every so often i think about when i first started my first office job and had to cold-call our product reps and i was SO nervous doing it, and the guy i was calling was named like Sam Hammond or something and I got his voicemail, CONFIDENTLY started with “Hi, Ham!” and hung up IMMEDIATELY

found out like two weeks later if you let the voicemail menu come back up you can erase the message and restart and i almost threw up

The last time we were on a long flight, my wife and I invented a game we call "Little Guy."

You start a game of Little Guy by saying, "I'm gonna hand you a little guy." The little guy is some kind of baby animal you are imagining. "Oh," she might say in response, "Okay," and hold out her hands for it. I will then mime handing her the animal. This provides some clues as to the little guy's size, weight, and general ungainliness.

She then gets to ask questions about what kind of little guy this is, BUT NO QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS ACTUAL APPEARANCE OR SPECIES ARE ALLOWED. Qualitative questions, or questions about his behavior, are the only ones permitted. She can ask "Is he soft?" or "Does he seem nervous about being held?" or "If I put him in the bathtub, does he seem okay with that?" or "Would he like a lil grape?" or "Is he the sort of little fellow who would wear a vest in a children's book?" but not "Does he have fur," "Is he a reptile," "Is he from Asia," etc. Some questions are in a grey area so you have to follow your heart, but the point is not to identify the animal as fast as possible: the point is to guess the animal purely based on vibes + how he would act if he were in your living room right now.

And I'm not limited to yes or no answers! If she asks, "Would it feel appropriate to see this little guy in a propeller hat?" I can reply, "Oh no, he has a gravity to him. A bowler hat would be a more appropriate hat." Or if she asks, "Does this little guy have protagonist energy?" I can say something like, "he probably wouldn't be the main character in a children's cartoon. He'd probably be the main character's ditzy best friend who's always eating sandwiches, or something."

We're big Twenty Questions to kill time in a waiting room people, but Little Guy is more about the journey than the destination. It's got a different kind of sauce that's nice if "killing time" and "lowering anxiety" need to happen hand in hand.

WHO tf keeping pads with no wings in production?? Put it in your draws and by the time you walk out the bathroom it’s down the street buying scratch offs at the corner store. Like girl

You live in a house decorated according to your url. What does it look like

When you see this, reblog with a song that starts with the letter of the alphabet that comes after the first letter of the title of the song before it. I'll be adding them to this playlist.

Let's make something weird, together, lovelies!

@heart-wit-strength said:

You and Me and The Devil Makes Three by ye banished privateers

So I'm going to add:

Ziggy Stardust by David Bowie

(idk where the list went, but if you see this, add a song that starts with "A" so the next person can add one with "B", etc!)

Another Fight by Saint Asonia

Black Magic Woman by Santana (it's a screen shot bc spotify hates me today ffs)

“cry, wolf!” by molly ofgeography

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

Sorry yeah, I know it's an inconvenience right now but trust me replacing the T in Bsoton with a set of 500 emus and a cassowary will benefit the city

Pride and Prejudice is actually hilarious cause Elizabeth goes to the Netherfield Ball with the purpose of finding out what Darcy's closest friends think about Wickham, and when they all tell her Darcy is a really nice guy and Wickham is a liar she literally goes "Mr. Darcy has somehow managed to trick all of his closest friends into thinking he's a good person but I know something about him that they don't (that he sucks)"

@omtai

I mean that about sums it up