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calmer than you dude

@pastelgrungenova-blog / pastelgrungenova-blog.tumblr.com

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I smoke

Not because I think it's cool, Or because I think i look edgy doing it I do it because it helps. It helps my stress and lowers my anxiety, and yes; I know it's killing me. I know it's slowly killing me, destroying my lung and wrinkling my skin and rotting my teeth. But I'm dying. And maybe you don't know, hell; maybe you just don't care. But I want to die. I'm suicidal. I look around my body, waiting to notice a new lump or start to feel pain wherever. I don't smoke because it makes me feel alive. I smoke because I know I'll die.

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Halloween Asks

Bat: If you could transform into any kind of animal, what animal would you be?
Black Cat: Are you superstitious? If so, what are you superstitious about?
Broomstick: If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be?
Candy Corn: What food disgusts you the most?
Cauldron: What is your favorite thing to cook?
Cobwebs: One place you would never want to get lost in in the dark?
Coffin: Are you claustrophobic?
Demon: What is your worst flaw?
Eerie: One thing that always creeps you out?
Fright: What is your biggest fear?
Ghost: If you could be reincarnated, would you come back as another human or an animal? If an animal, what kind?
Gravestone: Ideal way you'd like to die?
Haunted House: If you could be roommates with anyone of your choice, who would you pick?
Hocus Pocus: What is the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?
Howel: Your favorite kind of dog?
Jack-o'-lantern: Do you have any scars? If so, how many?
Monster: What is your favorite scary movie to watch in the dark?
Mummy: Would you rather be buried or cremated when you die?
Potion: What is your favorite thing to drink? Alcoholic and non alcoholic?
Pumpkin: What is your favorite food around the holidays?
Scream: Easiest way to scare you?
Skeleton: Tell me one of your biggest secrets?
Spooky: What was your last nightmare about?
Trick or Treat: Tell me about the greatest prank you've ever pulled?
Vampire: Which one are you? Early bird or night owl?
Witch: If could have the power to cast any kind of spell, what kind of spell would you cast?
Zombie: What is one food you always overeat?
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minty-sweets

I’m off my medications

Yeah, my parents stopped paying for my medications and I NEED HELP I don’t have a therapist and without my medications I go borderline psychotic sometimes. My meds are covered by insurance but that still leaves me paying around $80 for them. I need help now more than ever, I can take from my money I currently have for helping my girlfriend out with moving, but that’s only $96. I’m seriously begging you for money. I have a redbubble, etsy, my donation box is open, I’ll paint you some canvas shoes if needed. Just please… I need my medication…

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mamamidnight

Please, guys. I’m fucking begging you.

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soulsighs

aesthetic themed ask list

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

fin.

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book--quotes

ANYONE? IVE BEEN UP SINCE 430

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i hate this fucking myth that going through a trauma makes you a better human being???? like i told a friend about how i was abused as kid and she was like ‘well yeah but didnt that make you be a kinder person?’ like no???? it fucked me up thats what it did??? stop fucking romanticizing this shit or im coming for your ass?????

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Had a dream last night where I was putting on mascara before work and I got my lashes perfect. They looked like freaking fake eyelashes they were so perfect. But as I went to do the other eye the first one started to clump together so I immediately grabbed my hairspray and sprayed myself. in the eye. For perfect eyelashes. 

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*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: “ARE YOU OKAY?”

Me: “Please… I need my… phone”

*opens TUMBLR*

Me: “LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT”

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inkskinned
it is a terrible thing to love the unreachable;   i found this out on a friday night where in a whole room of people the world starts and ends on your lips and  i knew i was staring at  the dusting of your freckles but couldn’t resist   it is a terrible thing to love  your friends   i am burning alive  for it.
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belovedbane

Concept: I finish school. The job I work isn’t my dream job but I enjoy doing it greatly still. It pays enough to cover everything I might need. My bills are never overdue. Money is not a thought in my head. I have a place to live. So do my dogs. It is nice and warm, I have some plants, my bookshelves are full, my sheets are always clean. There is time to read at the end of a day. I read a lot. Thinking is a good thing. I meet up with friends regularly, old and new. They love me. We make memories. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I travel a few times a year, always different places. The places I see steal my breath away. The people I meet teach me of life. They are good. There is no war. The sea calls to me and pay visit. I am independent. I am content.

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