blue babe

why does everyone look so surprised when i say the reason for cutting my hair short is the hot weather, what were u expecting “i need to take my father’s place in war and the chinese army won’t accept women” ???

So what you’re saying is that you’re not going to help defend China from the Huns…?

So in Japan the *xfiles theme plays* meme is an actual thing, so on the news, whenever something creepy or mysterious happens they play the xfiles theme and trust me you haven’t lived until you’ve seen on the news an Olympic athlete putting a ping pong ball in his mouth replayed three times in slow motion while the xfiles theme plays.

He caught a brief glimpse of a gloomy high-ceilinged, twin-bedded room; then there was a loud twittering noise, followed by an even louder shriek, and his vision was completely obscured by a large quantity of very bushy hair.

Me when I can’t hear what someone’s saying but I don’t want to ask them to repeat it

*does the naruto run down the aisle at my wedding*

hey, i knwo time is fake and we literally made it all up but i would like for july to be good to me. i’d like the universe to give me a break this month and i’d like things to start working out for me. that’d be real swell

if you think muslims are terrorists please unfollow me i got no time to deal with that shit

I found someone’s tumblr logged in on this computer and all I did was change the icon

Really confused as to how my logo changed to kermit the frog. Unless im starting to have hallucinations from lack of sleep. Still. mindfucked. 

reblog if u remember when apple was a FRUIT, kids played OUTSIDE not on their ipads, and decomposing VICTIMS of the BUBONIC plague LITTERED the STREETS

daniel radcliffe: *tries his best to widen his horizons and take on various interesting and different roles*

me: look at the harry potter man go

the hogwarts houses on friday night.

gryffindor:  so much firewhiskey - sneaking out for karaoke night - playing twister - marathoning doctor who - drinking red bull to stay up all night - watching olan rogers and caspar lee - spike ball

hufflepuff:  smoking stolen herbs from the greenhouses - arts and crafts - baking muffins - watching phil lester and louise pentland - marathoning parks and rec

ravenclaw: trivia night - playing obama llama and pandemic - marathoning sherlock - dissecting lyrics for deeper meanings - wine tasting - watching john and hank green and troye sivan

slytherin:  sneaking out for concerts - smoking stolen herbs from the potions storage - marathoning breaking bad - playing cards against humanity - watching dan howell and tyler oakley