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totally gay

@highkey-phan / highkey-phan.tumblr.com

-mostly dan and phil
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Anonymous asked:

Could you possibly do a hc where Dan is at a friends house and Phil (his friends older brother) happens to be home with them since their parents aren't home. Dans friend has to go to the store and get something and Phil decides to have fun with his little brothers friend. You can make them any age you'd like.

validdan answered:

~ this is shit but! it’s something! ~ ~ dan is 16 and phil is 17, almost 18 ~~ phil’s brother is named jordan bc idk ~

Dan knocked on the door, frowning and biting his lip. It was a bad habit he had developed, especially when he was nervous or particularity anxious.

This was his third time going to his friend Jordan’s house, and he wasn’t any less nervous. Jordan was nice enough, he sat by Dan at lunch when no one else had and talked to him about Pokémon. Dan was just scared he was going to do something wrong. He always did. He didn’t want to lose another friend.

Dan heard the lock click and the door swung open; his eyes widened.

A boy answered the door, a boy he hadn’t seen before. He had messy black hair, sex hair basically, and his blue eyes sparkled when they landed on Dan. A cocky smirk seemed to be plastered to his face.

“Hey,” he said, leaning on the door frame and looking Dan over. Dan crossed his arms; it felt oddly sexual. “You’re Dan, right? You’re cute. Jordan didn’t tell me you were so cute.”

“Phil!” Came a shrill voice from behind him, and Jordan pushed him to the side, offering Dan an apologetic look. “Sorry about that, that’s my stupid brother. Come on in.”

Dan nodded, pressing his lips together and letting Jordan pull him inside, avoiding Phil’s predatory gaze as he passed.

Jordan led him to the kitchen, leaning against the counter and smiling at him.

“My parents aren’t home, they left me with Phil.” He rolled his eyes. “They needed some ‘time alone’, they said…”

“They’re probably fucking!” Phil shouted from the other room.

“I was just making food…” he mumbled, ignoring him, a bit of ginger hair falling in his eyes, and he brushed it away. “But I think we’re out of ramen.”

“I ate it!” Came Phil’s voice from the other room, along with a laugh. Jordan cursed under his breath.

“But I’m really hungry and he ate all the rest of the food too…” he continued, glaring at the door. “So I think I need to go to the store. Wanna come?” He raised his eyebrows hopefully. Dan was highly aware of Phil who had just entered, leaning against the door frame.

“Yeah Dan,” he started, smirking, his eyes scoping Dan out. “Wanna come?”

Jordan glanced at him nervously, chuckling awkwardly. Dan’s eyes widened.

“Er, I think I’ll stay here, I brought some homework and stuff so I should be fine.” Dan flashed him a smile, biting his lip. Jordan shrugged.

“Alright then,” he mumbled, moving to grab his jacket from a hook on the kitchen wall. “I’ll be right back. Phil,” he turned to his brother, who raised his eyebrows. “Don’t sexually harass my friend.”

The door slammed, and he was gone.

Dan wasn’t going to lie, the sexual tension was unbearable with Phil watching him like he wanted to eat him. Dan bit his lip, glancing at his feet.

“Your name’s Dan, right?” He asked, stepping a bit closer.

“Yeah,” Dan mumbled.

“Well my name’s Phil,” he said, stepping forward again. He checked his wrist, frowning at his watch. “The name you’ll be screaming in about… I’d say about two minutes.”

Dan’s eyes widened as Phil chuckled, drawing his finger up Dan’s jaw. He leaned down, kissing just below Dan’s ear, as if to just test his reaction. He smirked when Dan moaned softly, tilting his head back.

“Yeah,” Phil breathed. “I’m gonna cover that pretty neck of yours in marks.”

“B-But,” Dan’s voice broke, and he backed away a little. “You’re Jordan’s brother… I don’t think he’d-”

“Why does he matter?” Phil muttered, brushing some hair away from Dan’s face and frowning.

“Because… I don’t think he’d like it if I-”

“Babe,” Phil laughed, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter. I want you, he doesn’t control me. I fuck who I want.”

