архангел

(i miss her and it’s not fair)

it’s friday

my saturn return is over on tuesday, same day as the full virgo moon

i lost my mind when saturn was in aquarius, completely

left my body multiple times

grappled with sobriety, 600 days of being without alcohol

but i was smoking almost every day of those 600 days

it has been one week now since i have had any alcohol or weed

i even gave up coffee

the places i went, from oregon to washington, driving across the states to be back in minnesota, to realizing i can’t stand it there, driving to colorado and almost getting sex trafficked in wyoming at a motel, to realizing my family in colorado also was not serving my highest good, but in fact harming it, to living in the desert alone out of my truck and spending my days in peace, to the mountains where i lived with goats and steer, and fucking up so bad and driving through winter storms all the way through utah and idaho and back to oregon, back to the city i loved before my abuser ran me out of there, and to the coast, where i fell in love with another narcissist. i’m gone now and i left her there. i bought us a puppy and i miss this puppy more than i ever thought i could miss. i never wanted to be a mother

there is something called an empath supernova, which is when an empath has had quite enough, and explodes like a star and destroys the ego of a narcissist. the empath is also left destroyed, but it is time to reinvent, to transform, to transmute all of that pain into something beautiful and tangible and of unconditional love.

tuesday, saturn is entering pisces, my eighth house

and i wonder what will happen

and i wonder if the next person i love will treat me as i deserve

i always hated being treated like an object -

i love women

half of you wants me, half of you wants everything else

routines

rituals (morning, before bed)

edibles and mushrooms with orange juice

good playlists ready

creativity / right brain - input and output needed (!) (?)

consciousness and the laws of the universe, vibration chart (just google it)

air, earth, fire, water + spirit

transmuting addiction by merging with your higher self

i love you

tour photos pt. iii

tour photos pt. ii (at The Highway) https://www.instagram.com/p/CgFWTiMuEGL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

summer 2022: on tour, being the photographer, for a good friends band. changed a tire in a dress. tour feels like quantum jumping and i’m trying to keep the emotions good, but that full moon X my moon cycle had other plans. lot of realizations and the next full moon is in my 1st house, and i’m expecting a lot of goodness to come. remembering when tumblr was everything to me. it helps me to remember the things i used to love.

Life is beautiful

-speaks poetically to the woman on the suicide lifeline chat

The hardest part of this is leaving you.