there are only two genders

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Dirty talk but you both use your customer service voice

Thanks I hate it

partner: *cums*

me: great! will you be needing anything else today?

Customer service but you use your dirty talk voice

You’re a nasty little bitch aren’t you? Trying to return these shoes after 30 days.

It’s true though

UMMM what about “campfire song” or “indoors”?!!?!?! or the KRUSTY KRAB SONG

daily affirmations

good morning king let’s

———–/\____/\ If you love Warriors, ———–(—W—) copy and paste this ———-=-–A—/= into your signature! ————-)–R–( ————/—R—\ ————)—I—-( ———–/—-O—-\ ———–-—R—-/ ————\__S__/ —————-)) —————(( —————(( 

how come in infinity war they didnt just kiss the infinity stones off thanos’s fingers like in robin hood

uhhhhhhhhh i just figured out that “ofc” is “of fucking course” but this whole time i’ve been reading it “ofcourse” ………… anyway if u need a dumbass just hmu

The simple things in life

nothing sexier than a girl whos just a little out of it. asked the girl serving me at mcdonald’s 2day where the straws are and she said “straws? why would we have hay here” really sexy of her 

penetrating gays

oh, boo hoo, let me blow you a sick smoke ring on the worlds smallest vape

i love that glow u get from minding your own business and letting go of negativity