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angelus ex amore sui et venandi

@queer-cas / queer-cas.tumblr.com

Quinn||they/them||22
Castiel has my eternal love
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reblogged
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lizstiel

dean breaks into the empty. no one can talk him out of going. he storms in and it’s dark and terrifying but on the horizon he sees the outline of something familiar. the sleek black and chrome lines of her, and soft music drifting from miles away. when he finally gets to her, what feels like weeks have passed, but there she is - his baby - exactly where she shouldn’t be, and right there in the passenger seat, sound asleep, is castiel. his head resting on the window, his hands folded neatly in his lap. the mixtape dean made him is in the tape deck, robert plant’s voice sounding like a lullaby somehow in this dark, empty place. just as he’s reaching out to touch him a voice over his shoulder makes dean turn, and the empty stands a few feet away, surveying them with what almost looks like pity: “it’s the only way he’d stay asleep.”

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oldsouldier

Let’s remember that Bucky Barnes without Steve Rogers was the kid who befriended a small sickly boy looked down on and picked on by everyone else without caring what anyone thought.

Bucky Barnes without Steve Rogers was a smart, bright, likable young man who enjoyed going to dance halls and science fairs.

Bucky Barnes without Steve Rogers earned the respect, friendship, and loyalty of his soldiers to such an extent that when a stranger in spangly tights saves their lives only to ask them to follow him back into the fray, they agree because this guy’s nuts but he’s got Sarge’s seal of approval.

Bucky Barnes without Steve Rogers withstood years of unimaginable physical and psychological torture until his captors were finally forced to strip him of his memories and all sense of self in order to make him compliant, and even then had to phrase his missions as fights for the good of the world.

And then, Bucky Barnes, with no knowledge of Steve Rogers or himself, with no agency or moral compass, couldn’t be kept out of cryostasis for too long lest he regain the smallest sense of self and turn on his masters. Because even they knew that James Buchanan Barnes was the furthest thing from a bully, and feared the vengeance he would bring down on them if he realized what they were forcing him to do.

And this is just Bucky Barnes in the MCU, who’s had maybe a half hour of screen time and a handful of lines.

Yeah, the seeds of the Winter Soldier are in Bucky, insomuch as he is competent, loyal, fierce, a brilliant tactician, capable of doing the dirty work to save others the burden, and a bit ruthless when it comes to protecting innocents and those he loves. But isn’t it telling that even stripped of everything but these attributes and then turned to destruction and chaos he becomes, not a bully, but an asset of terrifying efficiency? The Winter Soldier is single-minded and brutal in carrying out his missions, but he is an effective soldier, not a bully.

James Buchanan Barnes is a hero, and nothing, not the absence of one man (even a man like Steve Rogers) or anything else, could change that.

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phdna

I’ll shout this from the rooftops every day until I die

We get to see more of who Bucky is in the comics (we see more of everyone in the comics – 80 years of story telling!), but even in the MCU, Bucky is so much more than his relationship with Steve. His goodness doesn’t come from Steve. Rather, he and Steve get along because they’re both good.

im in love with this post

Rather, he and Steve get along because they’re both good

That is the essence of their friendship.

Both of them are protectors. They stand up for the people who can’t or won’t defend themselves. Steve has a wonderful moral compass of being good and fair, but the thing is Bucky is right there with him. Bucky is protective, he is caring, and he is kind.

Steve and Bucky are cut from the same cloth and that’s why the mesh together so well.

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dadamilo

I have to reblog again.

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reblogged

Ok but what are we gonna do in a few years when the Percy Jackson series is airing its final season and we have side by side images of a young Percy with his plain leather cord next to a noticeably older and wiser Percy with his completed camp neckace. Then what.

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if castiel was a worm i would scoop him gently off the sidewalk after a rain. If dean was a worm i would fish with him

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deancaskiss

the thing is, dean’s always known. or, at least, he’s known for a long time how cas feels about him. how he feels about cas. but he also knows it isn’t fair to force cas to admit what’s between them until the angel is ready. and that’s it right there. cas is an angel; an angel who’s never experienced this before- love, or lust, or desire, or a relationship, or any of the things dean knows is between them. and he can’t force this. absolutely cannot force cas into anything. he has to let cas make the first move, because dean knows how he feels. he can label it, he can call it what it is. he’s in love with cas. but he has to let cas get there on his own. so he’ll wait. dean commits to waiting forever if that’s what it takes. because he knows cas is It for him. he knows there isn’t anyone else for him except for cas. so he’ll wait for cas to figure it out, and when cas is ready, then god, dean is going to kiss him so goddamn much and tell him how he feels until the words are seared into cas’ grace. I love you, I love you, I love you.

but the time never comes. at least not until it’s too late. there’s a moment dean thinks cas is There. when he says ‘I love you’ but then it’s followed by an ‘i love all of you’ addressed to their whole family. not the right time. not yet. so dean waits. and god his heart is aching. he’s so desperate to just admit his truth; to tell cas how he feels and to kiss the angel breathless and to give him everything and anything. but he can’t. he vowed to let cas figure it out, no matter how much time it takes.

but now, at the end of it all, with death and the empty on their heels, cas confesses. “I love you” is spoken into the air between them. and dean shatters. absolutely shatters. cas finally figured it out, finally felt what was between them and was ready for this, and now the angel is gone; ripped from his hands before dean can reach out and grasp him, hug him, kiss him. and when dean collapses on the ground, head in his hands as he rages and aches and screams and burns, his heart is rattling in his chest. “I was ready, cas. I was always ready. we could’ve had this. all you had to do was say you were ready too,” dean sobs. but it’s too late. cas is gone. and he should’ve said something. fuck. he should’ve said it all along. and cas should’ve said it too. they were both cowards waiting for the other to make the first move. and dean begs and screams and threatens and breaks and all he wants is one more chance. just one more chance to do this again, because he swears this time he’ll get it right. this time he’ll tell cas he loves him. but there’s no more chances. and dean never got to tell cas “I love you too.”

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