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Anonymous asked:
did they really clone direworlves?
Recently a company called "Colossal Biosciences" claimed to have resurrected the extinct "Dire Wolf." After every reputable geneticist and preservation company on Earth explained that they were full of shit, they admitted that they had in fact resurrected something far more profitable: The Fiji Mermaid Scam.
In the 1840s, P.T. Barnum displayed a mermaid that he claimed had been caught by fishermen near Fiji. It was in fact a fraud prop made by sewing half a dead fish to half a dead monkey, and was likely not even sewn together in Fiji. Still, people paid to see the grotesque fake, making Barnum's circus sideshow nearly $100, or adjusted for inflation, $960,000,000,000,000,000,000.34.
Though Colossal Biosciences committed a far more advanced lie involving some degree of genetic manipulation and stocks instead of tickets, they were able to make a great deal more than their founder ever got from his early patron, Jeffrey Epstein (guess which part of this post isn't unreality).
Thankfully, nothing can go wrong from this venture as far as anyone can guess, there being no books or movie franchises based on the dangers of fraudulently manipulating genetics to sell hopes of seeing extinct creatures returning to life. The first such film will be about Colossal Biosciences and is coming out next year, Scarlett Johansson has already been cast as the wolf.
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Round 0
Some time ago there was a gimmick blog competition in which Facts made it all the way to the semi-finals. Though Facts is not in the new bracket, one of my other blogs, Guillotinema, is in the game.
@gimmick-blog-bracket has been a great way to get word out about strange and funny blogs so please check out any that sound fun to you and vote as you will, and if you happen to enjoy the blog where I photoshop the heads off of various movie scenes, please vote too!
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New MTG Franchises Added!
Wizards of the Coast has been busy adding various franchises such as Final Fantasy, Lord of the Rings, and Spider-Man to their competition-legal original cards for Magic The Gathering. Here are a few more card sets that will soon join their “Universes Beyond:”
Elden Ring The Godfather Film Trilogy Super Mario Bros. The Chronicles of Narnia Conan The Barbarian McDonalds (both foods and characters) The Hindu Pantheon Yu-Gi-Oh! Gucci The Works of The Marquis De Sade Star-
Hold on there’s a van marked “Pinkerton” outside, brb
RIP to this guy I guess
third secret option. gate.
*corpse lurches to computer and types out* -ship Troopers
New MTG Franchises Added!
Wizards of the Coast has been busy adding various franchises such as Final Fantasy, Lord of the Rings, and Spider-Man to their competition-legal original cards for Magic The Gathering. Here are a few more card sets that will soon join their “Universes Beyond:”
Elden Ring The Godfather Film Trilogy Super Mario Bros. The Chronicles of Narnia Conan The Barbarian McDonalds (both foods and characters) The Hindu Pantheon Yu-Gi-Oh! Gucci The Works of The Marquis De Sade Star-
Hold on there’s a van marked “Pinkerton” outside, brb
The bald eagle gets a lot of attention, but can you tell me about the balding eagle? I can't find many sources about it
The balding eagle is the only known predator to the magpienoxidil. While not America's official birb (currently the bad-orange-toupeed puke-vulture) it is an important part of the ecosystem of America's largest state, the state of despair.
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Anonymous asked:
When is lead? What year was lead?
Lead was discovered in Rome in the year 82. Because Latin for "Eighty-Two" is "Plumbum," they called it "The Eighty-Second Substance," or in Latin, "Plumbumbundumum," which is what we call it commonly in English to this day. Scientists, being lazy and bad at speaking, shortened it to the initials PB, which are also my Uncle's initials, but he is not related to Lead.
Lead is very heavy, having an undisclosed number of neutrons, nutrients, protons, and proteins in it. It is also very poisonous, as only one ton of it can poison anyone who eats it whole. Smaller amounts can also be toxic, and can turn your bones teal. This is why Lead is commonly nicknamed "The Metal That Can Turn Your Bones Teal." This name also lead scientists to assume that Lead may been a metal, but there is no way for us to be certain so they may have also been mislead. "Mis-Lead" is the 83rd element, but that's none of our bismuth.
