Charles Bukowski, The Roominghouse Madrigals
Just a reminder that Vincent van Gogh did not eat yellow paint to make himself feel happy, he ate paint, and drank different chemicals because he was suicidal and this is why he was not allowed in his studio while having breakdowns. He also did not paint starry night and his other great works because he was depressed, he painted most of them while he was in recovery and demonstrated his hopefulness and love of the world through this. Most of his great works were painted from his room at a hospital. Van Gogh’s depression should not be glorified. His hope and effort toward a better life, as well as his recovery from depression should be glorified.
You’re right and you should say it
With a new year comes an opportunity for a fresh start. An opportunity to reflect on the actions we’ve taken and to spend some time determining if they align with our intentions, ambitions, and whether or not they match the direction we want to head. Without ‘course correction’ and regular inspections of our direction, we can easily veer off course and end up somewhere we never intended to be.
Think about a one degree difference in the direction of your car’s steering wheel. If you’ve ever driven a car on a multiple lane highway with other cars all around, you know how drastic (and life-threatening) one small change in the steering wheel can have. In fact, if you watch your hands closely as you drive, you’ll see that even when you try to drive in a straight line, what you’re really doing is making a series of micro-adjustments over and over again, left and right, as you try and stay moving forward. In driving, degrees matter.
Just like degrees matter while driving, so too do they matter for the direction of your life. And what’s interesting is just how powerful the impact of small actions (just like the power of small degrees) can have on the overall path that we’re heading. For example, instead of snoozing your alarm for 20 minutes after it goes off, try only snoozing for 19—you can get back 6 hours of time by the end of the year! Rather than trying to drastically change your workout routine, try adding one pound to one of your lifts. If you did this 3x a week, you will increase your lift weights by 156 pounds! Rather than radically alter the foods you eat and completely change your diet, try adding one apple to one of your meals every day. You can imagine the health benefits something simple like this can have.
This ‘one degree’ change to your lifestyle is the same as that one degree turn in your steering wheel. It may not feel like much, but it can undoubtedly alter the course of your life. Pay attention to degrees. Pay attention to the direction of your life. Make sure you’re facing the right direction before you hit the gas. Nothing is more frustrating than starting on your journey only to realize that you’ve been driving swiftly forward, in the wrong direction. Happy New Year and good luck!
The Dream Illustrated Part 1.
“The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains”
“…you can hate a place with all your heart and soul and still be homesick for it.”
— Joseph Mitchell
“The culture doesn’t encourage you to think about such things until you’re about to die. We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting with the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks–we’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying: Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?” - Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie
“These same people who tell us we must defend the lives of the unborn – they are the same people who seem not so interested in defending anyone but themselves after the accident of birth is complete! These same people who profess their love of the unborn’s soul – they don’t care to make much of a contribution to the poor, they don’t care to offer much assistance to the unwanted or the oppressed! How do they justify such a concern for the fetus and such a lack of concern for unwanted and abused children? They condemn others for the accident of conception; they condemn the poor – as if the poor can help being poor. One way the poor could help themselves would be to be in control of the size of their families. I thought that freedom of choice was obviously democratic – was obviously American!” - John Irving, The Cider House Rules
it won’t be like what you imagined. maybe you get the road trip to the beach with coffee in your hand and the radio playing, maybe you don’t. but happy shows up. it’s in a 2 AM game of jenga with your new college friends. it’s curling up for another marathon of netflix. it’s meeting the person who will be your best man at the wedding. it’s 4:45pm in the library when the girl in the study coral across from you quietly whispers “i’m going to set everything on fire” and then turns to you and asks if you wanna take a break for dinner (say yes, she’s very nice and you both need a moment away from the stress). it’s the mornings they have omelettes and in good books and in a puddle that looks cool. it’s sometimes picturesque, but more often it’s full-belly laughter at stupid things on the floor of your friend’s house while in the background someone is debating the best way to win settlers of catan.
i know it gets dark early now and the tired is setting in and everything sort of feels blank and hazy and you want to spend ages staring at walls thinking of nothing
but happiness will find a way in. it will be small moments. look for them.
“Closing your eyes isn’t going to change anything. Nothing’s going to disappear just because you can’t see what’s going on. In fact, things will even be worse the next time you open your eyes.”
— Haruki Murakami
“Can you hate someone for what they have done, but still love them for whom they had been?” - Jodie Picoult, Nineteen Minutes
“Loneliness does not come from having no people around one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.” - Carl Jung
“I dream of isolation. I alone, near the sea. Alone. Absolutely alone.”
— Alejandra Pizarnik, from Diarios
“…and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, That was fine. And your life is a long line of fine.”
— Gillian Flynn