Dan tensed up as he spoke, Phil was leaning closer until their noses were practically touching. Dan’s breath caught. Phil slid his hands down Dan’s side, admiring his shape and kneading his ass in both of his hands.

“Dan…” he started slowly, offering him a smile. “If I kiss you, you have to promise you won’t run away.”

Dan thought about it. He had an attractive guy practically feeling him up, asking to kiss him, in his friends kitchen. An attractive guy practically two years older than him, Jordan had said his brother was almost eighteen. Dan felt himself nod slowly.

Phil smirked, pulling Dan forward roughly by the hips, kissing him on the mouth.

Dan whimpered into the kiss, somewhat surprised by the force in Phil’s movements, but soon he melted into Phil’s lips and his hands gliding over Dan’s curves.

Phil was good at kissing, better than good. His mouth slid easily against Dan’s, and he took dominance immediately. He reached up with one hand to touch Dan’s face, the other still squeezing his ass.

Dan jumped forward when Phil slipped his hand down the back of his jeans, so now the front of their bodies were pressed together. Phil chuckled, kneading Dan’s flesh, and Dan buried his face in Phil’s neck. He was incredibly hard, and he was positive Phil could feel it.

“Fuck you’re pretty,” Phil breathed, kissing down Dan’s jaw to his throat messily.

“Promise?” Dan giggled. Phil shook his head, in awe.

“Yes, baby boy.”

Phil picked Dan up in one smooth movement, making Dan gasp and wrap his limbs around him, grasping at his shirt. Phil walked them backwards, slamming Dan against the wall.

He kissed him again, more messy and desperate this time, and Dan moaned against his mouth.

“Can we go to your room or something?” Dan gasped, gaining back his confidence. “I don’t really fancy Jordan finding us out here…”

“Yeah,” Phil agreed, breathing heavily. “Yeah, you’re right.”

He set Dan down, tugging him after him by the sleeve to the hallway. They didn’t get ten steps before Phil was shoving him against the wall again, attacking his neck and jaw and mouth. Dan moaned loudly, grasping desperately at his shoulders.

“In here,” Phil mumbled, pushing Dan through a door and pulling him forward by his hips. Dan looked around as Phil nipped at his throat, frowning.

“Isn’t this… Jordan’s room?” Dan asked, pausing to mutter a ‘fuck’ under his breath. Phil smirked.

“Yeah, but i figure we’re doing him a favor. This is probably the only time anything remotely like this happens in here…” Phil laughed, pushing his hands under Dan’s shirt. “Plus I couldn’t wait,” he added huskily.

Dan let Phil push him back on the bed, because honestly, he couldn’t wait either.

Phil tugged his shirt over his head, tossing it aside, before crawling over Dan. He pushed Dan’s legs open, leaning over him so their crotches were rubbing together, slowly grinding down on him and drawing a moan out of Dan’s mouth.

Phil grinned, kissing him deeply and pulling at his shirt. Dan lifted him arms, letting him take it off. Phil sat up.

“I’ll be right back,” he said quickly, practically falling off the bed. Dan giggled. “Take those jeans off.”

Dan did as he said, discarding his jeans somewhere besides the bed. He felt a pang of guilt about doing this in Jordan’s bed, but it vanished when Phil got back, reduced down to his own boxers and holding a condom and a bottle of lube.

He kissed up Dan’s inner thigh as he crawled up the bed again, making Dan shudder and grip the sheets.

“Baby boy,” Phil breathed, his words brushing Dan’s neck. “Are you sure you want this?”

The fact that Phil was asking shot affection through Dan’s body, and he nodded.

“Yes,” he muttered, tugging Phil’s boxers down slightly. “Yes, god, yes Phil.”

“Good,” Phil said, grinning and helping Dan take his boxers off. “Good.”

Dan’s own boxers were off in seconds, and Phil was brushing his thumb over his entrance.

Phil leaned forward, kissing him deeply, all lips and tongue and heat, as he pushed a finger into him. Dan shuddered and arched his back, a strangled whine falling from his mouth.

“Shh,” Phil whispered, peppering light kisses all over Dan’s face and watching him carefully. “Shh, baby, it’s okay, you’re doing such a good job.”

