bruh

Friend: I have a job, a car and I’m doing really well in school, what about you?

Me:

#Konami #kojima #mgsv #deathstranding #videogames #metalgearsolid #normanreedus #hideokojima

im afraid

You’re gonna have to physically get into the game and fight alongside a naked Norman reedus for 4 real time months.

Periods are canceled for 2018. This year, I don’t want to bleed unless it’s from a wound I earned in honorable combat.

do you ever wake up and just crave intimacy? Like you’d give anything to have woken up with someone’s arms around you and to be able to feel their breath on your neck? Idk i’m lame

there is soooo much beauty in being a good person 

Hillary Duff: let the rain fall down .. and wake my dreams … let it wash Away … my sanity

Me, 9 years old:

remember twilight and how edward and bella couldn’t do it bc edward was afraid he’d fuck her to death?

i remember bella willing to die for the dick

goths: melancholy

emos: depressed

punks: angry

titties: out

please love me in the most soft and loyal way. I’m so tired.

my dentist had so many fingers in my mouth i almost called him “daddy”.

Yall are fuckin weird

you don’t go to the dentist?

All our generation wants is a small apartment and a spouse that loves them back.

isn’t rick and morty that thing you get when you die and your body gets all stiff

No, thats rigor mortis

rick and morty is a type of tube-shaped pasta

You’re thinking of rigatoni

rick and morty is a numbering system that ranks earthquakes based on seismograph oscillations

no, youre thinking of richter scale.

rick and morty is the pixar movie about a rat who wants to learn how to cook among humans

nah, thats ratatouille

rick and morty is the rich kid from fairly odd parents 

That’s Remy Buxaplenty,

Rick and Morty is when you send somone a link or a video and “Never Give You Up” plays

you’re thinking of Rickrolling

Rick and Morty is the 1893 short story by Rudyard Kipling about a young mongoose

no, that’s Rikki Tikki Tavi…

Rick and Morty is a Latin-American pop star best known for “Livin’ La Vida Loca”

No, that’s Ricky Martin.

Rick and Morty is the packaged rice mix that comes in different flavors and is called “the San Francisco treat”.

No, that’s Rice a Roni

Rick and Morty is the term for a lengthy and complicated procedure

No, that’s a rigamarole.

Rick and Morty is a two or three-wheeled passenger cart.

anyone in this thread smoke weed

The origin story to end all origin stories

idk i really like being called cute but i also really like hearing that you masturbate to the thought of me idk

Wisest words of this century

This is the realist shit ever spoke

“You. Come. Here.”

“M-Me?”