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My Kingdom for a Joke

@nazgulkoopa / nazgulkoopa.tumblr.com

Brianna | 23 | she/her | queer lit nerd | the white wine mom friend
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Motel Funds for Homeless

My name is Alex! I’m a 21 year old Jewish Latina and I’m currently dating my boyfriend of over a year, Kleyton, a 22 year old Guatemalan immigrant.

I am chronically ill, and I cannot work. I have severe endometriosis and adenomyosis, 4 surgeries over the last 11 years of my life. I’m desperately waiting for the 5th, which has been stopped because of the virus. I’m in constant, bloody, pain and also can’t lift anything, which is why I can’t work. My boyfriend is a very hard worker, a construction man and a mechanic. He lost his construction management job with the corona virus closing down his site.

We have scraped by due to sw, donations, and a gofundme. But something happened Friday. Two of our roommates fought in a very horrid and scary display of domestic violence. She won’t do anything about it, and we can’t stay here waiting for him to beat her again. They’re also furious with us for being present during the event. This event has really harmed us, bringing up things from both of our pasts and making us scared and anxious and unsafe in our own home. We cannot stay here. We can’t be here while it’s unsafe and scary like that, we can’t take it. We have to move.

Because we JUST moved, we don’t have any money to again. And we gotta get out of here ASAP. We have to be some place safe where we can calmly find him work and keep pushing forward. Tomorrow, Monday the 29th, we will be moving into a hotel. We’ll have to pay daily until we find somewhere to go. There is a Super 8 for us to go to, and we’ll need $70 a day plus food expenses and various other things like our $40 phone line. We need help basically escaping here to the motel.

I take PayPal and cash app!! Please please please consider helping us. We’re very unsteady and scared and shaken right now. Reblogs will be so so appreciated, as well as good luck wishes/vibes. Please consider us in this scary time.

PayPal: paypal.me/omgmanagment (please label donations “for Alex”)

cashapp: $alexkaplan1

Mobile-friendly direct paypal link

Please label donations "for Alex"

please help if you can we really need some food we haven’t eaten, even $1 can help add up to us eating and saving for the motel room please help us eat if you can please

we are in the motel room, we need money to continue staying here and to eat. please please help us keep a roof over our heads and fill our stomachs, please. we are starving and scared.

Friday July 3rd: still in the motel and still needing help paying for it and food!! my boyfriend is working now but we’re fucked until he gets his first paycheck next Friday!!!

We really need some food lol and I’m not sure how we’re paying for Sunday night in the motel and I’m getting really scared, please please help us if you can we’re just trying to make it to Friday when he gets paid but we’re starving and I’m disabled and need some of my prescriptions too so please please help us if you can, even $1 adds up and we’re so grateful for every bit of well-wishing and sharing this

My doctor just took out $500 worth of back pay I owe her I just lost everything we had been saving to move into an actual room I lost everything and now I’m $226 negative in my account

I HAVE to get this taken care of fast because we have to pay for tomorrow night in the motel room or we will be on the street please please help us we’ll be homeless with two bags of clothes and the shoes on our feet we can’t eat I can’t get my medicine we’ll be on the street

I need $70 for tomorrow night in the room and $60 for the rest of my medicine !! We also need food! Please help!

$50/$130

Please I need at least $20 more to get our room for the night, please help us! we’ll have nowhere to go if we don’t have it by 11 am

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ACAB: border police destroyed everything i own and i was like barely staying alive anyway

ok so border police destroyed everything i own last week that wasnt literally in my backpack. like literally everything as in i own one shirt now. im unemployed (obviously) and disabled and homeless. i need money so i can stay alive and buy food meds etc…

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iv-fischer

hi dolls 💞 my GFM has been sitting for months and I really need to get the ball rolling. PLEASE reblog/donate/share I could really use all the help I can get !!!(since the website taxes donations 🙄)

Or you can donate to me directly:

cash app $ivfischer

venmo @ivfischer

paypal.me/ivfisch

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The actions of the police as a whole will seem senselessly violent, spiteful, and mean unless you view their tactics not as "riot control" or attempts to "maintain order" but as being derived from military tactics wherein they are trying to stamp out and destroy an enemy. Seizing masks meant for protestors will look petty until you identify that as a means of weaponizing the pandemic in a form of biological warfare.

The ongoing militarization of the police is coming to a head in this moment.

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Hey Olly, I’m pro free housing, but i often get stuck on how it would work? Like, how would who gets what housing be decided? What if everyone wants to move to a beach town but all the housing is taken—do people get on some kind of wait list? Should housing be run by the govt, or should it be generational, like you bequeath your housing? Idk when I think about a system where you apply to the govt for your housing and it gets approved or denied, I worry about corruption/tankie shit. Any thoughts?

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I get this a lot, and in the first instance I think it’s often framed in a pretty unrealistic way. I very much doubt everybody would suddenly want to move to a beach town because people put down roots wherever they are and have connections and jobs there.

That said, obviously people will want to move sometimes, just like now - so you’re right to think about how that would work! I can imagine that a local council, or some public body under local democratic control, would have a list online of all the properties that are currently empty. If you're looking to move you can browse the list, pick one you like, and apply! If more than one person applies for the same house then we can have a lottery system (unless it’s got special features that one person needs, like it’s on the ground floor and they can’t do stairs, in which case we can let them take priority there). Once you get the house you can pick up the keys and move in! You would be responsible for maintaining it, so once every so often someone from that local body will come round and say, “Hey, you need to clear the gutters or install some fire doors or whatever.” Once you’re done you give back the keys and move out! The important thing to realise is that whilst not everybody will get their first choice house - that is already true of the current system. No rent, no mortgages. The house is not owned by anybody and so it cannot be sold: homes are no longer the sorts of things that can legally be commodities.

Won’t there be corruption and people moving their friends up the list for the nicer houses? Almost definitely! Again though - real estate corruption already happens under the current system. At least this way nobody dies of homelessness and nobody amasses fortunes on the backs of other people’s misery.

Won’t this mean every estate agent and landlord is out of a job? Yup. But we will also be creating new jobs! Someone will need to administer that list, manage applications, show people round properties, inspect them... Seems like estate agents have a lot of transferrable skills that will be useful! Their new jobs will be much more stable since they won’t be conditional on the fluctuations in the housing market! Let’s make sure they’re unionised with pensions and decent wages while we’re at it!

But people won’t take care of the houses if they don’t own them! It’s hard to think of anything that has more evidence against it than this. Private renters already take care of housing which they don’t own because they live there. My landlord hasn’t set foot in my flat for three years: I do all the cleaning and repairs and I make it a home. The owner does zilch!

But what if someone wants to come into my house and just live there? Same thing that happens now if you rent, you have a right to privacy so you can tell them to leave? I don’t own the flat I currently live in, but I can control who comes in - even the owner is required to give me notice.

But I want to own a house someday so I can sell it and getta tha mon-ey! Tough titties I’m afraid. You don’t get to amass wealth at the expense of other human beings anymore.

I agree that the current housing crisis is a problem, but can’t we just introduce strong pro-tenant regulations? The housing market and the housing crisis are the same thing. That’s the point. Consider that every regulation you introduce will be challenged and eroded by the most rich and powerful people in the world. We have tried for over a century to regulate our way out of the housing crisis and it’s been a miserable, deadly failure. It’s time to cut the Gordian knot and realise that we will not solve the housing crisis until we do to landlords what Thatcher did to the miners: absolutely remove them as a political force.

But who will build new houses if nobody can sell them for a profit? We have a free healthcare system, don’t we? Why not a housing system too? It’s not perfect of course, and it’s vulnerable to privatisation by the backdoor, but if a job needs doing the government can pay people to do it - that is a thing that can happen.

But I already paid half my mortgage! Now you’re telling me my house isn’t an asset anymore? Admittedly, that sucks. But hey, at least you don’t have to pay the other half, and now you live in a society where you will never go homeless!

Won’t wages go down once people no longer have to pay rent or mortgages? Maybe. Sounds like a good reason to join a union and have robust minimum wage laws for everybody! But even if they did - if your living costs have just been reduced by half cause you aren’t paying rent anymore and there’s now zero chance that you will end up on the streets, you could lose some wages and still be fine.

But people won’t go to work if they don’t have to pay rent! Absolutely right. Would you still go to work at your shitty job if you had free housing? Would you maybe go half as much, and spend the other half doing something you actually enjoy? If your boss harasses you or makes your job miserable, aren’t you now in a much better position to say, “Screw your job!” Guaranteeing free housing puts a massive amount of power in the hands of workers and would expose just how coercive capitalism is! Suddenly, if rich people want their floors cleaned or their coffee served - well they’d better pay the person doing that job properly or it won’t get done. All the people who actually keep society running in low-paid shitty jobs are suddenly able to demand the respect they deserve. Every pro-worker party should be demanding free housing: it’s hard to think of a move that would benefit the working class more than taking away the threat of homelessness used to keep them in line.

Won’t banks be in serious trouble if mortgages suddenly aren’t a thing? Probably. Some might go under. They will not get bailouts - if bailouts are required they will go directly to the employees and customers, who, remember, have all just had their living costs massively reduced because they have free housing now. They will not end up on the streets because homelessness won’t exist. 

This is ridiculous! For most of human history housing was not a commodity. There is more empty housing now than homeless people. The fact that people find it difficult to imagine an alternative now is a function of Capitalist Realism, but a lack of imagination on their part isn’t a moral or intellectual failing on mine.

I’m a foreign billionaire and I bought loads of property in your country so I can leave them empty to inflate my assets/launder my money that I got from doing crimes. Now you’re telling me I’m going to lose everything cause you’re confiscating those properties and letting people live in them?! Get rekt lol

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femcassidy

i need critical mutual aid

hi, im will, im critically ill, and now im at my wits end. im a 22 year old disability educator living out in the south. im the co-chair for a handful of local events, involved closely with several LGBT/disability orgs, and well known-ish for being the Local Blind Person with the Pink Cane.

in late march i was sent to the ER by my clinics nursing hotline due to what sounded to them like a ruptured ovarian cyst. long story short: an ultrasound showed. it wasnt, and thus i was referred to a gastroenterologist for abdominal pain. since then ive been cycled through three meds.

  1. one worsened symptoms,
  2. the next did nothing,
  3. and the third made me sicker after i waited the allotted week to see if itd work.

the gastroenterologist also ordered a CT scan, bloodwork, etc—ruling out celiac or gastritis or what-have-you—and then abruptly left her practice without warning. my followup was with a nurse practitioner at the same clinic, who responded to my problems with the 3rd medication by upping the dosage from 72mg to 290mg.

this landed me in the ER because i misguidedly believed medical professionals always know what theyre doing. in a fit of nausea i crawled into a hot bath, where my hair started falling out in fistfuls. i developed what i was worried was tardive dyskinesia, something im still risking with essentially every medication i take. the next thing internal medicine tried me on had similarly awful effects, given that it interacts with each and every one of my other meds while also being known to make even mentally stable people uncontrollably suicidal.

now my psychiatrist wants to put me on fucking levodopa, im seeing another specialist today to try to cover all my medical blanks while i triage with a teaching hospital, and in the meantime im losing massive amounts of weight because eating puts me in pain. im taking my meds crushed in applesauce and drinking a metric fuckton of clear ensure with various nutritional powders added into it. ive gone from weighing 95lbs to 70lbs. the last time i worked was in mid april, im on a payment plan for 5 different ER visits, and i have no idea what im going to do moving forward.

right now im trying to put together around $2000 to cover one month of rent, co-pays, medication, bills, gas money, and replacing things like nasal cannula or oxygen concentrator parts. its a steep goal, but two doctors appointments is $100. going to physical therapy twice a week is $100. co-pays are kicking my ass, payment plans are still expensive, and thats after hitting my first deductible three months into the year. between all of the bullshit i havent worked in nearly a month, and my savings are slim. weve been lucky enough to receive grocery help from a local org, but we are in crisis here.

i can provide proof of hospitalization, co-pay, medications, and all other expenses via DM.

venmo: @cabwaylingo

buy my lesbian sherlock holmes adaptation: (link 3)

ko-fi: (link 4)

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reblogged

queer housing groups are a great place to meet people you would never, under any circumstances, want to live with.

queer housing groups are like:

