Toyryla

drew Oscar for my friend

my favorite thing i’ve learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like “the eight winds cannot move me” blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes “FART” (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says “wow. the eight winds cannot move you, but one fart sends you across the lake”

i googled this bc i desperately wanted this to be real, and guess what…it is.

the dude’s name was su dongpo (also known as su shi). his original poem went like this:

稽首天中天，

毫光照大千，

八風吹不動，

端坐紫金蓮

(Humbly bowed my head below all skies Minutest lights shine through my deepest bounds Immovable by strong winds from eight sides Upon purplish gold lotus I seated straightly by the low mound) (x)

on which his friend wrote “放屁” (fart, literally), and you know the rest.

(here’s a chinese source for the skeptics)

this is even funnier because just writing “fart” out of the blue sounds really stupid and random in english, but in chinese, fart (fang pi) is used as a common reply to, well, people talking out of their ass. kind of like how we’d use “bullshit” in context.

you know what really gets my goat?

el chupacabra

I’m sorry!? What?!

Whoa, chupacabra’s a millennial?

The first person who claimed they saw the chupacabra described it as being bipedal, having greenish-grey reptilian skin, and having a row of spikes down its back. She had also recently seen the 1995 film Species, which happens to feature an alien that looks like this:

Brother they are tattling on me to my fiancé

im sad that this is going to be relevant for a long time

my fiance in question is the one who drew that just fyi

What's a king without his queen anyway

What is the funniest pokemon move

Obsessed with the description for this move

losing my mind at the animation as well

Fuck yea

the wii is considered a retro console now.

THE WII IS CONSIDERED A WHAT.

It's summer.　もう夏じゃん 午後8:37 · 2024年4月18日

Vincent Price in Dragonwyck (1946) dir. Joseph L. Mankiewicz