@itsbenedict on Tumblr

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out.

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

#important wisdom that bears repeating

itsbenedict reblogged

shieldfoss

#music #oh this fucks‚ thanks

itsbenedict reblogged

helltopian-torturescape

edenartfactory

A lighthouse and a warning, all at once.

A lighthouse monster, to greet all the ships at sea!

#okay this is cool but also like #just a TERRIBLE strategy for an anglerfish #that's specifically what the boats try to stay away from buddy #all you're gonna get is moths #...wonder if that wasn't originally there #like some enterprising lighthouse-keeper decided to build one on the giant indestructible sea monster that kept eating boats #like a bell on a cat #it's tough work but somebody's gotta do it!!!

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michaelblume

leoreturns.tumblr.com

I have been waiting all year to post this.

tumboner

omg

merspers

This has been in my queue for months.

mcgooglykins

I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

YES

omg i didnt reblog this last year!

dduane

The Day is here. :)

#can confirm #was outside in rhode island today and it's quite nice #thanks miss rhode island

itsbenedict reblogged

son1c

i just found out tumblr was storing over three GIGABYTES of cookies on my device without me knowing and that's why it's been running so fucking slow recently... incredible. anyways everyone go clear your fucking cookies. don't let this website run a goddamn video game's worth of disc space in the background for no good reason.

son1c

on firefox: settings → search "cookies" → scroll down → "manage cookies" → tumblr should be at the very top because of how much space it's taking → select it → clear cookies → save changes. done

the-real-seebs

i've had a problem for a week or two where tumblr would just hang for like 20 seconds on load and profiles looked like it was reading a database. went and checked. 2.4GB of cookies. you are correct. good job. holy shit what is wrong with this website.

phantomrose96

Bruh.

raginrayguns

I deleted 844 megabytes of tumblr cookies and now the dashboard doesn't make my computer's fan turn on

#god damn yeah #what're you guys doing in there???#is that where uploaded images go before you hit post or something

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neorice

One of the protagonists of my webcomic Hero oh Hero. I've been updating nearly every day for a good 10 years, so if you enjoy webcomics with a consistent update rate & a good backlog of content enjoy, check it out @ https://www.neorice.com/hoh_1 Thanks so much if you decide to read!

#[bernie sanders meme] i am once again asking you to [read Hero oh Hero]#always a really good page for introducing Burk there #hero oh hero

itsbenedict reblogged

itsbenedict

flabbergasted by the 18.4% of you who have apparently read all the The Light Marathon books, considering it is a franchise that does not exist except as a background detail in Cordyceps TCFTOG.

not that there isn't a right answer! this is a post that Gavin Batra would have made, and so in-universe would have an actual truth value. here's all the wrong answers:

Zack Mainframe used to work for Dunkin, sure. That part is kind of a small background detail and otherwise he's a hotshot cyberpunk hacker space pilot protagonist guy who you might expect to blow up supercomputer gods. Not surprising nobody picked that.
One of the more mundane things the protagonist's tsundere cyborg love interest might do. Also unsurprising it's real.
Zack's ship totally does have an engine malfunction due to forgetting to feed the cat, because you shouldn't let an animal whose response to hunger is "destroy something to get the human's attention" into your engine room.
The Plausibilist conspiracy can't agree on whether feeding false information to Perfect Minds to force it to reason in probabilities would make it weaker or stronger, and since the author doesn't know any statistics they are incapable of discussing this question in terms that make any sense.
I don't know what character the robot-twist one would be about, but I have to assume most of the cast of this cyberpunk space thriller series gets one or two of them. This one's probably a product of the author changing his mind a bunch of times.
The plot has a lot to do with incontrovertible prophecies from hyperintelligent supercomputers, and the one that kicks off the main plot has to do with the timing of the arrival of a spaceship that happens to be mainly carrying cottage cheese.
The author is under various misapprehensions about what "electricity" is all about, and assumes that electrical impulses in the nervous system are basically the same thing as current flowing through wires, so if you Know Some Hacker Tricks you can just jam wires into your body to control electronics. That's how it works, right?
The entity legally known as "the planet Jupiter" is a hivemind of mining drones that inhabits the entire planet, and is currently under house arrest for a laundry list of hacking crimes up to and including hentai piracy. House arrest doesn't mean a whole lot when you are a planet, since those are stuck in orbits, but what else is the law going to do about a living planet?
The president thing is a deliberately mundane gloss on "the Plausibilist conspiracy uses one dive bar regular's drunken ramblings as a neutral source of unreliable information to train a competing god-AI that reasons under uncertainty, in a very technical sense "controlling" the Imperfect Mind that's president of an evil corporation".
The author loves to write about computers without unnecessarily constraining himself by learning a single fucking thing about computers, so this happens loads of times. These supercomputers can process megabytes of information every day! (It's not like it was written decades ago, either- he just has no excuse.)

The black holes one is fake. Light Marathon is more cyberpunk than, like, cosmic alien sci-fi where weird shit happens to black holes. The whole premise is that there is no magic convenient FTL tech and the space colonies are all administered by Perfect Minds that sync up to coordinate transit and communication delays via perfect analyze-the-shit-out-of-a-deterministic-universe prophecies. Y'know, the ones that involve entire megabytes of surveillance data.