“hi manhattan folx. we are both fresh out of school and looking to split rent 3/4s* with one (1) quiet femme roommate. wed prefer to live with someone who is not greek, cannot practice martial arts and was recently fired from their job.

we are looking for a quiet person because it is a MUST that you do not ever speak to my partner due to his inability to behave normally. if you need trouble him, you will pass messages beneath our bedroom door at precisely 3am on sundays only.

you mightve heard about us from our previous roommate, moon. she will be posting in various local groups saying we sold her ferret on craigslist. please PM me for more details.

we are looking for someone who

  1. is not mentally ill
  2. is not disabled
  3. will not be seen or heard
  4. does not have friends
  5. will wash dishes for us

you would be living in a cardboard box in our living room. we have a washing machine and dryer but ask that you do not use it, instead going to the laundromat down the street and matching whatever you paid them to pay us as well.

we are both lawyers but one of us roams the streets at night wearing a mask with horns and performing vigilante justice. you must be able to perform first aid at all hours. (and of course comfy doing this xo.)

people with leopard geckos and capricorns need not apply.

*as in you pay ¾ of the rent.”

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bideogaymes

i think im gonna use my unemployment to help pay for therapy facetime calls on talkspace

so my former therapist i saw before i went to jail 😭 is doing facetime therapy sessions and i want to do it but if i can get help paying for this id like to go with her bc she’s also Black queer woman & im familiar with her.

if you want to or can help me pay for weekly or bi weekly therapy sessions pls lmk! ill add my links to this post if anyone is interested in helping me stay sane & work on my mental health during this quarantine 💗

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MY BENEFITS ARE STILL SUSPENDED AND I DESPERATELY NEED HELP!!

*URGENT: PLEASE READ/SIGNAL BOOST*

Tuesday, May 5th: Hello everyone, I’m Gemma and sincerely apologise to be asking for help again but, I still desperately need help with my bills and getting groceries.

As most of you are already aware, I have been struggling financially for quite some time due to my welfare benefits being revoked, under the UK’s controversial changes to how benefits are assessed and assigned. And due to my mental health and some unfortunate DWP mess-ups, my benefits have been on and off sanctions for over a year now.

And despite receiving the results of my medical assessment in early February, which stated that I have a limited capability for work due to my chronic depression and extreme fatigue, my benefits have been suspended without warning or explanation. I have appealed the decision and made a new claim. However, I did the application 7 weeks ago and it is only now been processed, due to COVID-19 and an abundance of new applicants applying for benefits, so it could be several more weeks before I receive a U.C payment. 

These past few months have been absolute hell for me, and with no income, I’ve been relying on the kindness of others. However, due to quite a lot of late bills and fees, it’s been difficult to stay out of debt. I absolutely hate to keep asking for help but I am honestly at my wit’s end and desperately need some.

My goal, at the moment, is £200 to help me get by and pay off my overdue tax bill of £65, as well as helping me to get some groceries delivered as I cannot go to the supermarket, and it would really mean a lot to me if I could get some help. 

If anyone could spare any amount to help me, even if it’s just £1/$1/€1, it would literally save my life, and sharing definitely helps just as much as donations. Nobody is obligated in any way to donate if they can’t or don’t want to, I know we’re all struggling right now.

Thank you for your help 💖

£30/£200

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pipasyrup

redd animal crossing doesnt even know if the art hes selling you is fake he literally just gets it from god knows where and is like “this looks sick” and then puts it on his boat

he doesn’t know what it’s called either. he’ll be like “check out this Proper Painting. This Fat Nuts Statue” and Blathers takes one look at it to tell you “that’s Michelangelo’s David. where did you get this” 

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nakedpalette

TW ACCIDENT AND BRUISES

I need help and I hate asking for it but it’s getting all worse.

So last year (august) I got back surgery because I had an injury (I’m an actress, musician and I dance)

A month after this (September) I got hit by a car

Here are my medical results (sorry they’re in Spanish)

I also had an MRI but it was days before quarantine in my country started and they haven’t given me my results yet. I’ve also been directed to neurosurgery because I haven’t recovered yet, but still haven’t been able to get an appointment with them because of the quarantine.

I’m still working as a teacher but my job as a vocal director and actress has been put on hold so more than half of my income has decreased.