He kneaded Dan’s thigh gently, adding another finger and grinning as Dan started grinding back on him.

“Such a good boy,” he muttered, pumping his fingers, curling every now and then and making Dan fall apart beneath him.

Soon enough he was pulling them out, rolling on the condom and lubing himself up. Dan watched through heavy lidded eyes, letting out little hums and whines of pleads.

“Baby,” Phil mumbled, pressing his tip to his entrance. “Don’t hold back, alright? Want you to moan for me, want you to scream my name like a slut.”

Dan could hardly nod before Phil was slamming into him, bottoming out with one thrust. Dan gasped, a loud strangled moan ripping from his throat. He grabbed at Phil’s form, desperate for something to hold on to.

Phil groaned, long and steady, as he began to push in and out, biting down on Dan’s shoulder.

“Fuck, Dan, you’re so tight…” he gasped, his stomach tensing up and heaving from his heavy breathing. Dan whined, throwing his head back.

“Harder,” he breathed.

“Are you sure?”

“Please, yes!”

Phil nodded, watching Dan’s face as he snapped his hips roughly, and Dan screamed.

“Philphilphil FUCK!”

Phil moaned, sucking on his neck and fucking into him harder. “That’s it, princess, scream my name. That’s it baby.”

Dan’s head was going foggy, all he could comprehend was YES, yes, god he felt so good. Phil’s hips hitting his, burying his cock so deep into him… fuck, it was heaven.

“Dan,” Phil said, his voice strained. “Fuck fuck fuck, Dan, so good, I’m gonna cum.” He took Dan’s cock in his hand, jerking him off, incredibly fueled by Dan’s noises and the way he was arching his back and throwing his head on the pillow.

“Ah-” Dan gasped, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m c-close, I’m close Phil, shit-”

“That’s it baby, meet my thrusts. Such a good boy, meet daddy’s thrusts… just like that.”

Phil froze when he heard the door open, the creaking of the bedsprings and Dan’s moans slightly messing with what he could hear, so maybe he was imagining it. But-

“Phil?” Jordan’s voice called. “Dan? Guys?”

Phil slapped a hand over Dan’s mouth, not stilling his moments completely, but slowing down. He knew he should stop, try to get them presentable, but he was so close… He grinded his cock into the boy beneath him thoroughly, trying to get him there through going deep instead of hard and fast. Dan’s noises were still clear, although muffled.

Phil replaced his hand with his mouth, kissing Dan to keep him quiet, groaning as he felt Dan moan against his mouth.

“Phil? Why are your jeans in the hallway…?”

Dan whined, cum streaking his stomach and his back arching, and Phil kissed him harder, letting go into the condom.

Phil pulled out quickly, discarding of it in a wastebasket and pulling Dan up. He dressed him as fast as he could, getting Dan to help slightly, but not much. He pulled on his own shirt, grabbing a pair of Jordan’s jeans and pulling them on, even though they were clearly too tight.

“Phil…?” Jordan pushed open the door, frowning at them suspiciously. “What are you doing in my room?”

Phil smiled at him. “Oh, just messing with your shit. Dan really wanted to see your drawer of sex toys.”

Jordan’s eyes widened and he glared at Phil. “I do not have a drawer of sex toys!”

Phil shrugged, standing up and punching his brother’s shoulder. “Whatever you say buddy.”

“Why were your jeans in the hallway?”

Phil shrugged, trying to seem casual. “Must have dropped them when I did the laundry. And…” he looked down at Jordan’s jeans he was wearing. “Mine must have shrunk…?”

Jordan frowned, but nodded slowly.

Dan stood, practically falling but Phil leaned forward and caught him at the last second. Dan laughed nervously.

“Feet fell asleep,” he mumbled. “Happens a lot.”

“Mhm,” Jordan said, staring at him suspiciously, but like he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “Alright then, well, Dan, Arianna invited us to lunch so…”

“Yeah! Uh, yeah, let’s… do that.”

Phil grabbed Dan’s butt as he walked by, and winked when Dan glared at him.

“You know, I like this kid. You should invite him around more often.”

