m also nervous because I’m clearly very American and my fiancé is white. I just know that sometimes people can be very vocally judgmental. There’s the idea that when you marry someone white, that you’re just marrying them for money. When in reality James and I literally grew up in very similar backgrounds, which is why we get along so well and love each other and honestly don’t get sick of each other. James has a better “who gives a shit what people think” attitude, but I’m such a people pleaser, even if it’s like some stranger I’m passing on the street. I was trying to look up places to visit for the week when it’s just James and me and I came upon this TikTok of someone saying they just wanted to end their vacation early because people would give her and her white boyfriend dirty looks or would just blatantly stare at them. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable or unwelcome in the place my family came from and I don’t want my fiancé to feel that way. Even with the clothes I’m packing, I’m nervous about like what if it’s too nice and people judge me for that or it’s like too comfortable looking and they judge me for not looking nice. This is literally what I’m working on in therapy, to not have other people’s opinions weigh more than mine, but it’s so hard.
Hearing Patrick Stump and Hayley Williams each feature on Taylor Swift songs makes me so emotional. Obviously Paramore were very important to me in my formative years, but so were Taylor and Fall Out Boy. I remember turning to Take This to Your Grave on hard days in college. When I was going through relationship problems or break ups, Red was what I turned to. When I felt misunderstood, I would put on Brand New Eyes. Each artist’s lyrics have been so influential on me. I don’t know, it’s just so beautiful to be able to grow up with certain artists. Because I’m close in age to Hayley and Taylor, so each chapter of their lives relates to mine. I’m so glad to have been able to grow up with these musicians
Next year on this exact day I’ll be getting married! We’re officially a year out
I made this post 4 years ago and now we’re getting married next year lol
Given recent events, is it awkward if I still want to walk down the aisle to Invisible String? Lol
Lol my only coping mechanism for dealing with work is wedding planning. This work week has been a million different fires happening at once, but we also officially booked our venue and have a wedding date now so there’s a bright spot in my week
But I also want to go home and start spring break now lol