'Cause I'm Mr.Brightside

Mondays are the worst

Adult: “Okay, go use the bathroom and go pee before we hike!”

Child, extremely loudly and clearly: “Mom, I don’t need to pee. I need to defecate.”

hi I’m sorry but what the fuck

My parents didn’t want us to say “fart” either and made up the word “lollipoo” and my older sibling thought it was a real word until college

this is the worst thing I’ve ever heard

#there was this one mother #who didnt want to use the word no around her child #because its too negative or something #so instead she said octopus #whenever she meant no

So when I first started dating my now wife, we were having Christmas Eve dinner. I somehow said “fart” and her grandmother gasped at me very loudly and said “WE DO NOT SAY THE F WORD IN THIS HOUSE” I looked at my wife very confused and worried I said fuck. She then informed me we aren’t allowed to say fart.

Ive been up since 4 with rylee. Left for work at 7. Worked till 8. Got home at 8:30. It is now 10:10 and I’m still trying to get Ryle to sleep. I haven’t ate dinner or had a drink since before I left work.

Finally got her to sleep at 10:50. Glad I made egg salad yesterday. Going to eat that and drink a beer or two and pray that Rylee stays asleep.

Well we got till 2:30. She was asleep again I tried to get out and she started to cry again.

Ive been up since 4 with rylee. Left for work at 7. Worked till 8. Got home at 8:30. It is now 10:10 and I’m still trying to get Ryle to sleep. I haven’t ate dinner or had a drink since before I left work.

Finally got her to sleep at 10:50. Glad I made egg salad yesterday. Going to eat that and drink a beer or two and pray that Rylee stays asleep.

Happy Labor Day. Today I learned about probably the first strike to happen IN SPACE.

Good stuff