~ TWO DAYS LATER ~

“PHIL?! WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A USED CONDOM IN MY BIN!”

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PLEASE TELL ME...

this isn’t the last sherlock episode EVER…right ???

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Lip Balm

Title: Lip Balm

Summary: Dan and Phil leave the next Danisnotonfire video up to the fans and they vote for the lip balm challenge. 

Relationship: Phan

Characters / Pairing: Dan Howell, Phil Lester

Word Count: 2,139

Warnings: M/M, some serious swearing (I mean, come on guys… It’s Dan we’re talking about here), some bants (meaning banter - lmao it just looks some weird ship name for pants), we got a little bit o’ making out (dayyuuuum but I guess you can kind of assume from the summary??), FLUFFFFFFFF, humour (well idk it depends on if you think it’s funny - personally i think i’m fukin hilarious but idk that’s probs just me), friendstolovers yo

AU where Dan and Phil aren’t married.

Or the one where Dan gets distracted by kissing Phil and forgets to guess the flavour. #friendstolovers

**

There’s a long pause before Dan finally breaks the silence.

“This is actually happening.”

The camera is on a tripod and rolling, the lights are focused on their faces, and there’s a bag beside each of their feet.

This is actually happening.

They’re sitting on Dan’s bed next to each other and Dan can’t help but feel extremely nervous.

“Hello internet! So last week, we had just returned from New York and couldn’t think of any video ideas. Instead of making an incredibly generic overdone video, we turned to you guys!” Dan explains enthusiastically.

Phil is just nodding along and glancing at Dan every now and then, adding another layer of extra pressure.

“We asked you all to come up with an idea for my next Danisnotonfire video, and the percentage was overwhelmingly outweighed by one specific idea. You’ll never guess what it was…” He trails off, giving the camera an extremely annoyed expression. “A generic, overdone video.”

Phil chuckles from next to him, causing the corner of Dan’s mouth to twitch but he stills it mentally and keeps talking. “We asked you guys for an idea to avoid a generic video, and you guys voted for a generic video.”

“You might want to tell them what we’re doing, Dan.” Phil reminds him patiently, a hint of laughter still in his voice.

Dan shoots Phil a look and retorts, “Calm your titballs there, Lester! I’m getting to it.”

Phil shakes his head and Dan ignores this.

“Today - because an overwhelming 76% of you asked for it - Phil and I will be doing…”

His flatmate drums on the post of Dan’s bed.

“The lip balm challenge!” Dan announces as Phil ends his reckless drumroll.

“I think I’ve seen this before,” Phil comments, looking curiously over at Dan. “Isn’t this for couples?”

“It is indeed,” Dan agrees with a sigh. “Basically, how this will work is person A will put on a blindfold, then person B puts on a chosen flavour of lip balm and locks lips with person A. Person A will have to guess which flavour it is that person B has on.”

“Dan and I went to the dollar store because Dan’s cheap and-”

“I am not cheap!”

“-We bought five different flavours of lip balm.” Phil explains, ignoring Dan’s interjection.

Dan huffs and goes to pull the lip balms out of one of the bags at their feet. “But - of course - we couldn’t go to a bath & body store without Phil buying a thousand bath bombs and facial moisturizers.”

Phil crosses his arms indignantly. “That’s not true! Besides, you like them too.”

Dan smirks as he holds up the lip balms and prepares to name the flavors for the camera. “Touché.”

He holds the lip balms up higher so they are definitely in the shot. “These are the five flavours we chose.”

He hands two to Phil and takes three for himself. “Here I have Rosemary Eucalyptus, Tangerine Lime, and Cocoa.”

Phil checks his lip balms too. “I have Grapefruit Clove and Cinnamon Mint.”

“So - with that in mind - I guess we will begin. Are you ready Phil?”

“I’m ready!”

“Then let’s get started.” Dan turns and grabs the familiar red blindfold from the bag at his feet and looks at Phil. “Who wants to go first?”

“I want to go last,” Phil says quickly. “I want to know what each one tastes like on my lips before I go.”

Dan sighs and his heart starts to pick up pace. “I guess I’ll go first then.”

He hands the blindfold to Phil and turns so that Phil can tie it around his head.

