I’m watching bridezillas and can’t get over this stripper’s name

I am a glorified office administrator who understands server hardware why am I the only person in this company who gets what social engineering is?

Total stranger on the phone who we’ve never spoken to before: I have power of attorney over the CEO of this corporation and we are a customer of yours. Please change the administrator password on the server to XXXXX

My boss, putting on white grease paint and a red wig: Oh, of course! Let’s do it quickly so that you’ll want to keep working with us since you’re going to be making business decisions!

Me: I would sell you to satan for one corn chip and I’m allergic to corn but before you do this maybe you should call someone who is actually on our contact list for our customer and see if they’ve ever heard of this stranger.

My boss, looking through a selection of shoes that honk when you walk: Oh, but she said that it was very important that none of the employees know what was happening because they’re making staffing changes.

Me: As your lawyer I recommend that you just call a single one of our contacts and see if they’ve ever heard of her name.

My boss, shoving all of our technicians into a VW beetle: You’re not my lawyer.

Me: HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW? I COULD BE! YOU SHOULD MAYBE CHECK ON THAT.

TIL everyone’s employee ID at my company is the last five of their SSN.

Boss: On the bright side, it’s only the last five

Me: YOU CAN COMMIT FRAUD WITH FOUR

Security firms that are hired to check the security of banks will often use the following tactic: They will walk up to the teller in a suit with their ID badge and a clipboard and go:

“Hello I am [name] from [security firm] we’ve been hired to verify the security of the facility I need to see your computers.”

“Erm…I’ll have to verify that with my managers.”

“Congratulations, you have just passed the security verification.” [Scribbles on clipboard] “But in all seriousness I do need to verify your security so I need to see your computers.”

“Oh okay.” AND LETS THEM IN.

“Social engineering” is a way too fancy word for what it is. I know a guy (not personally) who broke several people out of prison by essentially writing “Greetings, please release this person, signed, whoever the judge is” on a piece of paper and faxing it there. Because no one would have a fax machine in their own house I guess.

not to derail, but holy shit that praxis

i??????? sksjsbzvsvshdhsbdb

update:

As you can see I have strong feelings about the orgy scene in Cats

the w-what

Gdi

I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife! That’s right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin’ quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was “this big,” and I said “that’s disgusting,” so I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you’ve got a small dick, It’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like! That’s right, baby, tall points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what, I’m gonna fuck the Earth! That’s right, this is what you get: my SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I’m not gonna piss on the Earth, I’m gonna go higher!! I’m pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth! Now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!

Happy one year anniversary to the video that gave us this improvised gem.

@officialreigenfacts reigen, how do you do it?

Hah? Oh, the rasengan?

It’s all about chakra control and rotation. Please be mindful of it

Ah… that’s not quite what I meant.  To specify- how are you so ugly?

NASA playing God.

Holy shit

WHAT THE FUCK?!

cleaning out lint traps can be a fun thing to do. with friends or on your own

Had a dream last night Justin McElroy died but the next mbmbam he was still there and introduced himself as “I’m your deadest brother, Justin ‘Ghost’ McElroy”

“Boobooboopboopboobaboop hot off the presses we just got in another haunted doll watch; it’s me, I’m the haunted doll.”

When a coworker asks you to cover their shift

just looked up my symptoms on webmd turns out i just need someone to kiss give me one good honest kiss and i’ll be alright

this is the funniest thing i’ve seen on tumblr today and it’s not even a post