Literally the first thought I had was käänteiskentauri

Reblogging for many things but especially for that final pun.

The final pun is brilliantly wrought and deserving of applause that is, at the very least, 45 caliber.

They look like the strings section of an orchestra.

kookaburra refusing to budge

Kookaburra sits IN THE GODDAMN WAY

on the moving window he will play

Leave, Kookaburra leave, Kookaburra causing a delay

Can you believe we can just live in our houses with little animals

I can pick one up and kiss it any time you can just smooch them

Every day I wake up to little animal snores in my bed is a revelation

Sometimes you will be lying down and a little animal will stomp all over your body and organs 🥰

absolutely losing my mind that a bunch of nimby assholes spent $500k to build a sandcastle that was promptly wiped away

ted i really could not disagree more this is far from catastrophic. i am ensconced.

literally selling sand to people who live on the beach. some people's hustle and grift game cannot be overstated. world class shit right here

i love tumblr but i hate that we have been conditioned to think you can’t add some of the most insightful shit you’ve ever seen to absolute shitposts. please by all means reblog my posts with this kind of context because it’s so important. excellent points here.

my mom thought the earthquake was just a thing she alone was experiencing. she says she thought there was a 'giant rat under the sofa' girl thats the planet

Tumblr rn

the name "theresa" is so funny like. theres a what

de naam 'eris' is zo grappig. er is wat?

Navnet "erik" er så spøgst. Han er ik hvad?

hi everyone i hope you dont mind if i

(hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws)

why yes I AM making boop gifs from screen recording

ONE BOP THIS TIME

hello tumblr

...he is weaving the chocolate. Do you copy, this bitch is WEAVING CHOCOLATE

We are so damn lucky Chocolate Guy has a passion for chocolate and crafting beautiful, lifelike desserts.... because if he chose to put this level of work, dedication, and sheer determination into anything even slightly nefarious (instead of nearly breaking the laws of physics in order to create culinary masterpieces) we would be so epically fucked.

did I really just watch this man cheerfully force a block of chocolate through a pasta making machine?

Ch👍

ACAB

I fucking love when cops are such losers that you don’t even need to clown on them, they just do it themselves

why is peter pan always flying?

he neverlands

I love this joke because it never grows old

It has a nice hook.

It ticks to its own rhythm

I don’t get it. I’m lost, boys.

Boop!

Happy April booping everybody!!!

I want that thousand boops badge so comment on this post if you need boops. (And reblog so other ppl can have a boop list!)