As soon as it covers his eyes, Dan gets a lurch of panic that sparks through his body.

No matter what, there’s no going back now.

He can no longer see anything coming so he has no time to prepare.Taking a deep breath, Dan sticks his palm out with the lip balms he has in Phil’s general direction until he feels their weight relieved from his hand.

Folding his hands in his lap (because what the fuck else is he supposed to do with them), Dan feels his other senses kick into hypersensitive mode.

He’s aware of Phil’s presence, of the racing of his heart beat, of the the blood pumping through his body, he can taste the saliva in his mouth, he can smell the lack of fresh air caused by not opening a window in a while.

Everything is beginning to overwhelm Dan from all of the information his senses are sending his brain.

“Do I just show which one I chose to the camera?” Phil asks suddenly, startling Dan by his spontaneity.

“Er, yeah sure. I’ll edit in a count of how many points we have after we finish filming.” He adds.

Phil goes quiet again and Dan just assumes that he’s showing the camera his choice of lip balm and putting it on.

“Alrighty Daniel, pucker up!” Phil exclaims cheerily.

Dan’s heart trips over itself at the childish words.

He can literally feel the space between them getting smaller and smaller.

His last fleeting thought is, ’fuckity fuckity fuck’.

Then a pair of soft, warm lips wrap around his top one and his brain goes white.

He is too shocked to react, but Phil’s lips move at a perfectly paced tempo, slowly coaxing Dan’s body into reacting.

Woah.

Dan’s lips twitch against Phil’s and suddenly they’re moving in sync, harmonizing in the beautiful symphony Phil has started.

And fuck this is so good.

Somehow, his hand finds its way to his best friend’s cheek and Dan stabilizes the kiss, relishing the taste and feel of Phil’s lips on his own.

They’re so soft and delicate and Dan’s almost afraid Phil’s bottom lip will just slip right out from between his own, but it doesn’t.

The next thing he knows, Phil’s pulling away and Dan makes what has to be the most mortifying noise of disappointment he’s ever made in his life.

His cheeks flush crimson and there’s just no point in hiding it now.

“What’s your guess?”

“Huh?”

“What flavour do you think it was?” Phil repeats.

Oh.

…

Oh.

Dan was supposed to be guessing what flavor of lip balm Phil was wearing.

But he was too caught up in actually kissing Phil than guessing what flavour the bloody ChapStick was.

“I didn’t really get that great of a taste.” Dan admits awkwardly. “Could I get another go?”

Phil laughs and Dan’s ears perk at the sound.

He opens his mouth to speak again when he’s cut off by Phil’s lips connecting with his own.

And he’s sucked right back into Phil’s addictive lip-lock.

Focus Dan! You want to win this thing, don’t you?

Forcing himself to stop twirling in the high that is Phil’s kiss, Dan tries to focus on tactics to get a better taste of the lip balm.

Lick it off.

His stomach flutters at the thought, but it does make logical sense.

Here goes nothing.

Dan slowly lets his tongue venture out and glide innocently along Phil’s lower lip.

And the whine that Phil makes is so fucking hot.

Swallowing a groan, Dan gently sucks Phil’s bottom lip into his mouth, licking it with long, precise strokes.

He definitely recognizes that flavour.

A small moan - so small Dan almost can’t hear it - is released from Phil as Dan sucks skillfully on his lower lip and Dan literally has to pull himself away so he doesn’t jump Phil then and there.

Their lips disconnect with a soft popping sound and Dan resists the powerful urge to lean back in.

That can wait for another time.

Instead he clears his throat and says, “That was definitely eucalyptus. Whatever that eucalyptus flavour was, it was that one.”

“Rosemary Eucalyptus?” Phil muses.

“Yeah sure, whatever.” Dan waves it off.

He holds his breath as Phil is silent for a moment.

“I… I think you’re right…?”

“I’m right. I know eucalyptus when I taste it.” Dan says confidently.

“Should I move onto the next one?”

“Mhmm.”

“Alright. How many am I doing again?”

“Three.”

“Right. Well, I’ll tell you when I’m done, okay?”

“Fine by me.”

