"here in the garden, let's play a game, I'll show you how it's done.

here in the garden, stand very still, this will be so much fun."

The thoughts I have on Pink Diamond that no one asked for. Spoilers for the movie.

So like… Pink Diamond was a casually, thoughtlessly cruel person early on. We been knew. We knew that Pink was an Immature Immortal who took literal millennia to see humans as equals and individuals (like, literally Greg was the one who got her there) and who didn’t really… GET the power she had over other gems, like Bismuth and Garnet and Pearl. In this, she was a child. A feckless teenager who never got the chance to grow and learn and mature in a way that would enable her to have relationships that weren’t, in some way, inherently toxic. 

Because she’d never had a relationship that wasn’t inherently toxic before Greg.

Greg was the first person who interacted with her as a woman, as an equal. As someone worthy of respect rather than slavish adoration or open awe, and expected respect in return. He called her out on her bullshit, told her when she was being hurtful or doing something wrong, and I think that’s very much a parallel to Steven being able to call out the Diamonds, and really all of gemkind, on their bullshit.

Before Greg and Steven, nothing about Pink/Rose, or the Crystal Gems, was healthy. It may have been more loving and happy than Homeworld, but it was still based on lies and stunted growth. Every single one of them only knew abuse, and weren’t able to recognize when people who were kinder were still being abusive.

Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz were abusive. Not intentionally. Not violently. But in that casual, thoughtless way that comes from thinking the way they were treated is normal and not realizing it wasn’t until it’s too late. 

I don’t think Rose completely forgot about Spinel or just didn’t care. Much like how I don’t think the Diamonds completely forgot or didn’t care about Pink. But as is made very, very clear, they’re all deeply messed up. 

Pink had been told for millennia that she was too childish, too foolish and young, to have a colony. She was for playtime, for making the other Diamonds laugh and be entertained when they were done being Real Diamonds. She was their Spinel. So when she finally got the opportunity to be a Real Diamond, she did what the other Diamonds did, because that’s who she learned from.

She left Spinel behind. Because she was a Real Diamond now, and Real Diamonds aren’t childish. They don’t want goofy kids in their moon bases. They are always professional, always perfect and regal and without fault. She was not, under any circumstances, allowed to be herself because herself simply wasn’t good enough. 

What she did was cruel, but I don’t think it was intentional. I think it was part of a cycle of abuse, something more or less everyone in this story is caught up in to some extent. I don’t think she forgot about Spinel either; time is different for Gems and especially for Diamonds. I think by the time she was cognizant enough to realize what she’d done, it was too late to do anything about it and she could only hope that someone had gone to get her. 

Pink is still my favorite. She did terrible things and wonderful things. She grew in ways Diamonds shouldn’t have been able to. She left a lot of pain in her wake but also a lot of love and a lot of good. She wanted to be better and she didn’t have the chance to fix every mistake she’d ever made but I genuinely think she never intended so many of them to come back and haunt Steven. She wanted Steven to live his own life and be happy and human and I think it would break her heart to see how much pain her mistakes are causing him.

It’s pretty sad that one of the people who would have benefited most from meeting Steven never got to. 

SU Movie spoilers ahead but:

Spinel doesn't just look like Mickey Mouse...

She goes from looking like Mickey Mouse: the beloved toon-

To looking like Oswald the Lucky Rabbit: the forgotten toon

this hasn't been done before right

Further thoughts on Spinel’s backstory

I see many people calling Pink a bitch because she abandoned Spinel, as if she deliberately planned to leave her stuck there because she got annoying…

But that’s a little too OOC for her.

This is how I’d summarize the whole flashback:

Pink and Spinel were like childhood friends. At first, Pink wasn’t allowed to have any responsibilities and was treated like a little kid, so of course she’d have fun with another little kid whose entire purpose was “entertain Pink Diamond”. When you remember Pink was abused by the other Diamonds, and how her first Pearl was taken away from her and turned into a grotesque mockery of a “real Pearl”, it’s even sadder how Spinel was for some time her only source of joy.

But then Pink’s life changed, because Yellow finally caved in and let her colonize the Earth. Suddenly, she was treated with the adult respect that she wanted! (at least on the surface)

Spinel’s games and attitude felt suddenly too childish. She didn’t change, because how could she? Being Pink’s jester was her only purpose.

And it annoyed Pink. Suddenly she couldn’t relate to her anymore, she couldn’t have fun with her anymore. But she never told her this.

And I think it’s because Pink was treated like a dumb kid so much, she knew how humiliating it was. She didn’t have the heart to be the “bad guy” and tell her old friend that she was annoying and no fun anymore, and that she needed to grow up because now Pink had better things to do.

Also, we’ve seen how Spinel is - she’s clingy, even more than a Pearl, both physically and mentally. She probably wasn’t the kind of person you could reason with like an adult. How can you tell a Gem programmed to be a playmate for a kid that her existence is not wanted anymore?

So Pink clumsly tried to reach a compromise - she pretended to play yet another game, the only thing Spinel seemed to understand, but one whose purpose was to keep Spinel away from her, and let her breathe while she learned how to be a real Diamond.

