Can I request actual gentleman thief au scenario where Akira is pulling heists under the name Arsene Lupin and S/O is the detective trying to catch him but gets their heart stolen by our charming and stupidly attractive phantom thief? :3

honestly the best (and basic) AU ever. just saying

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“Where is he!?”

“Send more guards!”

“Quickly! To the entrance!”

Out of the loud, clunking of metal armor that the palace guards, you hurried to the top of the tower, hoping that your legs won’t give out on you. Your lungs were already burning by each step but you held out. Not when your target is already so close. The narrow stone walls didn’t help in giving you some oxygen or the stairs so thin that your ankles were almost breaking.

With one final push, you’ve reached the top. You swung open the door and raised your voice to the red-clad thief.

“Hold, Arsene Lupin!”

The man in question stopped his movements. The only sounds were the winds lapping against your ears and your heart’s heavy beating. He wore the bright red coat that was an eyesore to you and the ridiculous top hat that was the basis for his logo. He slowly turned to face you, his face obscured by a white mask. His eyes were dark, full of mysterious intent and his smirk. His goddamn smirk that led you to pull your hair out every time you look at it.

How theatrically dramatic.

“My detective,” He purred, “you grow more alluring each time we meet.”

You swallowed in your saliva and straightened your posture. “Silence, thief! You have no where to go!”

Clearly, you were meant to say that in a threatening tone but with your already burning lungs, shaky legs, and palpitating heart it was like your voice is a rusty knife trying its best to cut vegetables.

Arsene chuckled, extending his free arm out and curled it back in to bow extravagantly. “Til we meet again, my fair detective.”

He jumped off the ledge with the treasure. You gasped as you ran to the edge, hoping that he wasn’t that stupid to jump off without gear. With a strangled yelp, you saw him with a make-shift set of wings to glide away from the palace.

“Damn it all…” You muttered.

After a few weeks (and a sore body) you immediately brought yourself back to the case.

Arsene Lupin, a gentleman thief renown for his insane acts of thievery and the ever famous calling cards. The objects in question were delivered to mostly corrupt royalties and other criminals the state guards can’t catch. You’ve yet to know his true motives, only piecing tiny pieces that he targets only those who “have distorted desires”.

Whatever that means.

It infuriates you to no end that he always eludes you. You’re a staunch detective, one of the best by all means. With Arsene’s wicked sense of justice, you took pride in taking his case. Call yourself delusional (it’s better that than Sae, no joke), but you were dead-set on taking him in prison.

Not in that context.

The worst part of your job is that the youth of the city were against you catching Arsene. They argue on about he’s the true advocate for justice and not the “useless” soldiers they have. They are slightly right though, not going to lie.

Still…

“He’s good.” You concluded to yourself. “Too good for me to even pinpoint his whereabouts.”

You were back at the palace he previously raided. Other detectives were scattered everywhere, searching for any evidence of the thief. Though you knew better they were for naught. Arsene is cunning enough to never leave anything behind.

“Honestly why would I even bother?” You said to another detective. “We know he’s slippery.”

The detective chuckled. “I won’t conclude it that easily.”

You gave him a pointed stare. “How would you know?”

He smirked and grab something from his coat pocket. “We found this inside a jewelry box in the princess’s chambers. I believe this is something you should read.”

You glared at him and lowered your gaze to his hand and gasped. A red card with his logo. With fidgeting hands, you grasped the card, holding it like it’s like a bomb that could go off whenever. You breathed in and flipped it over:

To the marvelous detective that leads a ray of hope for justice,

Your days of chasing my case will soon come to a close

There is one last treasure I’ve yet to take

Meet me where the last time we parted, love.

“He’s dead—” You muttered. “I’m going up to him with my bare hands and slay him.”

The detective immediately backed off from your words. In fact, anybody who stood your way scurried far from you. The people slowly dwindled down as you entered the same tower you climbed.

Suddenly your stomach didn’t feel so good.

“My god…” You breathed out, taking one more step. “I hope he knows what he’s up for when I’m up there.”

You weren’t just going to kill him; you’re going to cut every limb off his body, slowly, and bury them all in different places. With one final push, you opened the tower door. You breathed in and out as many times as you could before confronting him.

And is god toying with you, he isn’t even here.

“Goddammit, Arsene!” You screamed at the empty space. “I will seriously hunt you down with a saber and—”

Gloved, slender fingers covered your vision. “Don’t be like that, love. You look adorable by just trying to catch me.”

You brought your head back to hit him. He let out a short grunt of pain as you turned around to push him away. He was having none of that however, he wrapped his arms around you, trapping your arms inside. With each struggle, Arsene pulled you to himself closer. You squirmed against him, hitting your fists against him but it feels like it’s all for naught. The man wrapped his arms around you tighter. After a few minutes, you slacked your struggling as he lets out a breath of relief.

“What do you want, thief?” You spat out.

He grumbled. “I could do without your poisonous words.”

“Live with it, Lupin.”

He groaned and hung his head low. Then he brought it back up, this time with the god-forsaken smirk on his face.

“What would it take for me to take your heart?”

“Your obituary.”

He huffed, smirk disappearing. “You grow more alluring and more rotten each time we meet.”

“Your lines are getting more redundant each time we meet. Tongue-tied, Arsene?” You teased.

He didn’t say anything, instead grabbing both your hands in his and twirled you around, somehow resulting with you in a dip with him dangerously close to your lips.

“What can I say, darling?” He whispered, breath fanning your face.  “You have me speechless.”

He lifted you up, remembering to keep his strength if you attempted to run. He placed his hand on your back as he clasped the other.

Waltz, eh?

“What are you up to, Arsene?” You said to him, choosing to follow what he’s doing.

“Remember what I said, love?” He replied, slowly swaying your bodies as his left hand crept up to your left chest, fingers hovering over your heart. “There’s one last treasure I’ve yet to take.”

If your heart was beating hard during the climb, it was ripped to shreds when he leaned forward, coal eyes burning with intensity. “Your heart, love. Will you let me take it?”

are you ok

disney built the biggest and most expensive animatronic ever in their history and then built a mountain around it and it BROKE a couple of months after the ride opened and it’s impossible to fix it without dismantling the entire mountain structure and that’s honestly the most hilarious verified disney fact™ ever

the second most hilarious being that the chum animatronic on the finding nemo ride at epcot used to pop out of the barrel to scare guests but one time a cast member was walking past it during an opening/closing procedure and it popped out and smacked them clean in the face so now it’s turned off permanently