Pinned
I love you
Sorry to only come on tumblr to be sad, but sometimes I don't know how I'm supposed to function with this amount of grief in my body
#and the truth is I'm not functioning#a doctor told me the second year of grief is often hardest#which hasn't been helped by almost dying in hospital last month#i mean i'm being slightly melodramatic but the doctors left me to starve and dehydrate#and the morphine couldn't touch the pain#and all I could think of was my Dad and what he'd been through#and also how this was the first big scary thing I was going through without him#and I'm still really fucked up from that experience#and my therapist has ghosted me#I'm just tired and sad and want my Dad
I've been away from tumblr for a few months. In October 2021, my Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 neuroendocrine pancreatic cancer. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. He already followed me on tumblr, so I filled my feed with things he would like so he had something new and interesting (or a cute cat) to see every day. (I was already posting a lot for him, but now my queue was entirely for him.) It was a small thing, but I wanted to do anything to help make him smile or distract him. As it was a neuroendocrine cancer, there were treatment options, and soon he was back to living life as if nothing was wrong. But I still kept my queue running for him. In November 2023, a scan was misread. They told my Dad his cancer was responding well to treatment, and he wouldn't need any more nuclear medicine for two years. Unfortunately, this mistake meant my Dad passed away on January 26th 2024. There's no question that this is the worst thing to ever happen to me. My Dad is the person I am/was closest to in the whole world. I've never felt pain like this. I don't know what to do with my tumblr now. I've had it for over a decade, but I've been posting for my Dad for so long that it feels wrong to post without him. I know that's silly. I just miss him so much.
I'm going to post the eulogy I wrote for him below the cut. I don't expect anyone to read it, but I want it to exist somewhere online. I'm really proud of it. It has mistakes - repetitions of words etc. - but I also think it's the best thing I've ever written, because it's about my Dad.
Reblogged heathenkweer
“Every Italian noble in the medieval commune era” - ENGLISH SUBTITLES
ENGLISH SUBTITLES:
A: My lord, we have some leftover bricks. I thought we could build-
B: A tower.
A: But we’ve already built thirteen, and 57 workers died last time….
B: We talked about this already: a single rope wasn’t enough. I’ve already - mea culpa.
A: I was thinking of a differently shaped building, a shorter building.
B: Never saw a short tower.
A: A library….a hospital….
B: Never saw a tower-shaped hospital.
A: I am NOT talking about towers, my lord. We can build something else!
B: Do you know what’s bugging me: What will people think if we don’t build another tower??
A: *sighs*…..they’re going to think you’re gay?
B: Exactly! Go! Summon the surviving builders and let’s get to work!
And less anybody think this video is exaggerating the degree of rampant tower building in late medieval Bologna:
Reblogged bunjywunjy
gracehsong-deactivated20170104
I’ve reblogged this before but there are some new ones!
These are awesome
sleepwithgiggli
that last one is brilliant. They probably won’t jump.
Reblogged scientia-rex
red-lipstick
freedom4pizza
Soo Sunny Park (b. Seoul, Korea) - Unwoven Light at Rice University’s Rice Gallery in Houston, Texas. Composed of 37 individual sculptural units, the installation uses iridescent plexi-glass embedded in pieces of a chain link fence to cast shimmering, colorful reflections across the spacious gallery.
Reblogged erinmorgenstern
Fog Spirits dancing in the Moonlight by Kinko White
Reblogged therealmofspooky
Cat selfie at a food court. Comic practice
The girl, the myth, the legend
Reblogged tokentrans
Fondly remembering the time that a cat owner casually entered their calico Maine Coon in a cat fancier’s competition and the judges lost their minds because the cat was 1) male and 2) able to bear children
Anyway here’s Dawntreader Texas Calboy as a silly lil kitten
Here’s an excerpt from one of the articles about the drama his entry caused among the Cat Fanciers that I thought was very earnest and sweet <3
And also some of Calboy’s children!
He is fearfully and wonderfully made!
ALT
I was about to say he would technically be an intersex king (not because I dislike the concept of trans cats, just bc intersex rep is sorely needed too) but I did some more reading on this icon and actually found the article OP referenced.
ALT
He’s not your usual male calico kitty as it turns out. That’s already cool and rare, but he’s even cooler and rarer than that!
ALT
ALT
Calboy is a chimera!! Which is really fucking cool of you ask me. The chances of having a male calico this way are slim to none, but the mad lad still exists! What an icon. I would die for Calboy.
Everyone in the tags of this post @ cat show judges
Originally I was looking for an adult picture of Calboy
(He’s so pretty 🥰)
But I also found a source for the article screenshotted above! And folks it’s WILD. It’s an incredibly interesting read if you happen to love hearing about niche hobby drama. It’s also just a fantastically written article!
The parts I find the most interesting are about how conservative the cat fanciers association is. This isn’t even all of the parts that talk about that.
People are so mad about this cat spefically because he has female colors. An animal who couldn’t choose how it was born. This is happening in Texas by the way. Hm. I wonder how they treat trans people over there?
Reblogging again for this crucial addition
wait i’m sorry
people are being transphobic. towards a cat.
what the actual fuck.
