To the spiders in the ceiling corners: you’re keeping your end of the contract, love u honeys catch those tasty flies

To the spiders halfway down the wall and touchin my furniture: you’re on thin fucking ice babes

“Now THAT’S how you quarantine”

(via)

Dove chocolate and Dove soap are two different companies who havent sued each other because they have different trademarks lol

Damn and I really all this time just thought dove (the soap people) had a meeting one day and were just like “…. we might fuck around and make some chocolate”

Finding out that Dove Soap and Dove Chocolates are different companies has the exact same energy as finding out that Michelin Tires and the Michelin Star Rating System (which rates the finest restaurants in the world) are actually the same company.

everyday i wake up and plan on doing Things but then i just

a zoo of dogs dressed up as other animals

LOOK AT THIS LITTLE BEAN AND HIS HAPPY LITTLE FACE FULL OF DREAMS

I’m proud of him

He is just fucking great.

Fat pets who are obviously unhealthy:  Bad

Wild animals who are fat because of humans:  Bad

Wild animals who are supposed to be fat:  Good

Wild animals who have gotten super fat because they’re just that good at survival:  Very Good

my brain every night:

“You will pay for this, Karen.”

Via Cats2K

if you’re having a bad day… here’s a smiling alpaca

PURE, QUALITY CONTENT

My eyes just got HUGE.

Who wants to see a FAT otter. A real ROUND boy. A HUGE man. A CHUNKY guy.

she knows she’s not allowed to bark at the cat, so her loophole is just to make a bunch of noises that are not barking instead.

Long Horse Makes Sad Horn Noises At Local Bastard Man

Honeysuckle giving us serious 👀 👀 vibes

(As a note she is blue due to the antibiotic spray that we had to use around her neck)

dont lie to us, that was baja blast you sprayed

do not bother seal rescue ireland.

No this is true we feed all of our seals a strict Baja blast only diet.

find a frog. befriend him. let him see your vulnerable side. trust him