✌🏼

my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting

i don’t say that. “hot” would imply it’s been in the toaster for more than fifteen seconds lol

“your lightly warmed bread is done” i tell u

one of these days i’m not even gonna put it in the toaster, just gonna breathe real hard on the bread for a minute and you’ll be like “wow this is perfectly done”

“thank you so much for warming up my bread for me honey, I’m so glad we’re married, I love you” I say to you every time your mean little ass makes toast for me

This was so ridiculously drawn out and the conclusion was so obvious yet still I couldn’t tell where this was going

Summer fun ☀️ family fun

That does look fun af.

I want to do this

All fun and games until i slide into the table

Need a squad to do this with ,

Too bad my family is trash and I don’t have friends

that slide back after the shot would have me dead

@classicdadmoves

where’d they get all those dads

Dadmart

i stopped trying with a lot of people and im glad i did

screenshots dont do this justice

*inhuman clicking*

the millennial steve irwin

i tried to invoke the powers of jesus on my history test but the lord has failed me

this hurled my wig into the rafters as a kid

I hate the internet. I hate how this poem doesn’t need to be finished but it has 13.9k retweets and 21.1k likes. Everyone knows how this poem ends and I hate it

Violets are Blue

Michael Jackson sang Thriller

This is what happens when white guys listen to Indian music

holy shit

whenever I’m feeling sad I just watch this video.

I was not expecting that level of choreography or that they would actually know the words.  This is awesome.

was not expecting that handstand jfc

im crying actual tears this is sheer beauty

especially because bc im indian and indian people dance like this as well

they truly captured the essence of our culture im laughing so hard

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE TUMBLR KNEW THAT THERE IS A PART 2

as an Indian who appreciates this kind of promotion of Daler Mehndi’s “tunak tunak tun”, i have to reblog this