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@johnnyswo0ps / johnnyswo0ps.tumblr.com

it's me lol
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Hi all,

I've decided to retire this blog, but I'll be making a new Tumblr. I want to keep all the memories I have with this one--which has been an archive of my live for FOURTEEN years--but I feel like the best thing for me to do with this newer stage of life is for me to start a bit fresh.

A lot of my posts on here were so raw. Some were so into the times, like impulsive reblogs for memes, and constant tumblrchains, back when we had more of a community here because that's how high school life was for us.

It's been a little over a week since I've turned 31. It isn't a goodbye, necessarily, but a metamorphoses I need to go through.

Looking through this blog makes me happy, and in the last two years or so, also really sad. Wistful. Heartbroken. It is so easy fo rme to fall back into old feelings again, even if I know that in my current situation I am safe and healing.

I don't know who still frequents this, but if you are interested in following me in my new one, go ahead and heart this post. I'll find my way to you.

With lots of love, atwtktd

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Hey buddies,

It's been a while.

A reason why I haven't been on here is simply because life has happened. Apparently the last time I posted something original was 7 months ago, so probably last summer or so.

A lot has happened since then, of course, but the biggest one is that I had to take time off of work to deal with my mental health. I guess it's been a long time coming but the most I can say is that I'm really proud that I'm still around. I know I want to live and that so much of me was fighting to survive. I'm glad to be in a life filled with grace and such supportive people.

I've been reevaluating my life and really have been thinking about what my goals are and--ta-da--my values as well. I know the following to be true:

  • I feel fulfilled when I am surrounded by community
  • I love infodumping/sharing knowledge about local history and fun facts
  • I enjoy spending time alone and expressing myself through visual or written arts
  • I also enjoy knowing that there is an audience; a part of me enjoys knowing that someone is out there listening/reading, even if no one comments or replies or provides feedback.
  • I miss being part of a community--a specific one where I do have bonds with people
  • I enjoy spending time outside, usually solitary, so that I don't feel like I have to rush with anyone. I like to enjoy the moment and do things that are free 99.
  • I need to listen to my body more and treat myself like a flower; thirst does not start when you feel it in your throat; the way my lips are chapped and the brittle on my fingers are easy giveaways. Take sips when you are parched.
  • I am a conceptual person, and I synthesize information best through logic and diagrams, especially when given abstract thoughts and language.
  • I have difficulty keeping consistent friends, but I know that is a part of growing up. I think I am really great at meeting people and that initial spark, but it is easy for me to not follow up because I get easily fatigued and introverted. I feel like I have people who support me from afar, which I am grateful for, but all my friends are of different groups. I hope to be part of a larger friend group in San Diego somehow, and that ties in a lot with my newer endeavors.
  • I enjoy journaling, but I only get in the mood to do it when something great happens. I need to be more into logging the mundane, and by that I mean to make magic out of it to make it worth writing about in the first place.
  • I love books and reading but it's been so difficult to sustain attention. I worry how the medication affects my brain because I often feel like there is brain fog, that I am forgetting words and my train of thought.
  • I sometimes lose track between dreams and reality, in the way that it is less romantic and more of a psychological thriller. I make the effort to wake up when I have woken up to make sure I do not get stuck in such layered dreams over and over again.
  • Life is worth living, just have to get through the rough parts first.
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autistic-plushie

Autistic people often have stuffed animals as their only representation of a long lasting friendship so you shouldn't be embarrassed of needing them. It's not your fault if you can't form or maintain friendship and relationship. It's not your fault if social interactions are so hard.

If you need a stuffed animal it's completely okay.

If you're an adult that have stuffed animals you're not embarrassing.

If you can't go out without a stuffed animals you're not embarrassing.

If you can't fall asleep without your stuffed animals you're not embarrassing.

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sylvielewa
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segretecose

btw you should absolutely read stuff you don't agree with. you should think critically about it. you should reflect and find different stimuli and maybe even form your own thought based on or opposed to it. ideas aren't contagious and reading words someone else has told you are "bad" won't infect you like a virus and make you "evil". read with your own brain.

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sylvielewa
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yawn-emoji

i love you walkable cities i love you pedestrian-centered infrastructure i love you bikeshares i love you free public transit i love you separated bike lanes i love you mixed-use urbanism i love you car-free streets

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cravingchocolate

My brother sent me this comic because I lost a number of people this year. Note, all were not affected by COVID. However, I still dont know how to console someone primarily because I still know it hurts. Im overly sensitive. I fucking miss everyone. It fucking sucks.

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tangledbea
rulersreachf4n asked:

Who is bastion, was that the original name for before Eugene/Flynn Ryder

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tangledbea answered:

Bastion is not the same person as Eugene, though he was the male lead in previous (but not all) versions of the story. He has two different designs, depending upon which point of development you're looking at.

Disney's version of Rapunzel was in some stage of development beginning in 1996 and didn't really begin development as the movie we know until 2008 when Glen Keane and Dean Wellins stepped down as directors due to Glen having a heart attack. It was given to Byron Howard and Nathan Greno (with Glen staying on as executive producer) and took shape as Tangled at that time.

Bastion, as mentioned before, exists in two iterations. You have Glen Keane's Bastion

And then you have the Bastion who was based off of Johnny Depp and was in development (according to one of the images below) in 2006.

All above art by Jin Kim

I actually got insight into the first Bastion, or "Bear Flynn," as he was nicknamed by fans, from an animator who worked on it. Everything I know about him can be found in this post. And yes, his design did later go on to influence Kristoff's design.

As for the second Bastion, or "Johnny Bastion," as he is sometimes called, I know very little about the story at this point of development. We have a handful of concept art of him leaning on stuff and holding a strand of Rapunzel's hair. In 2005, Glen Keane was having difficulty working with what Michael Eisner wanted the Rapunzel story to be. But in 2006, when John Lasseter took over, one of the first thing he did was restart the Rapunzel project with Glen and encourage him to do what he wanted with it. That is, I believe, when Johnny Bastion was developed, so he actually predates Bear Flynn Bastion.

We actually have a decent idea of most of the plot of Glen Keane's version of the story, between concept art and animator interviews. It wasn't until Nathan and Byron took over the project that Eugene took shape as he is now (after the infamous Hot Man Meeting).

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