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#Lovelife

@katiemiller1234

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legalwifi

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

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lizawithazed

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug

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bang

I love my boyfriend, but there’s one thing I go nuts on; He leaves Dr. Pepper cans everywhere in the damn house. Usually half empty, and by the time I find them (He puts them in really obscure places, i.e. behind books or tv) they have mold in them. 

Ugh! so after being ignored when I went after him, I wait. One day he sets his can down next to like 4 others by the table so he can pee. His method of not getting to drink mold is always looking for the cold can. I get a moldy one I’d put in the fridge, waiting for this, and switch them. He comes back, sits down. I wait……yes. He picks it up and drinks it! He makes an awful face and looks at the can for a second, drinks again! He spits it out and glances over at me. I keep a straight face. He throws it away, along with the rest of the cans. 

To this day he hasn’t left a can, remembering that moldy one “he must have grabbed by mistake.”

Source: redd.it
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