I have a lot of debt because I don’t have a car and I’ve been going to work and physical therapy vía taxi since I can’t be standing up in a moving bus for long (Peruvian public transport is messy) and physical therapy is expensive.

So I’ve been paying my debt since my accident with no incident, but now with half of my income gone, I’m in trouble.

I’m $1500 usd in debt. Doesn’t seem like much in dollars, but in Peruvian soles it is 5k soles.

So I’m in need of help. I’ve opened a PayPal account

Every contribution will help a lot! Even if it’s just $1

I hope you can help me.

Thanks a lot in advance.

Warmly,

Kiara

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femcassidy

hey, my other donation post lost traction so basically: i find out if i need open heart surgery tomorrow. my co-pay is $50 and i was unable to work today (i am a sex worker) due to falling unexpectably ill (not covid-19) and my paycheck for the camsite i use hasnt gone through yet. this is my last drs appointment of the month, where ive had 1-2 each week, and the most important. you can donate here and if i do need surgery, ill likely be starting a gofundme. thank you to everyone who has helped me along so far. my family owes you everything in this time. tizkeh lemitzvos.

venmo: @cabwaylingo

cashapp: $cabwaylingo

heres my proof of life and a cat. sorry for the poorly images but i am very blind and very stressed out

image description 1: a selfie of myself. i am a white coded trans person with medium length brown hair that is almost black, cat eyeliner, thick eyebrows, and many facial piercings—a medusa, a septum, and two nostril studs, all opal. i wear a brown flannel, soft nasal cannula, and a black beanie that says “be nice to sex workers.” i wear a single coyote tooth earring.

image description 2: my cat wesley, a large maine coon, sleeps on his side in my bed. he is dead asleep and very relaxed.

UPDATE: thank you all! my cardiologist ordered a TEE (transesophageal echocardiogram) after reviewing my first echocardiogram—which was an ultrasound—and hasn’t gone over the results of the first echo with me at all yet. our county and the neighbouring one have been placed under shelter-at-home due to COVID-19, but a medical emergency and a call to their nurse’s hotline has confirmed that i need to go to the ER. shit sucks

currently hooked to an IV while we wait on scan results

scan said “this isn’t good, but you don’t need emergency surgery!” so i’m home now. still need to pick up the 3 prescriptions i was sent home with, which i’m expecting to come out to anywhere in the $50–$70 range. hopefully the pain meds will let me work again. thank you to anyone who has helped so far, especially in the midst of this collective trauma

rent is coming up and i’m still not fully recovered & have been unable to work since march 26th which has cut into our income even further. any and all help making sure we can cover rent this month is appreciated. i feel like i’m trying to rush recovery so i can just start making money again which, as it turns out, is not conducive to recovery. thanks for reading

hey folks. we made rent and i paid off a past due ER bill, which means we’re broke again. this help has meant a lot while i sort out my health and take the time needed to recover

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Growing up with your starters

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chabbit

The captions are also really cute, although they mostly describe what’s in each photo:

Bulbasaur: Somehow, nomming on my clothes… has become a weird habit of theirs.

Venusaur: That hasn’t changed now that they’ve grown, but they’re very gentle.

Charmander: It’s my first attempt, but I made a plushie so that he wouldn’t get lonely.

Charizard: That plushie seems to be his favorite even now.

Squirtle: Squirtle’s a bit timid and hides behind me at the smallest things.

Blastoise: Looks like they’re scared of the first Pichu they’ve seen. You’re not really hiding!

This is adorable

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imaghosttown

“They like to fawn around like a spoiled kid between my arms”    “Since they got big, They’ve become bold.”

“They hold my hands, playfully touching.” “He’s not obedient, he touches my hands when I sleep/nap.”

“They seek attention when I’m sulking.” “Now they’re big, they do it unwaveringly, but, It’s a little cute…”

“When they worry, they wrap (their tail) around things.” “Since becoming big, they’re restrained.” 

“When it’s attention time, they take their place in my clothes.”  “Uh,,, my clothes,, oh you’re so happy, well, in that case it’s good…”

“They hold out a pretty flower for me.” “Today, they held out a (spring flower?) to me. Thanks!!” 

Thank you for the updated translations!

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