Pretty Simple

via weheartit

For the curious, this chap is processing flax, then spinning it into cordage, then twisting those cords into rope.

I think you'll find this man is torturing grass into agreeing that it's string

*cough gay cough*

*cue vine voice* Oh my god, they were roommates...

Cary grant and Randolph Scott lived together for 11 years in their mansion entitled the bachelor pad there are press pictures of the two of them living in a completely wonderfully domestic setting

When Cary grant has to marry as to stop the rumours of their gayness he became very depressed, him and his wife divorced 13 months later

Putting more pictures here because yes

Also they reason said wife divorced Cary is bc Randolph “refused to leave” their home and Cary wouldn’t kick him out.

I’d seen some of these pub stills before but not all of them, imagine middle America looking at this and thinking they were just bachelors sharing a house holy fuck

if Gilbert Gottfried isn’t voicing this slamming power bottom then what are we even doing here

this screenshot leaves out the best part of the character design

guy fieri couture

I think we’re not seeing the bigger picture here which is that Disney has a dating sim app, if Iago is in it then who the fuck else is in it

I cannot stress this enough, but, what the fuck

I feel like it should be clarified that the sexy anime husband next to Iago is not, in fact, Jafar.

That’s Jafar’s staff.

HIS WHAT ???

This post is a new punch in the face every time I see it

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil

what does Quil do

All the time all the time

This is the funniest and most thoughtful I’ve ever seen an organization use a meme and it’s good people with good goals who don’t just want your money on top of it

Met an old teacher today and we got talking about ‘the good old times’ and ten minutes into the conversation I jokingly said the one regret I have from middle school is that I never won anything at her magnificent tombolas? Because, like, she used to hold this game about once a month so we’d learn the numbers in French and it was never big prizes, but as a 12-yo I desperately craved them - a cactus-shaped eraser, a bright blue notebook with slightly larger-than-usual squares, a set of coloured pens - and never ever got a single one of them. 

(Actually spent a good few months thinking I was genetically unlucky and researching ancient family curses with my grandma.) 

So today I don’t know what I was hoping for - nothing, really?

(I mean, that part of me that’s still twelve was probably expecting this sweet old woman to have a set of glitter stickers in her purse and just go ‘You know what, you’re right - I’ve been saving this one for you all these years, here you go’ but I’m a solidly rational person and I know that’s stupid.)

No, I thought we’d just laugh and it would be a good shared memory and that would be it. Instead, my teacher got flustered and a bit embarrassed and explained the game was rigged. It was never about learning French at all. She’d just noticed some kids couldn’t afford even basic stationery, so she’d buy a few half-fancy items every month with her own money just for them. She didn’t want them to feel different or left out. And obviously the way she used to walk around in the classroom, looking over our shoulders - it wasn’t to prevent cheating. It was because she was cheating herself, wanting to see which number a particular child needed to get a Minnie Mouse pencil case.

Guys - the world is fucked up, but so many people out there are just good and kind and humbly heroic it honestly gives me hope. 

It’ll be alright, you’ll see.

i don’t know why anyone has to feel insecure about their bodies, when objectively, humans are all freakish horrors. Every last one of us. Hairless, fleshy, gangly beasts walking upright straight as a tree with bony tentacles on the ends of our limbs. 

you have a hole in your face full of sharp bones and you’re worried that your belly is a little squishy 

broke: all bodies are beautiful! 

woke: all bodies are made of warm meat wrapped around wet bones with blood-plump organs stuffed inside. rad 

Actually, your face isn’t filled with sharp bones! Bones are derived from the mesoderm, one of three tissue layers in very early embryonic development that diversify into all of the organs in the body. Teeth on the other hand, come from the ectoderm. So congrats! Your face isn’t filled with sharp bones- it’s filled with sharp skin! Have fun!

I HATE that

I LOVE that

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

The members of the "I am bisexual in every way except canon" club

This is edited, because I screwed up and put Elenour from the Good place on here and people in the comments told me she is canon bi. So I replaced her with Stiles. I honestly have no idea how I forgot him, since he is a poster child for fanon bisexuals.

Not gonna lye, it was exactly the outcome I hoped for.

omg he was just so excited when he heard it fall over

Pros of having ADHD:

Cons of having ADHD:

born in the wrong generation

Well fuck

i know this is gonna be taken as a joke but please dont trust anyone who claims theyre a batman fan and havent at any point in time made fun of him. the bitch is insufferable

when someone says batman is all they want to be in life they dont mean they wanna adopt three dozen children they mean they wanna have free agency to punch people and have the emotional range of a single raw onion left under the sun. while being dressed as a bat dude. you want tiny bitty bat ears stuck on a mask? thats fucked. dont talk to me

feel like crouching on top of a rusty ass gargoyle at 3am do you, batsy boy

The Philadelphia Inquirer, Pennsylvania, December 7, 1922

Me reading this in 2020, almost 98 years after this was published: