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Science Weasels!

@scienceweasels / scienceweasels.tumblr.com

Meaningless mustelid musings.
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I had a dream that David Tennant read too many of those “David Tennant is UNRECOGNIZABLE in Amazon’s Good Omens!” clickbait articles and decided to audition to be the Doctor again while wearing his Crowley wig and sunglasses because he thought maybe they’d think he wasn’t David Tennant. For some reason they rolled with it and actually cast him as the 14th Doctor, who was finally ginger.

That is THE funniest thing I’ve heard all day

OH MY GOD

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reblogged

tolkien fans are insufferable because you'll agree to watch the movies with them and then seven hours in they'll say "omg my favourite character is about to appear!" and it's a fucking siege weapon

I will not stand by while Grond, Hammer of the Underworld is slandered in such a way! 

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venowyn

I thought tumblr was safe from Grondposting

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND GROND GROND!

grond is when you gotta change discs on the extended edition. grond signals snack breaks and a refill of the wine. grond is an omen of good fortune and some respect should be put on his fucking name

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ekjohnston

EXACTLY

Bring up the wolf’s head!

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James T. Kirk:

-Graduated in the top 4% of his year -was bullied by jocks -Is a history nerd -was so much of a teacher’s pet that he cheated on an exam and was commended for it -Was referred to as “a stack of books with legs”

Jean-Luc Picard:

-Spent all his free time drinking in pubs and playing billiards -broke more hearts than he can remember -started a bar fight that ended up in him being stabbed in the heart -likes to explore dangerous ruins of ancient civilizations for fun -wouldn’t even have become a starship captain if he wasn’t this much of a hothead

And yet people still manage to get it backwards???

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kalinara

I think it’s a problem of First Officer, really.

Jim Kirk seems like a wild man because he’s standing next to calm, logical Spock.*  

Meanwhile, Picard seems stately and dignified because he’s standing next to Will “Any alien physiology is bangable if you just put some thought into it” Riker*.  

* Of course THEN, we get to the next layer, which is that Spock is the dude who told the Vulcan Science Academy to fuck itself, while Riker plays the trombone.

The Federation is a confusing place.

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cryptonature

I bet octopuses think bones are horrific. I bet all their cosmic horror stories involve rigid-limbs and hinged joints.

To an octopus, a human is like a thinking being with blood-stained coral growing inside it.

I need to sit down and breathe into a bag for a while.

Its parts were obscenely limited in their movement. Each hinge could open or close only a small amount before reaching its limit, yet by working in concert they demonstrated unexpected dexterity, moving and manipulating the objects before it with cunning equal to my own. It was more torso than limb, as though a seal had been stretched and warped, given long grasping tentacles filled with bones like bars of coral.  It’s head was most horrid of all, flat and ovoid, jutting out too small from the trunk as though it belonged to a beast half its size.

The thing rose upon its lowermost appendages, two long trunks that ended in flat, protruding flippers that branched into stubby, grasping mockeries of a sucker. It’s triple-hinged uppermost limbs were similar, but the ends branched into five smaller tentacles, each with three hinges of their own.

I froze, as the thing’s gaze fell upon me and it opened its hideous fish-jaw, filled with thick, many-shaped teeth like white shards of stone, and spoke in a shrill, discordant babble. I felt its horrid dry grip on my flesh, as those hinged appendages closed on me like the legs of a crab.

I felt the heat of its body, tasted its noxious, oily flesh through my touch, and prepared for the end, and all went black as a swoon overtook me.

I awoke, some time later, the cold and comforting water, banished back to the comfort of the sea and the dark. I should be grateful I am alive. I should cast aside the experience like a half-remembered dream.

I shall never again go swimming in search of lights above. The last thing I recall before the darkness took me was my right eye popping free of the thing’s grasp enough to see into the distance for one brief moment.

I saw thousands of lights.

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skinks

the penalty box in hockey is such a funny concept to me. big fighty men go in the naughty cube. imprisoned for sports crimes

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runcibility

Go to the terrarium and think about your punching, you knife-footed ice-gremlin

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chadgamer

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

Your brain’s about four times the size of a cat’s

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hzs-modblog

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

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lawbreaker13

Your lungs can hold 5.5 liters of air

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

The soles of your feet can never grow hair

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB…

SQUAREPAAAAAAAANTS

*~deedlee-doot-dee-doot doo-oot~*

date of origin: August 9th, 2018

The unbridled joy of seeing this pass by again, spotting the little red heart like “ah… my old friend. Spongebob Human Anatomy Squarepants.

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ribghoul

i was holding your boyfriend in my hands while you were getting a jar to put him in but he jumped into the grass and i can’t find him now

Anyway, that’s how come my boyfriend is now classified as an invasive species and banned from Australia. Polyamory is not as easy as you’d think.

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nyctosaurid

people say the animorphs covers are *creepy* but the actual in book transformations are all like ‘then her face cracked in two, her organs melted, her bones all snapped and reformed backwards, and her fingers and toes fused together. she couldnt cry because her tear ducts didnt fucking exist anymore. everyone looked at the ground so they wouldnt throw up looking at this’

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image

new art challenge: Re-draw Animorphs covers based of the books description.

New art challenge: dONT

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224bbaker

Fun Fact: in one month, all Sherlock Holmes stories hit the public domain and the Conan Doyle Estate can't do shit! I say this for absolutely no reason but also congrats in advance to the happy couple.

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