when you wake up everything is alive

The Pacific Northwest is fucking Perfect

I can’t help falling in love with you

- by Alejandro Giraldo “Sad Movies Couples”

I can’t help falling in love with you

if u ever let a nigga hit & his stroke game weak pull out a mic & be like “any comments on your poor performance tonight?”

Me.

“uhhh i underestimated the pussy and I didn’t execute when I needed to tonight. I’m just gonna hit the film room, watch some game tape and practice. hopefully I can do better next time”

“Just an overall lack of effort on my behalf. A few times I tried to stuff it in there, and couldn’t find the hole. Had trouble getting to the right spots and couldn’t maintain my overall intensity. But I’ll be back in the gym tomorrow looking for a better performance next time.”

🤣😂😂😂

It was a crescent moon, my dick game ain’t good on crescent moon nights

@thetattedstoner LMAOOOO 💀💀

Nope.

when your teacher is trying to teach you how to cast fireball

+3 to Intellect

If anybody’s wondering what’s happening here, this clip made it onto Outrageous Acts of Science, and they explained that this teacher was demonstrating the Leidenfrost effect, which is basically when you place a droplet of a liquid on a surface that’s far hotter than its boiling point. The part of the drop touching the hot surface turns into vapor and forms a cushion that the rest of the drop rests on top of, which causes it to skid across the floor so quickly. The substance the teacher uses in the video is liquid methane. But methane has a really low boiling point. Like, about −160 °C low. So once it touches the comparatively hot floor, the Leidenfrost effect comes into play, and it slides across the floor. The issue is though, methane is colorless, so you can’t normally see it. Thankfully (in this demonstration), methane is also very flammable, so he sets it on fire before dumping it onto the floor so you can see it as it moves. Definitely a cooler demonstration of the Leidenfrost effect than dropping a little water in a hot pan. Or hotter, if you like puns.

I hope something unexpectedly good happens to you this week.

by Casey Weldon

Everyone about Wreck It Ralph 2: OMG all the Disney princesses in one room together this scene will make history!!!!

Me, an intellectual:

When the whole squad looks good

If my baby don’t look at me like that, i don’t want them

^lmfao why am I laughing so hard at that

😂😂😂😂😂

Girls are perverts. When they like you they wanna watch you beat ya meat on facetime.

My upstairs neighbor is having really loud sex at 10:25am. And, while this feels like retaliation, I can only hope it mellows her out and she stops stomping around all the goddamn time

Wow in the time it took me to type up and tag this post, the sex started and ended…… she’ll prolly be vacuuming soon. 🙁

It’s 10:29 and the sex has ended. I am v sad for her

I feel like I jinxed her. Like her nigga follows me on here and saw this post, mid thrust, and got performance anxiety. I’m sorry, Upstairs Stomping Bitch.

There’s stomping. She’s up and moving around. And you know what….. I can’t even be mad anymore. If I was only getting fucked for seven minutes at a time, I’d stomp around too.

Y’all she’s showing tf out. She’s really up there like

Damn I just heard her door close and then footsteps coming down the stairs. He left 😭😭😭 he’s not even gonna try again.

I’m gonna need ear plugs for the level of stomping this is bound to cause. When her feet inevitably crash through my ceiling ima just look through the hole and be like “hi…. sorry you didn’t get fucked down this morning. Even tho you filed a noise complaint on me that one time, I was rooting for you.”

Update y’all: it’s 3:10pm and she is vacuuming THE FUCK out of the hardwood flooring

But then like, that really does sound like something ppl that are in need of orgasm do. Just extremely unnecessary cleaning, to take their mind off the lack of sexual release.

I can see the text conversation now.

“I heard Aaron came over last nightttt. Whatd you guys get up to???👀👀👀😏”

“Not much. Oh! But, I did finally get a chance to mop my bathtub tho!!🤗 It was a mess in there, so thank god.”

“😬😔”

It’s 12:26am and she is getting her back blown tf outttt. Cannot be the same nigga from earlier.

I have the strong urge to knock the broom against the ceiling and holler out “yaaas bitch get some bomb ass dick” but I don’t wanna fuck up the vibe

Nvm. It lasted from 12:20-12:28. It’s the same nigga.

She better not start stomping or cleaning. I’ll file a noise complaint so fucking fast. Imagine getting a noise complaint for shitty sex. Don’t do it, Stomping Upstairs Bitch

This incredibly pure and important 

MY FRAGILE HEART

If I ever not reblog this assume I’m dead

If my baby don’t look at me like that, i don’t want them

^lmfao why am I laughing so hard at that

😂😂😂😂😂

If my baby don’t look at me like that, i don’t want them

^lmfao why am I laughing so hard at that

😂😂😂😂😂