purveyor of fine memes

If DPH or JHACO or whoever, EVERRRR again say anything about drinking water or taping paper to walls, I 100% WILL lose my shit.

Megatron being a super famous gladiator before starting the war makes me laugh. Like imagine if John Cena started a revolution that eventually destroyed the world.

i love dimitri

Alone…

sometimes, she sees him in her dreams. I can’t draw happy things after seeing Tros…

25-35 is such a weird fucking age because you’re 100% a bread-and-butter Standard Edition Millennial but the cool teens are like “ok boomer” because you have a Real Job but the actual Boomers at your job are like “I’m not going to listen to a literal fucking child” as they download 16 self-replicating viruses and meanwhile the Gen Xers are telling you to refinance a mortgage for a house you don’t have and you’re sitting there at the Adults Table with the pretty tasty casserole you cooked because you’ve finally figured out how to do that now but everyone is eating the Boomer’s store-bought macaroni instead and admittedly they do sort of taste similar so it probably wasn’t worth all the trouble of cooking from scratch and you’re trying to comfort the freshly-graduated sobbing 22-year-old next to you because she just woke up here and doesn’t know where she is but you have like maybe 5k dollars in a savings account labelled RETIREMENT that grows approx. twelve cents a year and you keep eating dry macaroni while smiling incomprehensibly and periodically blacking out like ??????????

there was a shift somewhere this decade within the Extremely Online (Tumblr Edition) when CGL/ageplay went from ‘odd but ultimately harmless kink’ to ‘cringeworthy viral joke’ to ‘actual pedophilia’ and not to be all ‘first they came for the littles and i said nothing’ here but there is Something about the way sex-negativity, ‘woke’ shipping, and soft-uwu-pure culture intertwine on a website whose discourse is primarily fueled by people who come off as being, let’s say, inexperienced in the world at large

by which i mean, in a roundabout way, that the impulse to frame your identity, your desire, your love as something good and “““pure”““ is on one hand a radical act - you may have been told you’re a sinner, that you’re an abomination, that there’s something wrong with you. so, then, to go ‘hey actually i just want to hold someone’s hands and make tea for them’ is…powerful, yanno. You’re normal, you’re regular, you’re safe, you’re not a deviant, you’re not like that you’re not wrong -

which, yes, good. but defining worth and goodness and, hell, purity in terms of the Soft Vanilla and the Broadly Acceptable and the Uncomplicated is. iffy. some of the attitudes i see towards consent or the difference between a story, a scene, and reality are…iffy. someone entering little space is not advocating pedophilia, pups and furries aren’t advocating bestiality, someone negotiating a non-consensual scene is not advocating rape, someone writing incest porn isn’t advocating incest, and none of them are bad people because the Consenting Adult Human Fiction Form of whatever the dynamic is makes them happy. or, whatever, like - a trans person with a misgendering kink doesn’t have any more internalized transphobia than someone without, just some things got spat out of the lived experience and landed in the Fuck Zone. why are we still so mad at people being horny this is like ancient drama except now it’s ok to touch a genital as long as you’re in romantic love and it’s in the missionary position and you made at least one Austen reference

and in a smaller, interrelated way, the impulse to frame fanfiction as something that is Good and Positive and Transformative and Progressive and…pure? The good stuff, anyway, not like that nasty stuff. Fanfiction is important! it matters! it’s Good™! which means we gotta take a stand against Bad Ships! like fuck dudes youse all aint know how to be chill if this is what you do with the hugo nom i honestly gotta put fanfic back in the dweeb closet like let’s just go back to geocities and join XFiles mpreg webrings

the bartender asks you to pay halfway through your drink, but you can just get up and leave and he’ll just watch you leave and say nothing