take your broken heart and turn it into art

god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait

"Not beating the ___ allegations" is such a 'now' turn of phrase, implying as it does a world where everyone's behavior is always on literal trial by a guilt-presuming judge and jury that consists of anyone who happens to be paying attention.

Not beating the panopticon allegations

dinosaurs are like the coolest thing possible for a child to learn about. it’s like hey i know you were just borned but giant monsters are real and they fought each other in wars for 100000000000 years and then blew up when the sky exploded.

Snoopy's first thought

i will defend to the grave that literary analysis IS enjoyable and a valid hobby but it's amazing how a hyperfixation on The Character will have you writing essays for fun

an essay can be a playlist or a fanfic where they get railed btw. the definition is flexible.

*approaching the four horsemen of the apocalypse* are you looking for a fifth

*approaching the seven deadly sins* are you looking for an eighth

spending 20 dollars is easy but once you do it 5 times uh oh

you should be able to spend 20 dollars at least 10 times before it adds up to one hundred dollars

“you should be at the club” Brother I should literally be sent to the seaside for my health

really glad that I have curated my fandom experience such that every time I see a post complaining about the rampant demonization or hatred of a female character I don't even know who they could possibly be referring to because my dash is 100% support for women's wrongs. I cannot think of the last time I saw a condemnation of a fictional woman even though I am assured that it is happening somewhere. on my dash a woman can literally eat people and the whole chat will still stan her

the day that the lotus hotel episode of the percy jackson series airs gay people online will become more annoying than ever before. people zooming in on grainy images of extras. people screaming when they see someone with dark hair. the specter of nico di angelo shall be upon us

hey asshole! you lifted up the rock and now I have to scuttle! motherfucker!

we really fucking popped off with words for being up to no good. scam. fraud. swindle. nefarious. dastardly. ne'er-do-well. diabolical. scheme. rogue. knave. there are real classics.

"dont worry about it kitten" "okay yaayyyy <3" has also ruined my vocabulary somewhat

oh come on