The Cake Is A Lie

I guess you could say he got….. cockblocked~ (badum tsss) (x)

M;’[tssaaaqq

Me: I’m going to bed

What people think I mean:

What I actually mean:

THE LIST OF THINGS NINTENDO PREDATES INCLUDES, BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO:

THE SHERLOCK HOLMES FRANCHISE

UNITED STATES PRESIDENT DWIGHT D. EISHENHOWER’S BIRTH

THE NOVEL “DRACULA”

THE NOVELS “THE TIME MACHINE” AND “WAR OF THE WORLDS” BY H.G. WELLS

THE FIRST MODERN OLYMPIC GAMES

THE DISCOVERY OF HELIUM ON EARTH

… Okay. I believe you. But like… how?

NINTENDO WAS FOUNDED IN 1889 AS A CARD GAME MANUFACTURER AND ALL THOSE OTHER THINGS HAPPENED IN 1890 OR LATER

WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT DRACULA WAS EARLIER WHAT THE FUCK

YOU COULD WRITE A DRACULA FANFIC WHERE DRACULA TRAVELS TO JAPAN AND BUYS A PACK OF NINTENDO BRAND PLAYING CARDS AND IT WOULD BE HISTORICALLY ACCURATE. SAME DEAL FOR SHERLOCK HOLMES.

No no no no no!

Don’t write fanfic!

Those things are in the public domain!

You can legally write, publish, and sell a Dracula book where Dracula travels to Japan and buys a pack of Nintendo brand playing cards!

Same deal for Sherlock Holmes!

what if you write a book where dracula and sherlock holmes travel to japan at the same time and reach for the last pack of nintendo brand playing cards that they both wanted

Here’s where the romance happens

ok can we agree that the WORST feeling is when you’re just sitting around consciously procrastinating and you’re just overly aware that each second that passes is more time wasted and you like watch hours pass and you’re STILL procrastinating and you CANT STOP and your panicked brain is trapped inside a body that refuses to be productive and inside you’re screaming but outwardly you’re just eating chips 

Adam Driver behind the scenes of Star Wars: The Last Jedi

This makes me so happy

And if you can’t find a dad

a lesbian will work just as well

I didn’t think it could get better but it got better

@shattterhearts

Bridesmaid to a waiter: What a beautiful wedding

Waiter, about to reveal that the poor groom’s bride is a whore: Oh you haven’t heard?

@spacepirate113

like to charge reblog to cast

If this ain’t me on Sundays

@shattterhearts

Which John Boyega are you today?

i am HAUNTED by kylo ren’s humongous bosom. his big ol tits. his milky mountains. what an absolutely ridiculous creature? what kind of reckless body is that to throw at me? i am flabberghasted. bamboozled. i’ve been rendered speechless since thursday morning. i can’t eat i can’t sleep. my teeth hurt, my blood pressure is dropping. i think this is love? just  big. big boob

Poe: hangs up on leia

Poe: interrupts leia

Poe: begins a mutiny without leia’s permission

Leia:

.

I HAD TO.

i am SORRY

Oscar Isaac and John Boyega for British Vogue.

movie night 

(corgi is bb-8)