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A year ago today I was in my room getting ready, not saying much of anything. All I could think about was how nervous I was. I don’t really know how to explain it. Maybe not even nerves, maybe it was more anxiety than anything. I could hear Mason every once in a while getting ready across the hall and I would start crying. When it was finally time to start the ceremony, I was practically shaking. It’s not like I thought I’d fall (except it is me so kinda), or that he’d run before I got there. I don’t know how to describe it. As soon as I got to the end of that aisle, that man would leave with me as my husband. When it was finally my time to walk down and I saw him looking back at me, I completely lost the sliver of composure I had left. He was going to be mine forever and I think that is what true, unfiltered happiness really feels like; the realization that you never have to look or worry or doubt. The person you are so incredibly in love with, that makes you happy every single day even at their worst, is choosing you to be with for the rest of their lives. When I looked at him and saw him crying (sorry Mason, but yes I saw and I will never forget) I knew we were sharing the same thoughts.

Our first year of marriage has been filled with incredible moments. Our first home, his new job, milestones with our daughter. We also unfortunately shared the most difficult experience of my life. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be asked every day for weeks, by the person you love the most, “Why?” He never tried to make sense of it, he never tried to explain it. He just held me and let me be weak for as long as I needed. He said, “The worst part wasn’t our loss for me, it was seeing how broken you were. I don’t think I could go through that again.” He shared my pain with me so that I didn’t have to carry it alone. I wish I could tell you exactly what it was that he did, but it’s just too hard to put into words. I have said many times that when Mason and I started dating that he saved me, and that’s really the best way to describe it. He absolutely saved me, again.

I could go on entirely too long (too late, right?) on everything that makes me love him: what an incredible father he is, how he works so hard to take care of us, how he is so kind and selfless, how he still makes me laugh until I cry when we should be sleeping…

This man is mine, and I am his, and I will try my very hardest to never, ever forget this feeling for the rest of our lives. Although, I can’t imagine one day I won’t get butterflies when I hear his key in the door.

Happy anniversary Mason Halsey. You are everything.

Photo by Stephanie Parsley Photography