tell me again what you dreamed I would be ..

from weheartit

It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips

im laughign remember when i made this post

parent(s) on dr. phil: my child is a mess!! please fix them!!

dr. phil: well did you raise/parent them lovingly and give them proper attention and spend time with them and care for their needs and get them the help they need and not spoil them out of guilt?

parent(s): no,,,,, but they’re out of control!!! I don’t know what to do!!!!!

dr. phil:

The struggle was real.

They will never fucking know!

I swear. But I could still send a 2 paragraph text in 30seconds.

Bottom right

#hero

this sounds like shit and it’s only a gif

your little sister is a serial killer

early 2000′s self-care

dark duolingo show me the forbidden bonus skills

me after finishing a movie: wow that was rly good!! im amazed

movie critics: trashiest movie ever created; possibly the worst movie of the year; complete disgrace

alternatively

movie critics: best movie of the year. revolutionary. it’s a cinematic masterpiece

me: what the actual fuck did I just watch

You’re not asking for too much you’re just asking the wrong person

why did it take me so long to realize?

me vague posting on Facebook when my friends and family won’t give me a $1500 cash gift for my wedding

the more I think about my past self the more I