*ships m/f couples but in an un-mistakably bisexual way*

Where the woman has equal agency in the relationship and the man heavily hints at getting pegged

scream

“you talk like a smart/pretentious person” actually I just forget simple words constantly and am forced to rummage through my brain for the nearest synonym, which is usually twice as long and needlessly specific

#see also: the exact feeling im trying to convey with my sentences doesnt get across the same way without that specific word

can they please make a dishwasher with a transparent door? i want to see what's going on in there

washing machine: open, honest, shows you how its cleaning your clothes

dishwasher: mysterious, untrustworthy, keeps its cleaning methods a secret

*befriends your bloodline and aids your family for generations to come*

why must life have a grand purpose? is it not enough to have some basil, and mozzarella?

the beach boys were right.....it would be nice

has this been done before?

catch me at the tavern in this set & the town nobles are bald!! gagging on their pheasant and peas!

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

I am psyched

Cannot wait

Wearing men’s deodorant and watching the straight girls I work with faces’ become Confused and Attracted because I smell like a Hot Guy™ (their words) is a bisexual power move and you can’t tell me otherwise.

Plus, for the first couple of days you also feel constantly Confused and Attracted and where is the Hot Guy™? And then you realize that the Hot Guy™ was you all along.

scott lang, completely misunderstanding peter parker’s power: hey if u want man we could get tiny and just like hang out, i don’t know if you’ve ever been in a lego castle but it’s pretty sweet

peter parker: u have no idea how much physical pain having to turn this offer down is causing me but,

EZRA MILLER for GQ Style (2018), ph. Yoshiyuki Matsumara.