poor, neglected wizard

Sometimes the rats in my brain come together and start yelling “YEARNING” and in trying to appease them I ask “FOR WHAT” but they are too small so all they can say is “YEARNING” which is a very big word for such a tiny creature, even collectively

I loved this visual so much I had to doodle it.

ratratratratrat

My boyfriend prefers his mattresses firm, and I need a soft mattress. He prefers his food temperate while I like my food hot and spicy. This is another good reason to not have a kid, because even if the kid averages out and prefers everything in the middle, there's the risk of some blonde bitch breaking into our house to rummage through our stuff.

When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay

Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe

You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf

here’s a mashed potato recipe from my homophobic mother that i swore to never share that would pair perfectly!

(6 servings)

-2lbs red potatoes

-1 cup butter (2 sticks)

-1 cup cream cheese (1 pack)

-Chives (optional)

-Salt & Pepper to taste

1. drop those bad boys (potatoes) in a big ol pot. U don’t even have to chop them just wash them

2. boil til soft!

3. Drain

4. Mash (usually they’re small enough you can use a fork if u don’t have one of those squashers) until its a pretty chunky mix

5. add the other stuff. Keep mashing

I like my mashed potato consistancy more lumpy but its all up to you!! Peel the potatoes or keep them on, it literally makes the creamiest fluffiest mashed potatoes which she always served with the nastiest fuckin meatloaf

So after spending hours combing through the recipes in the comments of this post I have created a cookbook. Feel free to use it. The link should work for everyone, its the only file on the google drive! I have referenced all of the recipes I used, all of which are from this thread. I made it for myself, but figured after all that work I should probably share. Happy spite cooking! 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WjcDfZrPMr0Pw9f5GfEy0aTs2KEx4Pub/view?usp=sharing

there is a SPITE COOKBOOK now :DDD

I always see the dog choking info on here, so here’s what to do if a kitty is choking

Save your kitties, we all know they eat everything anyway. 

http://www.wikihow.com/Save-a-Choking-Cat

http://www.wikihow.com/Perform-CPR-on-a-Cat

Q

important

REBLOG TO SAVE THE KITTIES!

IMPORTANT FOR KITTY OWNERS

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT!!! MY CAR WAS CHOKING ON SOME RIBBON THAT GOT LEFT ON THE GROUND AND THESE TIPS SAVED ONE OF MY PRECIOUS FUR BABIES’ LIVES.

Here’s screenshots of how to do CPR on a cat (Below the keep reading)

Keep reading

In case you lost it - a link to the eSIM donation guide. Even if you feel sick and powerless, you can at least do this. And even if you really, really can't donate, you can always at least share this and remind others.

https://gazaesims.com/esim-purchase-tutorial/

the lowest tier, which costs 9 dollars, offers a week of connection while the very next, 16 dollars, will provide a full month of contact with the world to someone who desperately needs it. this is not some idle step. an entire month is a huge length of time for people who are displaced, terrified, and isolated.

got blood work done today and i just remembered a time i got blood work done as a teen. after the nurse drew like 6 vials of the stuff, i asked him “is all that mine?” and he said “not any more” and walked off

I also like it when they're like hey what's up or something personal/natural instead of the welcome to wherever how can I serve you bit.

I also like it when they are sitting down or listening to music they clearly enjoy

There is something so nourishing about walking into a place of business and immediately thinking "huh, I wouldn't have guessed this place would be playing this kind of music" only to see an employee absolutely head-banging along because today is their day to pick the CD and they are living

Despite what capitalists might think, I do not want to roleplay being royalty in the presence of slaves when I seek professional assistance in obtaining my basic human needs.

This post is healing.

Working retail, I so often got snapped at for ‘bothering’ customers because my manager would hover and demand that I follow them around, trying to get them to make a purchase.

I’m happy to be working as an admin, where I get to greet people with genuine enthusiasm and take care of them. It’s incredibly rewarding.

Humans are happier when you let them be human.

gale's reaction to mystra telling him to blow himself up is obviously heartbreaking but on the other hand it is deeply DEEPLY hilarious when Gale, Learned professor of renown, is like "if there was another way to defeat the absolute don't you think the goddess of magic would have thought of it" and the band of badly socialized half-feral murder children he's running with just go "well maybe the goddess of magic is stupid, gale"

And you know what, THEY WERE RIGHT

im cooking

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

why the gritty aesthetic? don't know, just having fun

This feels like the kind of PSA id see as a kid in the 80s still barely clinging to the wall in a doctor's office or community center.

Sharing this because I had NO IDEA that this is how they worked… 

I did but it is still super cool to see it close up in such great detail.

There’s something of the obscene about this.

@zahai

Quoted Tag:

How dare you.

i think we should bring this back (with some amendments ofc) if we ever needed an "internet etiquette" for the younger generations, now is the moment to remind them. purity culture kills fandom

as well as the three laws of fandom:

Don't Like, Don't Read (DL;DR), Your Kink is not My Kink And That's OK (YKINMKATO) and Ship and Let Ship