I fully believe Pink meant to come back, eventually. Maybe when everything got settled and she could call herself a full-fledged Diamond with her own colony, maybe Spinel would have helped her to take a break. But we know what happened - she went on Earth, realized her colonization would destroy it, decided to stop it, and then she got involved into a war in which she had to lead both factions…

Of course Spinel, poor little Spinel standing there in their garden, completely slipped her mind.

And then, after the Crystal Gems were corrupted and the Warp Pads destroyed, she became yet another mistake in the long list of Pink/Rose’s mistakes. And we know that Rose never had the courage to deal with her many, many mistakes, as Steven discovered years later.

Fusion is not a metaphor for sex!

It IS a metaphor for relationships as a whole, including familial, platonic, and romantic relationships.

If it were explicitly a metaphor for sex, it would have been problematic no matter who Steven fused with, because Steven is underaged!!! It would have been problematic with Stevonnie if it were really a metaphor for sex, because at that point they were even younger and both CHILDREN! Not all intimacy has to be sexual. Fusion is an indication of intimacy, and that can manifest in numerous ways.

Steven’s Emotional Conflict and What it Means in SU: the Movie

I absolutely adore how the movie takes Steven’s biggest flaws: self internalizing his pain and acting as though everything with him is ok, and makes his resolution to his arc break this completely. Then takes it a step further by tying it into the specific conflict of the movie, where he has temporarily forgotten his biggest strength, change.

This pattern Steven has of coping has been there since very early on; His Rose quartz insecurities, or his inability to help everyone, are things that quietly haunt him. Mindful education’s focus is partially on this, on how Steven’s method of coping causes problems to build up in his mind until they’re overwhelming. It is pointed out that while it’s never going to be easy when going through something hard, there are better ways to cope.

By the climax, Steven’s on his last leg. He’s exhausted, he’s emotionally tired, he’s losing badly, and his powers still aren’t working no matter what he does. Up until this point he’s focused on helping Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst, or Spinel, or moving to the next objective to remove the injector, getting increasingly antsy and distressed. So in this moment where he may actually die, he finally lets it out.

“What could be missing, this is the story of my life.” is a crushing line.

He starts crying, he yells out how awful it is for all of his problems to feel like a never ending circle, for his same issues to just come back over and even worse. On its own it’s a great moment for Steven to acknowledge a clear pattern in his life, but it also lets him finally release his feelings that had been building up. Only through letting that out does he finally have the time to examine his own inner issues and realize that in order to overcome his problems he needs to remember that they, and he, can change. The power of change, of becoming a better person, and creating a better life, is what gives him his powers/ the strength to then fight back and attempt to help spinel change. It’s also what he’s used to help him work through his own individual problems.

Spinel, who could arguably be seen as someone with trauma (or at the very least, heavy scars that affect her badly), is able to rebuild herself after she is offered a helping hand by steven, but ONLY once she’s able to accept she needs to rebuild herself. She is also connected to the key point of this movie, where change influences characters in good ways (like the CGs) and bad (like spinel when PD first leaves her).

It’s great, because Spinel, a character struggling with change, is helped by another that forgot how far he’s come.

I wasn’t good enough for you, and now I’m not good at ALL!

Abandonment

What it can do to you. This entire movie had me up a wall I dont even know where to begin.

They really got the details right when it comes to being abandoned. How spinel didnt want to be away from Steven even if it was for a second. How she got angry when he ask her to wait there.

I also noticed the small moments where spinel kept feeling like she was being left out or abandoned when she wasnt getting enough attention. The moment where she says "I just felt a bunch of feelings come back to me" which is exacly what happens there triggers from trama shes had

And can we PLEASE talk about how when they were singing "found" shes chosing steven!! As they say shell learn to love again with someone she follows his footsteps and reaches for him and Steven motions someone out there and points to the world. but shes looking at him...

What probably hit the most is once spinel and Steven were actually friends. And she disabled the thing that was going to destroy earth. She was sent in a state of panic paranoia and fear. Jumping to conclusions assuming no one wants her because of everything she has done.

And last but not least at the end where shes fighting Steven and says "I use to be just not good enough for pink, now I'm not good at all" is such a horrendous thought that people have when it comes to abandonment they blame themselves and ultimately self destruct.

But hearing her last words "Friendship isnt going to be easy for me, I'm gonna have to work at it. You make me wanna try I've already messed up bad with you I wish I could just start from scratch" hit home real hard

As someone who suffers from bpd every type of relationship I come across is difficult because of childhood trama/abandonment. And sometimes I dont even really realize what I'm doing that can harm others I just wanna say I really feel recognized like rebecca has touched every topic I've suffered with and I wanna say anyone suffering like me and spinel here we are not alone its gonna take alot of work to fix the mess other people caused on us but if we dont give up we can make it

THANK YOU REBECCA ❤

Steven Universe is never going to end because there will be an absolutely endless supply of antagonists who’s entire motivations are “Your mother fucked me up either emotionally, mentally or physically and now I have debilitating trauma” and Steven will just be “yeah that tracks”

- “You poofed all my friends and poisoned the earth!!!!”

-....

i slapped a cathedral effect on the song & now it sounds like celestial beings  singing from the depths of space calling to you