cat: myeow

everyone in the room with the same tone and inflection: myeow

Me, looking back at how many books i used to read: I love that bitch, she was going places.

I say no worries a lot for someone who worries 101% of the time

i should shower soon *lies down for 5 hours*

in the makeup aisle

Rational brain: Not only do I not wear nail polish, but even when I did, I only ever wore black and just hoarded the other 20 colors I owned without using them. It’s a complete waste of money to buy any

Crow brain: Buy pretty shiny, bring home put in nest

we all have that one person who just ruins your day by being alive 

for me its myself

Tattoos and less anxiety, that’s all I want

Winnie the Pooh is a fat icon tbh

reminder that Winnie the Pooh wore a crop top and ate his fave food and loved himself and u can too

I would die for this goat

I’m constantly torn between wanting to recover and wanting to be self-destructive in any way possible.

I have 3 moods:

I love how the monkey from Aladdin is just called “Dad” if you translate “Abu”

are you telling me that he calls the monkey “daddy”

By Allah, not on this post you don’t

my brother is sitting in the chair in my room studying a practice test thing for his final test before he becomes a fully certified EMT tomorrow and he’s mumbling some of the questions out loud and he just went “a child has fallen from a monkey at school…” and he just got dead quiet and stared at the wall for like a solid minute with the most stricken look on his face before he whispered “there’s no protocol for monkeys”

bro

bro it means monkey bars 

now he’s googling “child falls from monkey” and apparently the only thing that pops up is Fall Out Boy’s “Thnks Fr th Mmrs”

 I M  L AHUGNI N G SO H ARD  HE WENT INTO THE KITCHEN LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO AND STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH MY MOM AND I HEARD HIM JUST STOP MID SENTENCE AND THEN SHOUT “FUCKING MONKEY BARS” 

this was a post meant for like 6 people who actually know my brother and now this is the only image he has on this site he’s the “monkey protocol” guy for almost 100,000 people I give up

we all have that one person who just ruins your day by being alive 

for me its myself