And Dan’s forced to wait again.

He can’t help but wonder why he’s always refrained from kissing Phil.

He knew deep down he was scared. Not because of sexuality or fans or anything like that, but scared of losing Phil.

Before Phil is anything, he is Dan’s best friend and Dan would cry himself to sleep every night if Phil left him.

It’s sad, but it’s the truth.

“Phil, I- mmfph.” Dan begins to express these thoughts to him when he’s - again - cut off by Phil’s lips and he nearly passes out.

How does this get better every single time they do it?

He goes for the tongue quicker this time, opening his lips against Phil’s and gently tugging his lower lip into his mouth, the slow suction releasing a strong flavour of cinnamon.

Dan immediately pulls away and gags, coughing as he turns to face away from Phil.

“Are you alright, Dan?” Phil asks worriedly.

Dan doesn’t respond, instead attempting to swallow away the overwhelming flavour.

Once he can speak again, he chokes out the word, “Cinnamon.”

Phil gives him the point.

Eventually - by the time they’re switching - Dan’s blindfold is untied and he flinches at the bright lighting, giving his eyes a moment to adjust.

Phil offers him the blindfold and Dan smiles and takes his, tying it gently around Phil’s head and securing the knot.

“Fifty shades,” he says in a false husky tone as he finishes.

Phil barks out a laugh and Dan chuckles as well, mentally going through his lip balm options.

Which will Phil not guess?

He settles with Cocoa and holds it up to the camera to show the viewers. He is then uncapping the lid and putting it onto his lips until they’re slick and flavourful.

Dan turns to look at Phil and warn him of his advance, but his eyes soften when he sees the sight presented to him.

Phil is sitting in front of him with his knees pulled up underneath him in a cross-cross position and a cute smile spread across his lips.

For this reason, Dan has no trouble crawling forward on hands and knees and connecting their lips softly.

Phil squeaks in surprise and Dan chuckles breathily through his nose.

After a few seconds, Phil gets more adventurous and rolls Dan’s bottom lip between his teeth to get the flavour off of it.

Dan moans.

He literally moans.

Like… Sexually.

And his cheeks flush with embarrassment, but Phil doesn’t seem bothered by this at all, instead continuing the action with more confidence, leaving Dan in a wrecked state when he pulls away to answer.

“That’s chocolate,” Phil announces, wiping his lips on the back of his hand.

Dan pouts. “You weren’t supposed to get that.”

“I thought it was cinnamon at first, actually. Then I realized it was richer and I knew it was chocolate.”

Dan nods, tasting some off of his lips. “Alright Phil, I’m about to choose the next one so I need you to be quiet, which I know is quite challenging for you.”

Phil sticks his tongue out at Dan and the brunet laughs.

Holding up the Grapefruit Clove flavour, he makes sure that it’s focused and visible.

He applies it to his lips and crawls forward to press them to Phil’s.

Phil - clearly not expecting this - turns his head and they bump noses.

“Fuck!” Dan exclaims, clutching it as he retreats.

Phil cringes and grabs at his own too. “Ouch! You could’ve warned me, Dan.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to turn your head, you acorn!” Dan retorts, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Phil sighs and Dan softens a bit.

“… I’m sorry,” he says quietly.

A small smile finds it’s way onto Phil’s lips and Dan’s heart stutters.

“It’s alright, Dan. I should’ve waited for your cue to move anyway.” Phil consoles, reaching out for Dan’s shoulder blindly.

Dan snickers and moves so that it does.

“I’m going to go for it now, if you’re cool with that?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

And Dan leans forward, colliding heaven and Earth once again as their lips meet.

He melts into the kiss and they slowly begin to morph into more lip-sucking (purely for the tasting aspect of course…) and lip-rolling.

Dan even gives into the urge to lean back in and peck Phil’s lips a last time before pulling away.

They play this game again after the video is finished, as well.

They claim it’s to taste all of the flavours, but they both know very well that this is a load of massive horseshit.

Fuck cherry lip balm, Dan’s new favourite flavour is Phil.

**

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Brendon Urie looks like an innocent puppy but then he opens his mouth and sins pour out

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