#congratulations to all three of you who got it right #cordyceps tcftog #nightpool has made me aware that the ''unreality cw'' on the OP may not have made it obvious enough #on account of the whole premise of these types of posts is that one of the options is made up #apologies to anyone bamboozled. please understand that it was extremely funny that this happened to you though.

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lumsel

absentlyabbie

no multi option, agonize and choose, no results option, pick one to find out or scroll onward

absentlyabbie

the number of y'all in the notes mentioning how good the choices are/how hard it is to choose got me preening like "i am going to get a good grade in neurodivergent/disabled, a thing that is both normal to want and possible to achieve 😌"

katy-l-wood

I liked a lot of the others, but as soon as I saw the brush/comb that was an instant yes. Curly hair is so fucking hard to maintain. One of my hardest self-care tasks, honestly, especially since I prefer to keep it long.

#reblogging this mainly because i'm impressed by how there's not an obviously exploitable superpower one in here #the closest thing is the hot plate i think because hey that's free heat #mug also exploitable as like a waterwheel power source but like #i already have multiple devices in my house that dispense as much water as i want on demand #you'd need more exotic beverage tastes to get much out of that #anyway i take plate because it cuts down on the heating bill a bit AND means i don't feel pressure to finish eating whole pizzas #it specifies fresh! i can just leave it out!

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mistytpednaem

doyoulikethissong-poll

✨ Please reblog the polls to make them reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update! ✨

#technically i've never listened to this original version of the song #but i like it in ''Sucker'' Is A New And Original Song Which Doesn't Plagiarize At All #and Smooth Flow and Smooth from nielcic's Mouth albums #music

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theinsidiousdice

justanotherhomelessromantic

In another universe, Sam Reich is part of Batman's rogues' gallery.

resumbrarum

INT: The BAT-CAVE, specifically a 3/4 shot of the BAT-COMPUTER, showing nearly the whole thing. The usual gloom and vague shapes loom behind it. The metal floor of the Bat-Cave is visible in the mid- and foreground.

Panels 1 and 6 are wide shots; panels 2-4 are smaller and closer.

PANEL 1: BATMAN sits at the Bat-Computer, frowning at its various displays and readouts. One hand is on the console, but doesn't seem to be doing anything.

ROBIN (off-panel): What's up? You look ... as brooding as usual.

PANEL 2: ROBIN has joined Batman in the panel. Batman looks up, but not at Robin; his attention is on a different display.

BATMAN: A rash of kidnappings across the city. Victims report being placed on a stage and required to perform inane tasks.

ROBIN: Riddler? Cluemaster? You JUST put Joker in Arkham...

PANEL 3: Batman has moved his attention to yet another display. Robin is now leaning on the back of the BAT-CHAIR, looking at the screens as well.

BATMAN: That's what I thought at first. But they're all surviving, even if they do badly. He just seems to want to play games with them.

ROBIN: What's the game?

BATMAN: It's a different game every time. None of the victims reported being asked to do the same things. It never repeats - except once.

PANEL 4: Robin looks down at Batman, who's still studying the screens.

ROBIN: Once?

BATMAN: One of the victims was kidnapped twice and asked to play the same game both times.

ROBIN: So he's tying the game to the victim --

BATMAN: No. Whoever this is, he's targeted a few of the victims more than once. But the game only repeated once.

PANEL 5: Closer again. Batman looks up at Robin, finally.

BATMAN: Other than that, there's no pattern. No commonality. Even the place where he takes them changes with every kidnapping. I can't find a way to pin him down, find out where he is.

OFF-PANEL: Oh, Batman. You didn't have to look that hard!

PANEL 6: Back to the wide shot. Batman and Robin are startled as a figure, still mostly cloaked in shadow, emerges from the gloom behind the Bat-Computer: a relatively (to Batman) short, grinning man in a plaid suit, with a thin, telescoping cane with a ball grip that gets wider toward the base.

THE GAME-CHANGER: After all, I've been here THE WHOLE TIME.

#samuel DALTON reich!

itsbenedict reblogged

itsbenedict

Anonymous asked:

Make your own poll but turn off reblogs, then all the votes are from your followers to you and you don't spread it further?

itsbenedict answered:

i mean i'm not that dedicated to not spreading the meme. hats poll is basically harmless, like how fruit species spread themselves by being eaten by predators. i vaguely resent being manipulated by an unthinking plant, but that doesn't make it not tasty.

itsbenedict

#cancelled #deathtoapples #but no yes it is an unendorsed reaction

itsbenedict

Anonymous asked:

Make your own poll but turn off reblogs, then all the votes are from your followers to you and you don't spread it further?

#maybe it is weird and not normal to resent fruit???

itsbenedict

those "do x to prev" polls are a little silly though. like, it's not like voting in the poll in any way communicates your choice to prev! you have to reblog the post to engage with the funny little game, which makes the "poll" totally redundant. once again i am forced to act as the reproductive host of a chain letter in order to connect with friends online!!!