Pencils are said to contain Lead, but this is not true, nor was it ever true as "pencil lead" was simply slang for graphite, even well before the pencil was invented. Had it not been called "pencil lead," its use for writing may never have been discovered by the inventor of the pencil, Jacques Pencille, who was also notable for having invented the first playing cards, the first sofa, and the first baby-meat-grinder, which is thankfully just a scary misnomer as it does not grind up baby meat, but rather it kills the baby with several knives and needles. And that's the history of Lead.
Anonymous asked:
Pray tell, what is the history of the scrungle bungle? Is it of any relation to the funkle bunkle?
Not at all, the scrungle was originally bungled by the same people who put the bomp in the bomp, bomp, bomp bomp bomp, whereas the funkle can only be bunkled by one who has already placed a ram in the rama lama ding dong.
Legend has it that if the bop should ever achieve its place among the bop shoo bop shoo bop, and dip finds the dip da dip da dip, then perhaps then I can shake the hand of the man who made my baby fall in love with me.
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Let's hear all about the history of chess, please!
Chess is an analog live-action computer game or, "game," invented in the year 1212 B.Y.A. by Shatranj Al-Chessinventir. Designed to teach local rulers about warfare and defending their kingdoms, the game simulated a royal court and its pawns with game pieces. The original pieces were as follows:
- King: The ruler of the court, if captured, means the end of the game. Mostly a figurehead, he can only move one tile at a time.
- Queen: The most capable piece, she does the most work, but capturing her is unimportant because apparently a woman who can do anything is worth far less than a man who can barely move.
- Bishop: Like a real bishop, this piece can only move diagonally, and whenever it takes another piece, it must pray for absolution or it will go to Chess Hell or, "Chell," and burn in Chess Fire or, "Chire," for all Chess Eternity or, "Next Round."
- Knight: A knight must move in an L shape as per the rules of Tetris, from which the earliest chess games were inspired. The knight is represented by a horse in honor of Mazura of Parapa Palace.
- Royal Piss-Bucket Emptier: Now known as the "Rook" due to Victorian prudery, the Royal Piss-Bucket Emptier runs as far as needed in any cardinal direction because the historical job entailed speed and resolute direction.
- Pawn: Also known as a "Serf" or "Retail Clerk," the Pawn is expected to die young and be replaced quickly without the royals so much as noticing, so worthless and ordinary is this piece that just wanted to survive and be with their family. Should a pawn make it to the opposite side however, it can become a Queen or any other piece, a lesson designed to teach players that if they betray their family and join the ranks of the enemy, they will be rewarded with fame, fortune, and optional gender fluidity.
Though only about 24 possible games are playable with chess, two less than tic-tac-toe, many books have been written on Chess Theory by lonely people hoping to impress someone with how smart they think they are. This has sadly never worked.
Chess grew popular in America in the 60s and 70s due to the celebrity of chess master Bobby Fischer, but declined soon after when Fischer claimed that Jews were to blame for everything bad, Jews were evil, and he hoped that all the Jews would die. Being Jewish himself, he then died. He was then dug up again (f8=P?) and reburied by order of the Bishop (Bxf8#).
Chess has only recently made a comeback owing to new and interesting chess variants such as 4 Player Bughouse Chess, Three-Man Chess, 5D Chess with Multiverse Time Travel, and Checkers (with chess pieces because I forgot where I put the checkers).
The most interesting thing ever to happen in Chess occurred in 2021 when the Double Bongcloud Position was introduced to top competitions. And that sentence isn't even unreality.
Reblogged runtisgruntle
they call themselves cinephiles but they aren't even fucking the movies
Maybe jealous filmcels won’t get to with their blu-rays and 4k scans but true cinephiles know that the hottest movies come on reels.
Views from rural Kansas in the U.S.A.
Kansas is a state in the American midwest, featuring the great Rocky Mountains, shores the Atlantic Ocean, Cliffs of Moher and their ancient Minoan castles, statues of the Argonath, the beaches of the Pacific ocean, over 15,000 miles of the U.S. border with Brazil, and all 333 isles of southern Lake Michigan.
Kansas has been captured on film by many prestigious photographers including Vince Lombardi, Tom Landry, and Jesus Christ (the 1960s photographer, not the biblical messiah). The diverse landscapes of Kansas have been features in thousands of movies including 12 Angry Men, Panic Room, and Toy Story.