suck it, trebec.

Today I was rehearsing with the guitarist from the show I’m doing and I was coughing up a lung bc I’m sick and I was just kidding but I told him he needed to bring me a lemon for me to slice up and put in a cup of tea and so I show up to the show tonight to get ready and he sets down a big ass lemon on my dressing room table and then brings out like 5 boxes of Halloween Oreos and for those of you who pay attention to my posts you know what a big fucking deal that is and so long story short I now have a lemon and more Oreos than I know what to do with

update: tonight he brought me 2 lemons and a bag of cough drops. i’m running out of room in my fruit drawer in the fridge because i have so many damn lemons.

LIFE IS GIVING U LEMONS, MAKE SO LEMONADE !!!!!

okay but it wasn’t life it was a guy named howard

Update: tonight there were 3 lemons

Update: 4 lemons

Another update: I have 10 lemons and a date for Friday night

update: lemon boy carved pumpkins to ask me to be his lemon girl so lemon boy is now lemon boyfriend

update: lemon boyfriend and lemon girlfriend are very happy 

update: lemon boyfriend and lemon girlfriend took a trip to the mountains this summer and decided that once they’ve graduated & are successfully pretending to be grown ups they will become lemon husband and lemon wife 

hey guys guess what it’s been 2 years since the pumpkins and 

we’re still each other’s biggest fans

Happy 3rd Anniversary to the love of my life. I can’t believe that I’m so unbelievably lucky. Stars in my eyes and fire in my heart. 

Inspiring Moments at the Golden Globes

It might just work because Trump is really that STUPID.

fuck it up Cathleen!!!!!!!

doctors in tweets be like

Rami Malek's identical twin Sami dresses up as a cowboy to protest during the teachers strike in LA

damn we really in the wildest timeline huh

Small tip to help some of your blind friends: do not put 10,000 emojis in the middle of a text or a post if you continue to put text after the emojis because I will tell you that I will Straight give up if I have to listen to “face with tears of joy, face with tears of joy, face with tears of joy,” 23 times just to hear the rest of your text or post.

Oh my god, that’s what screen readers say when they read out emojis?? I didn’t realize.. I will change how I write my posts now… My bad…

This is good to know. Pretend there are twenty three light bulb emojis indicating sudden understanding following this text.

So the clap hands emoji post would be extra annoying since you can’t just speed read it, damn!

YES. That is one of my least favorite emojis because it’s LONG. It also says skin tone on some, and while that’s AWESOME, if you put 30 prayer hands, I have to hear “hands clasped in celebration with medium dark skin tone” 30 times in full. And even if I use a braille display, it still writes it out in full because there’s no real way to represent them any other way yet, so until someone invents a Braille display with like 10 lines that isn’t astronomically expensive, there’s no easy way to skip over them.

Now, at least with some screen readers, punctuation is a little different and if there are multiple of the same thing it’ll say like “17 exclamation points” instead of saying them all individually, and I wish that update would be made to screen readers to speak emojis in multiples that way… That would be a good solution.

Is it okay to use emojis sparingly? I don’t ever use a million like that, the most I’d put in a row is probably two different emojis, lol. But I do feel the need to use either emojis or ASCII faces in order to get emotion across in my writing. Which is better for you, a traditional ASCII face like :-) or a newfangled emoji like ☺️? Can your screen reader “translate” things like :-) into “smiling face” or do you just hear “colon dash right parentheses”?

Oh yeah, of course! If you only use one or two in a row that’s totally fine! Don’t feel like you have to just stop using them. They are fun and lots of people like them.

As for emoji versus traditional typed out faces, it doesn’t really matter. It can’t translate most of those faces except for a general smiley face, but I know what the symbols put together mean, though this may be difficult for somebody who is not very well versed in print reading. Most blind kids get taught to recognize both though.

There’s so much good info on this post! I didn’t know any of this. Thanks for making it!!

But how do screen readers translate GIFS? Does the OP know that the above post is a gif of a shooting star with the words “the more you know” riding it?

Nope. All I know is that that is an image. Screen readers cannot interpret with the pixels on an image mean. The only reason it can tell me an emoji is because the developers of those emojis programmed them in some way that included alt text, though I cannot tell you how because I am not a programmer or a coder.

Thankfully, somebody noticed the irony in that addition and reblogged it with a description.

the reason that emojis have text associated with them is because emojis were designed not to act as pictures but as a language keyboard and since every one is a pictograph there needs to be a closely associated definition.

that’s also why apple, samsung, or any other company can’t copyright “face with tears of joy” just the art that their operating systems use to express thos pictographs. The art of a set of emojis used by a phone company is essentially a font used for a language.

#NowYouKnow

Also, y’all, in iOS 11, I think somebody somehow saw our nice little thread here and fucking fixed the problem of many emojis because I can remember three (3) distinct times in the past few days that I have come across something like “5 face with tears of joy” and at first been like “what the fuck?? What did that say?“ and then used the rotor to navigate by individual word and character to realize what it was and I was like “OMG!!! My desires have been realized!”

So like I think someone at Apple saw this and answered our prayers guys

That’s actually super interesting to know

Superheroes being 197% done with wii music playing

WHY WOULD THEY CUT THIS?????

This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades

they cut it because of the ONE gay reference

Same energy

both of these sketches were written by julio torres - here’s his twitter

Omg 😂

I just want you all to know that my dramatic 6 year old ass would have loved all of this shit.

I’m the dramatique™ hand to face moment in the broken mirror.

Ügyes !

WHY WOULD THEY CUT THIS?????

This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades

they cut it because of the ONE gay reference

Same energy

both of these sketches were written by julio torres - here’s his twitter

Omg 😂

I just want you all to know that my dramatic 6 year old ass would have loved all of this shit.

I’m the dramatique™ hand to face moment in the broken mirror.

Look at this doggo. how cute.

Merry Christmas, by the way.

GOTTEM

this shit killed me wtf

That fuckin nod took me out

Best cat award.

I was literally just whispering, “This is the best video ever recorded,” when she said it.

osha is making the rounds again.  she would be thrilled to know the internet loves her like this.  

@matissethecatto

Must be an important raccoon.

Someone didn’t do their transformation spell right