The more I see those “love is love” memes, the angrier I get.
If you’ve never been afraid to hold hands in public, don’t you fucking dare tell me that our love is the same.
You support love? Bully for you. But guess fucking what? Love isn’t in danger. No one is murdering love in its places of refuge. As @superstarellecollins pointed out yesterday, homophobia isn’t just or even mostly about whom you love. It’s about gender norms: the way you walk and dress, the way you talk and look. And when you’re looking at the margins from the center, professing your love for love is significantly easier and less socially risky than professing love for people who break those rules.
And that’s what makes your allyhood cowardly half-assed bullshit. If you’re going to be an ally, be an ally to the people, not just the attractive abstract concept. Put your money where your mouth is. Don’t just love love. Love nonconforming queers who dare to walk alone as themselves in public.
Love people it’s dangerous to love. Stand in solidarity with those of us who don’t have the option of retreating to the comfort of platitudes. Love queens & bulldykes & trans people who don’t pass. Don’t buy into the HRC love-looks-the-same-for-everyone gentrified queerness. It doesn’t. It shouldn’t have to.
Love doesn’t need you to defend it. Love will be okay. But we are human and real. We are vulnerable and terribly, terrifyingly fragile. Don’t love love. Love us; because your love is the only thing that has a chance in hell of keeping us alive.