Apologies if this is a messy ramble, I’m a bit out of it right now, but let me just start with this:
“others say because I can drive I can’t have ADHD”.
That is just an inherently untrue statement. There are plenty of people with ADHD who drive, my husband is one of them, as is my best friend, and several other people I can think of right now. Some folks with ADHD might not feel able to drive, but that is not the blanket “norm”, because no one person with ADHD has the exact same life experience and capabilities. Statements like that come from a place of ignorance, and lets be honest here, a little bit of ableism.
I also get people telling me all the time that I can’t actually have ADHD cause I’m an editor, and editing requires detail orientated work and “hyper just means you’re a scatter brain right? it’s not like you have the attention span for that”, to which I reply: have you ever met anyone with a hyper fixation? Some of us can channel that shit.
Of course that’s not true for everyone with ADHD, cause ADHD as we are coming to realize, is also a spectrum disorder.
Some people will swing clearly to one “side” of hyper, while some people will struggle with inattentiveness. Some others, like myself, have a combination of both, because although the sliding scale analogy can be helpful, it’s not entirely accurate. My exact diagnosis is combination ADHD with emphasis toward hyperactivity and rapid cycling thoughts combined with inattentiveness. Physically I’m not hyper, but mentally my brain is always “on”, which y’know, if you follow my blog it’s pretty evident I’m always going a mile a minute inside my own head, but outwardly? I’d pass for neurotypical because I’m not what ADHD “looks like”.
You are also right in that there is a lot of overlap between ADHD and ASD, and it is entirely possible to have either one or the other or both, and chances are if you are relating to those posts? There’s something there worth looking into.
I always used to find ADHD posts relatable, but just assumed everyone did on some level. Turns out not so much… turns out some people don’t have executive dysfunction problems… turns out some people can go to sleep at a regular hour and fall asleep within minutes, or finish a thought through without jumping onto a next one, or don’t find boredom so excruciatingly painful it can hurt like a physical ache or make you want to scream… seems fake I know, but apparently it’s a thing.
For the longest time I beat myself up for not being smart enough, for being lazy, for not being able to do such basic every day things. I hated myself for it. I despised what I perceived as personal and moral failings on my part, because I could not do supposedly easy things in the way people said I ought. Turns out there was a reason for that. And I am smart, I’m not lazy, and I can do things. I just needed a better level of support than I was getting.
If you want to get tested for both, get tested for both. I did on the advice of my therapist. It was enlightening and really helped me realize how much my ADHD actually affects my every day life, which in turn has helped me start to make it a lot, lot better.
I hope some of that was helpful to you, and I hope you find the help you need